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Parents are often children's main source of support following a trauma and it is Parental post-trauma distress stemming from child trauma exposure may .. Several parents reported that counselling was instrumental to their.
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Mental health services. Planning and coordinating healthcare. A-Z A-Z. Conditions and treatments. Healthy living. Services and support. Service profiles. Blog Blog. Blog authors. Podcast Podcast. Family breakups - supporting children Share show more. Listen show more. More show more. Tags: Relationships Relationships - Separation and divorce. A child can experience grief, anger, sadness and confusion over the breakup of their family.

They may blame themselves. Find sources of emotional support for yourself, so that you have the strength to help your child. Avoid criticising the other parent in front of your child. Family breakups are often difficult for children. Parents can help their kids by giving them honest explanations and emotional support. Children of all ages experience a wide range of bewildering emotions when their parents separate or divorce.

These may include sadness, anger, fear, jealousy and insecurity.

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If it is possible for both parents together to explain the situation simply, use words the child can understand. You may have to explain several times before the child fully grasps what has happened to their family and what their future holds. Be aware that your child will want the family to stay as it is, so they may not want to hear what you are telling them. Children may think they or their behaviour are to blame for the breakup. It is important to keep reinforcing that this is not the case.

Everyone grieves in different ways Grief is the normal emotional response to the loss of something precious. Everyone grieves in different ways. Children, like adults, may grieve inconsistently, seeming fine one day, only to be very upset and depressed the next. Everyone needs support Separation and divorce are emotionally difficult times for everyone. Sometimes, a parent can be so overwhelmed by their own pain that they are unable to support their child.

They may also expect the child to emotionally support them, instead of the other way around. It is important to find support for yourself — through family members, friends or professionals — so that you can look after yourself and also feel strong enough to support your child. Your child may also need professional support and counselling.

Explaining a breakup to your child Ways of helping your child to understand what has happened include: If possible, both parents should explain the breakup to the child, particularly when breaking the news. Reassure your child that the breakup is not their fault in any way and that both parents still love them. Tell your child, in as much detail as you can, about their new routine: where they will live, who will take them to school and so on.

It is a good idea to wait until you think they are ready to hear this information. Allow your child to ask as many questions as they want. Answer truthfully and honestly.

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It is OK to be upset. Use age-appropriate language.

As the child matures, you can explain the separation in more sophisticated ways. Be prepared to explain the separation to the child again and again. Seek professional advice if you feel it is necessary for yourselves or your child. Sometimes, it may be hard to find the right words for your child.

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It's really sad when this happens. So we are going to work out how to make this happen. Tell your child that it is OK to have a range of different feelings and suggest appropriate ways to express these feelings. This may include writing down feelings in a diary or releasing feelings through physical activity such as running or gardening. Share your own feelings — for example, cry together.

Be prepared to constantly reassure the child of your love for them and the love of the other parent. Arrange as much contact with the absent parent as possible.


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