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So I always carry a kazoo. Marshall, fortysomething, is a longtime Studio City-based author, motivational speaker and humor consultant. The institute is dedicated to the proposition that all things are not created serious. Show me where it says life has to be serious. She began the Humor Institute in as an umbrella organization for her various pursuits. Although it boasts a distinguished board of directors, including John Cleese and Larry King they lent their names but do not actively participate , the institute is largely a one-woman band--a fancy way of allowing Marshall to pursue her various projects with greater clout.

She has a partner--Joyce Dove in Florida, who handles the business end of things--and she uses three consultants. But it is Marshall who makes the institute run. Barbara Bush? Their reactions? Awards are sometimes thrown into the fan letter bag, according to Marshall. This year, Marshall did receive a call from an assistant to Costner acknowledging the award.

Yet this does not daunt her; indeed, nothing much seems to. The woman is, after all, a survivor of breast cancer. In that case, why should he be bothered further? Why should he add one to the tedious complications of existence by meeting the bride he never desired? Is it not sufficient that, by his complaisance, she should have gained the rank and title of a queen?

Besides, he may be in love with another woman. Or perhaps—but who can tell?

He may have twenty reasons. And anyhow, you cannot deny to the situation the merit of being highly ridiculous.

THE CONFIDANTE

A husband and wife who are not personally acquainted! It is a delicious commentary upon the whole system of marriages by proxy. You confirm my notion that your King is original. It is perfectly certain that the Queen will be revenged. Trust a young, high-spirited, and handsome woman, outraged by her husband, to know how to avenge herself. Oh, some day he will see.

Rick Moody

She is no fool, and she will not rest until she has achieved it. Oh, he will see! But I am honestly indignant with the King. I trust you will not consider it an impertinence if I say that I already count you among the few people I have met whose good opinion is a matter to be coveted. She had risen while he was speaking, and now she bobbed him a little curtsey.

You have the air of a man who is rolling something pleasant under his tongue, something sweet and secret: it might be a hope, it might be a recollection. Where have you passed the afternoon? By Jove, you set me thinking. She spent her whole time picking flaws in the character of the King.

She talked downright treason. She said he was the scandal of Europe and the frankest egotist in two hemispheres. And there are depths of promise in her eyes; there are worlds of humour and of passion. And she has a mouth—oh, of a fulness, of a softness, of a warmth!

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And a chin, and a throat, and hands! And then, her voice. The day and the night, the seasons and the years, the fair weather and the foul, breakfast and luncheon and dinner—all are damnable iterations. But as long as one is alive, one must do something. Why not, then, a love-adventure with a woman that attracts you?

Our resemblance is intrinsic, fundamental; our differences are accidental and skin deep. We are as like to one another as the leaves on the same tree. Skin us, and save for your fat the most skilled anatomist could never distinguish you from me.

Comedies and Errors, by Henry Harland

Women are a pack of samenesses; but, hang it all, one has got to make the best of a monotonous universe. And this particular woman, with her red hair and her eyes, strikes me as attractive. She has some fire in her composition, some fire and flavour. Anyhow, she attracts me; and—I think I shall try my luck.

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Have you forgotten that you are a married man? I can make love to her with a clear conscience. If I were single, she might, justifiably enough, form matrimonial expectations for herself.


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A nd then, for what seemed to him an eternity, he never once encountered her. Morning and afternoon, day after day, he roamed the park of Bellefontaine from end to end, in all directions, but never once caught sight of so much as the flutter of her garments. And the result was that he began to grow seriously sentimental. He remembered her shining eyes now as not merely whimsical and ardent, but as pensive, appealing, tender; he remembered her face as a face seen in starlight, ethereal and mystic; and her voice as low music far away. He recalled their last meeting as a treasure he had possessed and lost; he blamed himself for the frivolity of his talk and manner, and for the ineffectual impression of him this must have left upon her.

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Perpetually thinking of her, he was perpetually sighing, perpetually suffering strange, sudden, half painful, half delicious commotions in the tissues of his heart. Every morning he rose with a replenished fund of hope: this day at last would produce her. Every night he went to bed pitying himself as bankrupt of hope. And all the while, though he pined to talk of her, a curious bashfulness withheld him; so that, between him and Hilary, for quite a fortnight she was not mentioned.

It was Hilary who broke the silence. She has completely vanished. But this woman is different. To touch her hand—to look into those eyes of hers—to hear her speak to me! But she has totally disappeared, and I can do nothing to recover her without betraying my identity; and that would spoil everything. I want her to love me for myself, believing me to be a plain man, like you or anybody. If she knew who I am, how could I ever be sure? It will do you no end of good; it will make a man of you—a plain man, like me or anybody. But your impatience is not reasoned.