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Having a community of people in similar circumstances makes it less isolating. Blogging also gave Amy, the author of My Married Life marriedwifeblog. Tuesday Malone, a married mum who writes about her affair with a married man at insidetheaffair. Blogging, like infidelity, can become an addiction in itself — and for some, infidelity blogging can become something of a demanding mistress too. Tuesday Malone admits this.

Bloggers do sometimes hang up their boots, of course. Amy thinks she'll eventually lose interest in blogging because finding opportunities to write isn't easy. Tuesday Malone agrees that her blog would be brought to a swift conclusion if her husband found it, although she takes steps to avoid that, using a proxy server, only blogging when she's alone in the house and always deleting her browsing history. She claims she's equivocal whether discovery would actually be a good thing — but she hesitates and I can't decide if the implication is that it might free her to keep blogging without subterfuge, or that being exposed might in itself be good blog material.

For many anonymous bloggers the risks of being found out are outweighed by the benefits that blogging brings, despite concern that discovery could hurt loved ones. Kimberly describes the dangers in her blog, The Errant Wife www. Serial Mistress, a divorcee who dates married men and writes about her experiences at serialmistress. There's an argument that says infidelity blogs are written to the detriment of relationships.

But does guilt exist in virtual reality? Opinion is divided. Ms Scarlett, a fortysomething married mum, writes about her affair with a married man at msscarlettletter. She doesn't feel guilt about her affair or her blog, and argues that's common among infidelity bloggers. Not sure. Maybe we've been pushed far enough in our real lives that it just doesn't feel wrong," she muses. In contrast, Callie feels guilty on both counts. But just learning about what I have done would be devastating to our relationship," she admits.

I am betraying my lover by writing my blog. But somehow I have blocked the guilt and not allowed myself to feel it. The thing I feel most guilty about is not feeling guilty. At heart, infidelity blogging appears to be an effort to give concrete reality to relationships that often have their roots in unreality; to legitimise something that society mostly denounces.

An infidelity blogger might not be able to hold the hand of her lover in public but she can create an online persona around their affair and write in intimate detail about illicit hours spent together. Still, writing online about infidelity could be seen as a harder betrayal to understand than the adultery itself. After all, while an affair can be unintentional, or at least unpremeditated, there's nothing unwitting about blogging.

It's hard not to feel pangs of pity for the partners who know less about the person with whom they exchanged vows than scores of virtual strangers. But it's not always easy, either, to condemn the choices of those for whom adultery and the internet offer a release from the realities of difficult relationships. Either way, whether they are seeking virtual absolution or just attention, the new infidelity bloggers seem to be having their cake and writing about it too.

I blog about my experiences as a single woman, dating married men. I started blogging to help people understand that mistresses aren't all home-wreckers and unpaid hookers. I'll always be in the firing line regarding my life as a serial mistress but even if my blog came under criticism I wouldn't stop. The typical mistress has always been portrayed as a damaged woman who falls for a man she can't have, and spends the rest of her time either pining over him or trying to wreck his marriage.

I'm not interested in wrecking homes or destroying lives and I make no demands of the men I date, so I have nothing to be ashamed of. I refuse to hide just because that's what society says the "scarlet woman" should do. I love being single and I enjoy the company of successful, charismatic men who have other lives to go to when they're not with me. I love living alone and I enjoy close relationships with attached men, without it becoming mundane, without having to pick up pants off the floor, and without the grief and hassle most relationships endure.

I am a mother, a partner, a businesswoman, a friend and a lover.


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The real me never really sees the light of day until I blog. My blog allows me to share my experience with a like-minded community. I didn't realise there were so many of us out there until I started this journey.

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My personal feelings are usually hidden beneath a veneer. As a mum and businesswoman I'm required to be on my best behaviour but sometimes you just need an outlet to say the things you can't normally say. Mums have it hard — society still expects us to be virtuous and homely, and we don't have the equality in the home that we do in business. We lose all sense of sexuality and self. I think this is why we are seeing a rise in female bloggers. Just to say out loud what you feel is a form of therapy.

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I feel guilty everyday but I'm not doing anything that hasn't been done before, it's just wrapped up in a different package. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone and that's always in the back of my mind. Maybe I'll stop when my story is told. I've been married for almost seven years and I have slept with quite a few other men.

My husband is not aware. I looked on the web to see if there were other women in the same situation and all I found were people being shot down by the moral police. So I started my blog as an experiment; a place to order my thoughts and talk at my own pace, and to connect with others in similar circumstances and find out if they felt the same things. I love my hubby dearly; I don't think I love him any less than someone who is faithful. My blog is not a place for evangelists against cheating, although I do listen to good advice. Maybe blogging is a justification.

Wife selling (English custom)

Maybe it's a desire for community. I write about my infidelities from an emotional and physical perspective. I love my sexuality and want to connect with others like me.

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Besides my friends, the people who read my blog are mostly spectators and voyeurs like me. I like reading about people who love their spouses but have discreet sexual fun with others. I am a thirtysomething married woman having an affair. I started blogging because I felt isolated from both my husband and my married lover.

The fact is, whether you like it or not, you will need the help of another milspouse in the future. Whether if it's for source of information, someone to laugh with or a shoulder to cry on, your connection and friendship with other milspouses will help you throughout your whole milspouse journey.

The Reason Reason Why Being a Military Wife is So Hard

Make sure to put an effort into building those connections with others, it will help you out in the long run. Solo parenting can happen.

I knew that parenting by myself was a possibility at some point in my milspouse journey, but I didn't know the amount of energy it really took out of a mom. Don't get me wrong, it can be done but it is a lot to get used to. Just make sure to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the possibility of solo parenting. Career on the backburner. Before I married my husband, I was working in the medical field for eight years and was going to school to further my education.

I had a whole game plan of what my career would look like in the next couple of years. Until that game plan changed because the military moved us. You'll find that you may have to put your career on hold because you love someone who loves their country, but that should not stop you from creating and conquering your goals.