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The state of marriage fills up the number of the elect and hath in it the labor of love and the delicacies of friendship, the blessing of society and the union of hands and hearts. It is indeed the very nursery of heaven. The nature of man's career in marriage consists primarily in a permanent union for the procreation and education of children, the provision of a home, support of his wife and his offspring, constant vigilant care for the spiritual and temporal welfare of his household.

The nature of a woman's career in marriage consists in the bearing and education of children, insoluble union, home- making and housekeeping. These are not matters of choice but of obligation. A married man may give proof of power to rule an empire, master abstruse sciences, write immortal tomes--yet if he fulfills not the primary ends of the marriage career he is a failure. A married woman may win by her particular capabilities and capacities the plaudits of the world for her contribution to medical and scientific research, or for works of art that grace the greatest museums and art galleries in the world; yet if she fulfills not the primary ends of her marriage career she is indeed a failure.

Her first duty is to be a wife and mother and homemaker. Failure to realize that marriage is a career is one of the tragedies of our day and the chief cause of the countless broken homes. People readily accept law, teaching, medicine, nursing, singing and advertising as careers, but neglect to include matrimony among the top-flight careers. Important as all careers may appear to be, only two were elevated to the dignity of sacraments--the priesthood and marriage. That consideration above all else should merit for the matrimonial state special veneration.

No one would deny that for Gainsborough painting was a career, after feasting one's eyes on his famous Blue Boy. But what comparison is there between the colored oils skillfully blended on canvas by the hand of the artist and a tiny, lovely infant born to an adoring mother and father whose union had been sanctified in marriage?

If painting the picture of a child is a career, dare we deny that parenthood is a career? What artist could reproduce the faint azure blue of a baby's eyes or gather rays of pale dawn and distill therefrom the delicate pink that graces a baby's dimpled cheek? Who but God, in using human agencies, could put such innocence and trust into a baby's smile or bless such frail little hands with enough terrible strength to help weld two hearts into one until death do them part?

No one would think of denying that teaching is a high career, but, by far and large, the first and most important school is the home, and the most influential teachers, all mothers and fathers. Nursing is a career, but a mother's untaught hands can often heal and nurse with such latent skill that they can coax a waning life back to strength when it has slipped beyond the reach of a registered nurse and even the physician.

If entertaining an audience from the stage, screen, or over the radio is a career, creating joy and happiness in a home is also a career. Diplomacy is a career, but where is diplomacy so necessary and so frequently required as in marriage? Indeed, the keeping of a husband or a wife for life demands more consummate diplomacy than that ever exercised by Richelieu and Churchill together.

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The author of the "Lady of the Lake," Sir Walter Scott, sums up for husbands the most contradictory and salient characteristics of all wives in a single verse thus:. Some careerists are successful though they may only practice the virtues requisite to their own particular vocations.

Thus, it is quite possible for a doctor to be successful in medicine or surgery without having to practice the subtle arts of the diplomat. When a traffic officer stops your car and roars at you that highly original greeting, "Pull over, Buddy. Where's de fire? Marriage as a career differs from all others inasmuch as it demands for its success a great combination of many virtues and qualities peculiar to many particular careers.

Marriage demands the patience of the teacher, the training of the psychologist, the diplomacy of the statesman, the justice of a Supreme Court judge, the sense of humor of a good comedian, the self-sacrifice of a good doctor, "the-customer-is-always-right" attitude of the successful department store salesman, the mercy of the confessor, and so on, ad infinitum.

Having once established the fact that marriage is a topflight career, it naturally follows that the same rules govern its success as govern those of other careers. Every successful career demands adequate preparation, intelligent earnestness, persistent industry, and the will-to-win, but marriage demands all these, plus the anointed strength of love.

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If every couple would but bring to marriage one half the consuming zeal for success that Thomas A. Edison brought to his scientific career, how different many of them would be! As a youth, Edison spent long dreary hours practicing on the tiny telegrapher's key, learning the code and manner of sending and receiving messages. There was a four-day walk from Port Huron to Boston in search of work. There was the penniless arrival in New York and a chance job repairing a telegraphic communication system in a stock exchange on Wall Street that led to financial betterment, but it was dogged determination to succeed that made him so outstanding as a scientist.

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Take, for instance, Edison's work on the carbon filament. In October, , he determined to make his experiment work if it was the last thing he ever did. So convinced was he that the carbon filament was utilizable that he refused to leave his laboratory until he completed his work. On the second night he said to his associate, Charles Batchelor, "We will make a lamp before we sleep or die in the attempt," and make it he did, though it took four sleepless days and nights before the now famous Edison incandescent light was invented and the whole lighting system revolutionized in the world.

Edison's career was successful solely because he brought to it a determination to succeed no matter what the cost. Success in any field rarely comes without great sacrifices. One has only to read about the life of Madame Curie and her devoted husband and follow the discovery of radium to evaluate the cost of success in a career. Madame Curie's sufferings as she worked in the smoke-filled shed, cold in the winter and stifling hot in the summer, defy description. The work of days became months and years, and failure dogged her every minute of the time, but Marie Curie, with terrible patience, continued to treat kilogram by kilogram the tons of pitchblende residue.

