Manual The Haunting of Tanya Gonzales: (The Shattered House) (The Haunted Sketchbook Book 2)

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Table of contents

Crow : Kinda sorry Shelley bought it. Joel : Yeah Servo : She bought it, but we paid for it. Time of the Apes [ edit ] [In response to Keiiche Abe's writing credit. Crow : Try not to pay any attention to that hideous pattern. Tommy : I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to sing. Joel : Good one, Frankie. We'll make fun of the movie, if you don't mind! Reporter : Everyone is asking the same question Servo : Why am I watching this?

I'm starting to miss that part of the movie. Season 1 [ edit ] The Crawling Eye [ edit ] [Two mountain climbers have just spied the corpse of another. It was torn off! Servo : You say that like it's a bad thing. All stops lead to a bloody death. You will do as I say. Joel : What's a giant eye going to do, pick you up and wink you to death? Servo : I don't think outside is the best place for fresh air right now. The Robot vs. This is my brother Xenon and my other brother Xenon.

Commando Cody : Do you mind telling me why your men are carrying out that campaign of destruction on Earth? Servo [as Retik] : It's an election year. Retik : Not at all.


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They are merely softening up your defenses for our impending invasion. Commando Cody : Why do you want to invade the Earth? Retik : Because the atmosphere on the Moon has become so thin and dry, it is impossible for us to raise food, except in pressurized greenhouses. Joel [as Cody] : Get a humidifier! Almada voices-over scenes of the doomed romance between Aztec maiden Xochi and warrior Popoca. Almada : So they decided to run away, even though it was her sacred duty to preserve her maidenhood and be sacrificed to the god Tezcatlipoca.

Joel [as Dr. Almada] : The god of decaffeinated coffee. Almada : They were discovered by the tribal priests. Almada] : They prepared hearty soups and broths and forced them on their guests, for they truly knew how to handle a hungry man. Krupp unveils his creation, a "human robot".

Krupp : Tonight I'm going to put it to the supreme test! Joel : The Cosmo sex quiz?

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Mad Monster movie [ edit ] Servo : Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Can't he just show them a pie chart or something? Blaine : Mingling the blood of man and beast is downright sacrilege! Joel : Tell that to the NFL! Blaine is pacing around aimlessly instead of fulfilling his promise to Dr. Cameron that he'd inject Petro with Cameron's werewolf serum.

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You told him you would. Don't pad your part! Cameron has successfully turned his gardener into a werewolf and back again. Cameron] : That felt good Now I'm going to turn my daughter into a woodchuck.

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Fitzgerald : [viewing Cameron's lab] You seem to be excellently equipped. Servo [as Dr. Cameron] : Thank you! I didn't think you could tell through these trousers. Women of the Prehistoric Planet [ edit ] [Klutzy Lt. Bradley demonstrates martial arts and winds up somersaulting to the ground. Bradley : Hi-keeba! Servo : You know, I could watch that all day.

Bradley attempts comic relief. Farrell looks into the bubbling pond that swallowed a crewman.

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Scott and Lt. Karen Lamont gaze into each other's eyes. The Corpse Vanishes [ edit ] Radar Men from the Moon, Chapter 3 short [ edit ] The Corpse Vanishes movie [ edit ] [After a bride "dies" at the altar, two men carry her out on a stretcher, still in her poofy wedding dress. Lorenz eagerly receives the white bundle in his hearse.

Lorenz prepares to inject his wife with a hypodermic needle. Lorenz] : Now you might feel a little sting Lorenz shrieks loudly.

Lorenz] : OK, a big sting. Crow : No one could hold a candle to him in this role. Well, maybe they could douse him in something flammable and then hold a candle to him. Joel : [chuckles] OK Crow : They were all so stupid , they tried to commit inconspicuous acts of murder on the most conspicuous day of a woman's life! Joel : [impressed] You, my friend, get a RAM chip!

The Crawling Hand [ edit ] [In a diner, some kids are dancing around a jukebox. The owner of the diner walks up and turns it off. Joel : This is just like Footloose. Joel [as Owner] : Unless they're on the menu. Is this From Here to Eternity?

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Servo : No, it just seems like an eternity. And you're "not with it"?


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    6. Paul : "Stacked"? Crow [as Paul] : "Stacked" means you're really smart. Police Officer : Did you hear anything Crow [as Officer] : The sound of one hand clapping? Weitzberg : Not a trace. Not a solitary trace. Joel : Must be a talent meter. Crow : Gesundheit. Joel : You're not supposed to do that Shoot him. That's your solution to everything.

    Something gets in your way, you pull out your little gun and you gotta shoot them. Well mister listen, someday there's going to be a flying Rocketeer behind you who's going to shoot back. Robot Monster movie [ edit ] [Space-helmeted, ape-like alien Ro-Man makes his first viewscreen contact with the last human survivors.

    Listen to me! Due to an error in calculation, there are still a few of you left. Joel [as Ro-Man] : We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused you. Calculate your chances.

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    Negative, negative, negative. Crow : He's so negative! It's like, there's a guy in a gorilla suit, and there's— he's got a robot head, and inside he's got kind of a bunch of clay… I mean, I've seen Dali paintings that make more sense than this movie does. Servo : Yeah, but I think there's a fine line between surrealism and costume-shop closeouts.

    I rest my case.