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Love's Reflections [Ian Harding] on leondumoulin.nl *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Falling in love, falling out of love, losing love: thankfully, these are not.
Table of contents
- Love's pure light: Reflections on the passage of marriage equality — Monash University
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- Publisher's Summary
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- Reflections on Love
The overall two-part structure works quite well, but within each section the order of the poems feels arbitrary. Reviewed by Rebecca Foster September 12, Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The author of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer.
Foreword Reviews and Clarion Reviews make no guarantee that the author will receive a positive review.
Love's pure light: Reflections on the passage of marriage equality — Monash University
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Try again or cancel this request. Book Reviews Clarion Reviews Poetry. Buy Locally. It engages everything about me, my whole self: my intellect, my ego, my will, my character, not just my heart.
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It is wholly concerned with substance — substance found in the worthiness of the Beloved. Unlike attraction, which can be instantaneous, love develops on a foundation of respect. Instead of superficial infatuation, love is very closely akin to admiration. Admiration means that we hold the Beloved in high regard, in esteem, that we are aware of his excellence, his beauty of soul, his worthiness.
Both respect and admiration — and consequently love — are not so much the result of anything in us as they are our response to the character of the Beloved, to the beauty of his soul; both admiration and love honor the essential worthiness of the Beloved, in his mind, character, and accomplishments, his Faith, values, and ideals.
In fact, the theme of love, the subject of our devotion, is the Beloved. My feelings become — not secondary, but inconsequential.
Publisher's Summary
I become secondary. My Beloved is what counts; he is what matters — not myself, my feelings, my satisfaction, not even the reciprocation of my affections because love is not an entitlement ; only him — his beauty and worthiness, then his peace, his happiness, his immortal soul's well-being.
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This self-abnegating nature of love — this putting myself and my wishes after what best serves my Beloved, shows me that I am being changed in consequence of loving. By nature I am selfish, shallow; I want my own way and the satisfaction of my own wants; to put another before myself, even to the point of sacrificial self-donation, shows me that there is something at work in me that is far bigger than myself. This is an important revelation, because love is part of the Mystery of God. When we love, we are being allowed to share more fully in His Nature.
We quote the scriptures, "God is love;" we remember that He loved us and gave Himself for us. And when we love, truly, He allows something of Himself to enter into us to make us more than we were before. It is part of His method of refining and perfecting us.
It is part of the Mystery of Love that I can be lifted out of myself to care more for another than I do myself — to want my Beloved's good more than my own, even if I may not share it. In literature dating prior to the midth century, we see many references of man and woman in love choosing to love and to live for one another. They are the same thing, I believe, only the latter is deeply founded upon a decidedly Catholic spirituality that, say, Jane Austen would not have been privy to. This is where the element of decision comes into play — after respect and trust have been established, and when love has taken solid root.
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I want to be cautious here: there is danger in confusing the health of love and the dangers of codependency. When decision enters the relationship prematurely, we risk having an unhealthy and doomed relationship — a codependent relationship. Codependency is an attachment developed for a man, not because he has demonstrated himself worthy but because we have chosen him to become our ideal. As with infatuation, the focus of the relationship becomes our feelings, and particularly the desperation to be loved.
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A codependent woman will endure insults and abuses; she even loses her sense of her own integrity trying to earn acceptance. This is not the choice we want to encourage!
Reflections on Love
In love, we don't try to "make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. We are not unaware of his struggles with sin and personal flaws. Still, we know the fundamental bent of his character, and because it is noble and admirable, because it resonates with the most important things inside ourselves, we love him. Only then, and in the full integrity of our own soul, we can choose to work out our love in self-donation. Only then can we give gifts of ourselves as an act of will in union with our love. We automatically think of service in marriage, of swiping the toilet and sorting his socks and cooperating with him in the mundane business of daily living.
But self-donation is possible outside of marriage.