Guide The Ex Co-Worker

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Table of contents

• How to Handle a Difficult Ex-Coworker Who's Threatening You - Dealing with difficult people
• 20 things you should never say to your coworkers
• Comments Closed
• 10 Coworker Hookup Confessions That Might Make You Reconsider an Office Fling
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Breakups are difficult enough.

You have now entered a minefield. Dating a boss or employee is an article unto itself. It makes sense that people in the office would date each other, seeing as you spend the majority of your day together. However, as you may have discovered from a recent breakup, the downside is that you are spending most of your day together.

Remember that you are not alone — 25 to 30 percent of coworkers have dated within their office. Do consider that dating someone at the office makes a breakup more complicated, and it can impact your productivity.

In extreme cases, it may cause you to lose your job. Again, sometimes finding Mr. Right at the office is inevitable.

If you run into each other in the break room, be civil to each other. Sometimes putting the obvious out in the open makes the obvious not so bad. When you and your ex were together, you most likely changed your patterns so you could spend some time together at the office.

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The two of you may still be in those same patterns after your breakup. Instead of going for coffee, take a walk outside. Get coffee at instead of Make it less likely that you will run into your ex. While breakups tend to not go smoothly, now you have another topic to discuss — how to navigate the workday without causing more strife between the two of you. Are the two of you working on a project together? Will you continue to work together and attempt to be civil, or will one of you back out and find a replacement? Keep in mind that the person who proposed the breakup may have the burden of backing away from a shared project.

If your former partner is hurt or angry, he or she may stay on a project as a sign of not acquiescing to yet another one of your requests. One couple agreed that they would give a civil greeting when they saw each other, but there would be no loitering or chit-chat.

Other couples have discussed whether they would let their coworkers know that they had ended their relationship. This depends on how much you let your coworkers know about your relationship in the first place. If your relationship was kept quiet, consider keeping your breakup quiet as well. And never criticize your ex at the office.

That information will get back to them. I was just approached by our boss and he clearly knew of our conversation. Escalate the issue. Is there ever a time when it makes more sense to skip the confrontation with the backstabber and go straight to the boss? The last thing you want is to be perceived as jealous, difficult to work with, or a tattletale.

Ignore it. The best way to deal with an office traitor moving forward is to avoid them as much as possible—and cover your tracks. Here are some strategies:.

Maintain a paper trail. So if a conversation about a project takes place, follow up with a brief email to the person and outline what was decided so that nothing can be denied later. Send your manager updates. If someone is trying to take credit for your work, giving your manager frequent project updates where possible, so they know who is responsible for each task, will make it more difficult for a sneaky coworker to steal your spotlight, says Domeyer.

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Avoid gossip. Often backstabbers will fuel the gossip mill with opinions you may have shared in confidence. Remember, nothing is off the record to a potential backstabber. Be aware, even in casual settings. You need to be extra vigilant if you suspect there to be a backstabber in your midst, especially during times when you might otherwise be relaxed, like lunchtime, happy hour, or even casual hallway conversations, says Anderson. Backstabbers at work can butcher your confidence, but only if you let them.

It takes experience—but there are other ways you can learn practical ways to avoid job drama. Could you use some help?

Join Monster for free today. From dealing with a bad boss to learning how to be more persuasive at work, Monster can help you steer your career path in a positive direction. By commenting, you agree to Monster's privacy policy , terms of use and use of cookies. Thank you! You are now a Monster member—and you'll receive more content in your inbox soon.

By continuing, you agree to Monster's privacy policy , terms of use and use of cookies. Search Career Advice. Beware of backstabbers at work From bullies to gossipmongers, this is how to handle peers who want to make you look bad.