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Table of contents

• Wingnuts Make Very Own 'Onion' Knockoff, For Jesus!
• 'The Onion Presents Our Front Pages' - The New York Times
• The Onion...apparently Jesus attended A&M...
• Jesus Returns To Earth, Finally Avenges Himself On The Onion
• In this episode...

In true Onion fashion, these riffs start out normal enough.

• To The Sea.
• The Soldiers Wife: A Single Wife Story.
• Get United Methodist Insight Weekly!.
• Queen of the States!
• Undeclared: Two Stories of College Self-Searching.
• The Dawn Of Hyper-Man.
• Peeling The Onion.

The waning moments of the first episode brings one of the best touches in entire series: a grieving parent is borderline forced into an ad read by Pascall. The series progresses and these joke commercials also venture into other recommended shows in the Onion podcast universe. His inability to fathom carnival games is the inevitable, logical extreme. The twist in the Episode 4 commercial complete with the deceptively cheery, bounciness of Spotify ad music is even better than the jokey bombshell that comes at the end. We are always dealing with one onion no matter how many different layers there are.

Exposing a deeper layer does not deny the existence of the outer ones. To illustrate this, we'll pick up the Genesis onion and look at it. Remember, we aren't going to argue about our views, we are just going to present them.

The first argument to lay aside is: Did the garden, the first couple, the trees and the snake really exist? Does it really matter? We are looking for the truth IN the story, not the truth OF the story. It isn't necessary for the Three Pigs to be real pigs in order for us to learn that we shouldn't build our lives on flimsy beliefs. There is, however, more pitfalls in taking a story literally than there is using it symbolically.

What happens when you accept only a literal 'Adam and Eve in the Garden' story?

You blame them or the serpent for the curse that you believe is on you. The FALL, as many call the experience, is seen as a one-time event that sent the whole planet to the prison of sin, sickness and death. Then one may conclude that we are serving the sentence for another man's crime and are not responsible for our predicament.

That's the danger or the advantage of holding to a literal interpretation. If, on the other hand, we see the story as a figurative illustration of a principle, and that principle is in operation in our lives, it transfers the responsibility of it to us. Having the revelation that all the characters and events in the first two chapters of Genesis occur within you, you can understand why a current situation is either a blessing or a curse to you. What did you do to cause it? The point here is, there are deeper layers to the story than what we've previously swallowed.

As a tale of sin and disobedience, it doesn't align with Truth. The knowledge of good and evil is part of every man's learning experience.

If we are to grow up we must pursue discernment of good and evil. As it states in the New Testament:. But strong meat belongs to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use. Doesn't he know you'll surely die with that advise? Solomon seems to agree with both writers:. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs Are not death and life part of the knowledge of good and evil? Yes, all pairs of opposites are on that tree.

Let's let an even higher authority have the last word:. Thus says the Lord, I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.

• Letters to His Beloved;
• Ironic Onion.
• That Scholarship Boy?
• Alien Abduction: Virgin Erotica - Science Fiction, Erotic Short Story Anthology.
• Cauchy3-Book 31-Poems: Mad as Nutty Cakes..
• Onion Article: Man Somehow Overcomes Alcoholism Without Jesus!
• Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, June 20, 1917.

Deuteronomy After chewing on those statements, another layer of onion is revealed. We were are led to the knowledge of good and evil, that we might by reason of use comparing good to evil get our discerner in shape to choose life over death. After that.

1. Shop with confidence.
2. Wingnuts Make Very Own 'Onion' Knockoff, For Jesus! - Wonkette.
3. Summer at Pebble Beach.
4. The Onionapparently Jesus attended A&M | TexAgs.
5. Hells Creation: Part One.
6. Screenplay - The Extermination of Kings III: America.
7. 'It's My Onion!'.

That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them. Stay with me now on the same layer of onion. We aren't discussing patriarchs or the nation of Israel. This is much more important!

'The Onion Presents Our Front Pages' - The New York Times

We are exposed to a world that presents to us an image of good and evil, life and death, that we might wisely turn from both images and choose the reality of Life that transcends opposites, the Life that is God himself. Then we will return to the land that, as He promised, belongs to us and always has: the garden where the tree of eternal life stands. Once we master the material in a textbook, we put the book aside and enter into the life of the knowledge, which is the practical application of it. When we graduate from school, we apply what we learned there in the real world.

The Onion...apparently Jesus attended A&M...

The world of opposites, of sowing and reaping, of cause and effect, is the classroom of our life. The day will come when we will walk out of the school gates, and live in pure life - death free. Pure goodness is wholeness, which has no opposite. We will have returned to God, after so long a journey of imagined separation.

Imagined because we saw a self other than the one Self. We never really left the omnipresent Father. He played hide and seek with Himself. The game is His pretend-life as another self.

Jesus Returns To Earth, Finally Avenges Himself On The Onion

When the game is over, we all return to Wholeness. We are absorbed by God. We were one all along. Jesus showed us you can live in a physical school, but retain a conscious union with Home Father. He was on the earth plane, yet one with the spirit realm at all times.

In this episode...

He is the way to the Father for us, if we learn from his example. He never partook of this world's good and evil fruit. To him everything, regardless of appearance was created for the glory of the Father. A problem wasn't a problem, it was an opportunity to bless. Lack wasn't lack, it was an empty cup to be filled with substance. Human intellect has a test to see if you are a positive or negative person.

They show you a cup that is either half empty or half full and ask you which it is. But Jesus would take an empty cup and fill it. Even death wasn't death, it was a hypnotic state that ended when Life snapped his fingers. Files are available under licenses specified on their description page. All structured data from the file and property namespaces is available under the Creative Commons CC0 License ; all unstructured text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License ; additional terms may apply.

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