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Her parents fed her imagination by taking Jane to Europe for a year where she became passionate about Italy and those gorgeous Italian men! I'm in a long term relationship and my girlfriend and I have and are still having difficulties in the bedroom department. Unfortunately I was on medication that had a severe effect on my ability to perform in the bedroom.

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This happened several times, my girlfriend was understanding at first but eventually stopped being so understanding. There's no word to describe how demoralising and how pathetic it made me feel. I felt and still do to an extent like I'm not a 'real' man. I remember one instance where I couldn't 'perform' - I was screamed at, verbally abused and left to cry myself to sleep. Just recalling this experience to share here is painful. My medication situation is okay now- everything functions as it should- but I am scared of intimacy now after these horrific experiences.

I see a sex therapist and am making positive progress but the key to getting anywhere with things like this is communication. For quite some time I was scared to bring up the topic with my girlfriend in fear of being scolded. My girlfriend felt as if I didn't love her or find her attractive. She couldn't have been more wrong, but I can completely understand why she felt that way. We are working through these issues now, my girlfriend is much more understanding now, and I'm working hard to ensure I communicate properly.

I do see a light at the end this awful tunnel, where as a few months ago I didn't. I'm so sorry that your girlfriend reacted that way, that must have been traumatic for you. My most recent ex we broke up for other reasons had issues in the bedroom department too, but it honestly didn't bother me one bit, all I cared about was that he was having a good time with me and felt comfortable, and we worked with what we had on the day and after time it actually became a non-issue because he felt so relaxed in a judgment-free environment.

There's a quote that goes "watch carefully the magic that occurs, when you give a person just enough comfort to be themselves", it's what I would most like in a person so I try and be that for someone else. But I think communication is key. We're all insecure in relationships, and so there is always that doubt that "maybe I'm not enough" "maybe they don't find me attractive", and so I think reassurance is key.

Why Women Stay With Cheating Men? | HuffPost Life

There's nothing for men to be ashamed of, women are just spoilt that there's no such pressure for us so we don't really understand. I am in the exact same position as you are however I am 23yo and my partner is We are lucky if we have sex once every two months. We are both fit and active and in love too but the only thing that lacks is sex. I have also tried approaching him about it, even burst into tears because i was so embarrassed to be so upset about the topic. He also reacted the same way as your partner saying that me wanting it made him not want it, but he didnt want to be the one to always initiate it, when I try to initiate it he mocks me or just yawns and says he is tired.

I wouldnt jump to conclusions to say that he is cheating or anything, some women in fact have a higher sex drive than males.


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It definitely isn't normal though. I have read alot of different articles on this particular topic, there are a few things that have stuck out to me - maybe try increasing his - but if you want to be subtle you both could do it intake more fat in your diet. Now i don't mean sugary fats but i mean the healthy fats such as Avocado or almonds. These apparently increase testosterone levels.

Also, when it comes to the act, don't 'prep' yourself, maybe, when you are both lying in bed, start slowly trying to seduce him or do something that you may normally do like cuddling or something and try to make the seduction semi-normal Also, lack of sleep will affect his sex drive and if he has alot on his mind with regards to his anxiety and depression that definitely lowers the sex drive too.

Take it one day at a time. Maybe try increasing the good fat intake, maybe exercising more, or don't exercise 3 hours before you go to sleep, and try getting more sleep. If he says he is 'keen', just go straight for it up to you. Ultimately though, i have been considering this decision myself lately, if he doesn't come to the party or try - then you need to evaluate whether he is in fact meeting your needs? I hope this helps! Yep another woman with a higher drive than her spouse here. It sucks to be rejected. Truly is a giant kick in the guts as a woman although I'm sure blokes feel just as rubbish too.

I went about the problem a different way. By accepting I have needs. Sometimes that means if he's sitting on the couch tuning out I'll strip off where he can see and go take care of myself. He usually turns off the tv. And those days he doesn't I just accept his comment "have fun? I don't ask or nag for sex. I aim to flirt and make him curious.

Why men can never forgive a wife's affair... even though they'd expect YOU to forgive them

Doesn't always work but I try. Purposefully shaking things up helped too. I remember him thinking I had a shopping list and then going red when he realised it was a list of fantasties.


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Yes or no husband of mine? Basically what I'm getting at is I've given up feeling shy or ashamed. He's my husband. I don't want sex with anyone else. I want him. And he knows that sex and intimacy for me are a dealbreaker. I don't care how we go about being intimate. But if we're in the same house and he's acting like a housemate then something has to change. Completely understand what you are going through in terms of your boyfriend not initiating. I had the same issue with my boyfriend until a little while ago. We have been together for almost a year now.

Until about a month ago we were living in different cities. Him in Melbourne and me in Sydney.

We live together now. He never initiated things with me in the sexual aspect. Eventually I felt that our relationship was kind of in a rut until one of us brought it up. I took the initiative and I asked him about it and he was honest and said he was waiting until we were in a more stable situation so it had nothing to do with him not being attracted to me or anything like that.

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