Poverty hampered her in the acquisition of adequate equipment. The obstacles seemed insurmountable in the forty-five months of experimentation, but in the end the Curie work produced radium. Who could look at the great Marie Curie as she lay on her deathbed, after thirty-five years' work with radium, and see her tired, burned, scarred hands without realizing the awful cost of success in a career? Success in marriage depends upon acceptance of the fact that it is a career and upon the readiness and willingness to bring to it all the determination possible to overcome every difficulty and obstacle on the road to success.

If a marriage breaks up, it is not because a man or woman must accept defeat but because the defeat is willed. A kite cannot be made to fly unless it goes against the wind and has a weight to keep it from overturning. No marriage will succeed unless there is readiness to face and overcome difficulties and a willingness to accept the responsibilities of a parent, for parenthood is the weight that keeps most marriages from somersaulting. When Divine Love Incarnate came to Cana of Galilee to sanctify forever pure conjugal love, He came to that marriage fresh from His terrible bout with Satan.


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Since the first man and his wife had succumbed to temptation in the Garden of Eden, it was divinely planned that Christ, the New Adam, should permit the same tempter to attack Him and be ignominiously defeated and thus set a pattern for all to follow in the resistance of temptation. His sacred presence at the wedding was ever to be an earnest of the help and special graces He would grant those called to the marriage career who would likewise resist the onslaughts of Satan.

Yea, more, Our Lord would elevate matrimony to the dignity of a Sacrament and make of it a veritable channel of special graces. It is worthy of note, however, that while en route to Cana, the Master called His first five apostles, one of them being Nathanael St. Bartholomew , a native of Cana of Galilee. The timing of Nathanael's call to the apostolate was, doubtless, to indicate the primacy of dignity and honor of the priesthood and religious life over marriage, and that, in that very order, they would form a trinity of top-flight careers.

It was only after choosing a nucleus for His priesthood that Christ went down to the marriage at Cana of Galilee. Lord Bacon, one of the great English philosophers and essayists, tells us: "He was reputed one of the wise men that made answer to the question--when a man should fall in love and marry--'a young man not yet, and an older man not at all. I, for one, cannot dismiss the feeling that the formulator of that answer was either once in love and was jilted, or he was married and his wife beat him.

Love is the wine of existence and marriage is an honorable estate, or, should I say, for some it is an imperative one, and go along with Saint Paul, who fiercely puts it: "For it is better to marry than to be burnt. I Cor. In the second chapter of the Book of Genesis we are told that when the world was in its freshness of new beauty and Adam was master of it all, God saw the need of making a companion for him.

One thing was lacking: "for Adam there was not found a helper like himself" and "it was not good for man to be alone"; and so God made Eve. Strange as it may seem, falling in love means searching and finding in another, the partner who will make it easier for you to fulfill your destiny and realize God's plan for yourself. At least, that is one conception of love. A clear-cut definition of love is not as easy to find as one might imagine.

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Few encyclopedias even carry the word. They devote pages to economics, art, and music, but ignore love. The writers of books on marriage either avoid giving a definition of it or frankly admit that it is indefinable. The inimitable George Bernard Shaw when invited to contribute to a book on marriage replied: "No man dare write the truth about marriage while his wife lives. There may be as much "dare not" as "cannot" involved in this complex matter. The gifted St. Thomas Aquinas had no inhibitions on the subject and boldly declared that "to love a person is to wish him well.

True love's the gift which God has given To man alone beneath the heaven. It is not fantasy's hot fire Whose wishes, soon as granted, fly; It liveth not in fierce desire-- With dead desire, it doth not die. It is the secret sympathy, The silver link, the silken tie Which heart to heart and mind to mind In body and in soul can find. To Scott, then, love is a composite thing which, laying hold upon one's nature, binds it with another in secret sympathy.

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Like grace, the effects of love are easier to treat than its nature. Love, like death, is the universal leveler of mankind. It is nature's motive and reward. It is only natural that since love was to be the mainspring of man's existence it would be the very thing Satan would endeavor to counterfeit. Thus true love, like every genuine thing of value, has numerous imitations. The cruel task for many is to sift the wheat from the chaff, to distinguish the true from the false, the precious metal from the slag. There is but one thing against which genuine love is helpless and that is time.

Love is like wine in that age improves the good and sours the bad. If we are to accept modern songs, novels, the radio, and movies as our criteria, we shall believe that love comes at first sight and with such a crushing force that one is powerless to resist. Such, however, is not the case. If love were always to strike like lightning, then no one would be safe. Your mother might be smitten by the paper boy and your father by John's Other Wife. Momentary attraction must not be confused with love, for love needs time. Love at first is fancy, then there follows admiration, joined with respect and devotion.

In this melange of emotions there occurs, sometimes, violent agitation, but more often there is a gentle simmering, a confused but agreeable mingling, until gradually all becomes transfused into a vital feeling called love. Since so much depends on love for abiding happiness in marriage, it stands to reason that a comprehensive understanding of what real love is takes on paramount importance. There is nothing so misunderstood and no word so abused as the word '"love. Ignorance of the development of love, as well as the multitudinous forms love takes, makes for the misunderstanding of it.