A Solitary Sorrow: Finding Healing & Wholeness after Abortion (Women/Inspirational)

A Solitary Sorrow: Finding Healing & Wholeness after Abortion [Teri Reisser, Dr. Paul and a physician who have counseled hundreds of post-abortive women.
Table of contents

Cynthia, a counselor, speaker, mom, and wife, takes us on a personal journey as she shares her own personal story, as well as stories of others who have found themselves caught in the trap of shame. Cynthia doesn't just offer stories, but practical help through spiritual, emotional and tangible steps that take you from guilt, pain or emotional conflict to freedom. This book is a keeper as it contains a timeless message that will help all who want to start fresh and see themselves as they truly were meant to be. This is the only publication to list, all in one place, all the major statistically significant studies on abortion.

This newly revised third edition has been updated with listings for recent studies and reoganized for easier reference. Discover Your Spiritual Gifts - C. Do Not Lose Hope: Alba House January ; ISBN Number ; This concise book is a series of eight reflections on the real-life experiences of women who have had abortions. This enlightening book clarifies the concern of the Catholic Church for the humiliation and pain of so many women who desperately need to be understood, pardoned and given a chance to repair the hurt they have caused and of which they themselves are often the first victims.

The book will inspire post-abortive women to witness to the lie of abortion in order to usher in the new culture of life. Do Not Lose Hope would also be a thoughtful gift for your parish priest, who would benefit from a deeper understanding of women seeking reconciliation after abortion.

Highly recommended for those on both sides of the abortion debate. Haworth Press, Inc, 10 Alice St. Eve Kushner does an excellent job of weaving together the stories of an incredibly diverse group of women. You will surely encounter a voice that you can relate to somehere in the pages.

She covers so many aspects of abortion that simply don't get discussed. If you or someone you know is going to or has experienced an abortion, this is a good starting point for them. Tyndale House; Publishers, Inc. The Unspoken Pain of Abortion - Dr. Written specifically to help women struggling with the pain of surviving an abortion, Forbidden Grief is highly recommended reading as an open, emotional, and serious work that seeks to help women heal from psychological and emotional post-abortion trauma.

New Creation Ministries; Forgiveness is a Choice: Strategies and Skills - Jacobs, E. Group facilitation and group processing Group Counseling 3rd edition - New York: Holt, Rinehart, Winston See "Mistakes of Group Practitioners", p. Samantha Ronayne returns to her hometown. Much to her dismay, the resident minister is none other than the man she left behind, Aaron Eagle.

Samantha and Aaron share a bitter secret that no one else knows about and that has them at odds immediately. Samantha aborted Aaron's baby without telling him she was pregnant. Now, years later, Samantha is a recovering alcoholic dealing with the reality of post-abortive stress. She is sorry for the choice she made and knows that while God forgives her, Aaron might not. It doesn't take long for Aaron to realize that he still has feelings for Samantha, and it is in those feelings that he finds that there is healing in forgiveness. Written for the aborted woman as well as family, friends and counselors.

A thorough, well documented and compassionate resource.

Product details

Her Choice to Heal: Gives clear, detailed descriptions of the national and international studies of forgiveness and validated forgiveness measures. It is essential reading for those who think that abortion is a solution to unplanned pregnancy and for those who would counsel the growing sisterhood of permanently scarred women - reveals the hidden horror of abortion and the healing help that is available.

Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse: Men and Abortion - by C. Essence Publishing, 44 Moira St. It is based on research carried out by the author in which a program for post-abortion men was developed, tested, and found to be effective. The book focuses on specific problems which may be experienced by post-abortion men including anger, helplessness, guilt, relationship problems, and grief.

The steps of the healing process are described in terms of each of these problems. While the book was written primarily for post-abortion men, their families, friends, and those who counsel them may also find it to be useful. Mommy, Please Don't Cry: Serene illustrations frame gentle words that describe heaven from a child's perspective. With room for the reader's personal reflections at the end of the book, every page is a poignant gift of hope and healing.

And yet, there is hope for our troubled souls. It begins with the story of a young girl's abortion trauma and her inability to cope. It clarifies why abortion is a secret sorrow, harder for teens, and what happens when the emotions surrounding the abortion are buried. The symptoms of post-abortion syndrome are discussed.

By bringing the young woman through the grief process, she is lead to forgiveness, hope and joy. A chapter on how abortion affects young fathers is included. Medical, emotional, and spritual reasons for avoiding a rapid repeat pregnancy are spelled out and secondary virginity is introduced.


  • Dark Obsession.
  • A Behaviorist Looks at Form Recognition;
  • ;
  • Customers who bought this item also bought!
  • The Left Palm: And Other Halloween Tales of the Supernatural.
  • A Solitary Sorrow - Teri K. Reisser - Google Книги.

Helpful resources are listed. On the Threshold of Hope: Sexual abuse and sexual abuse recovery. Harry Dresden's Love Slave rated it liked it Apr 30, Terry Young rated it liked it Jun 28, Wendy Beutel rated it really liked it Jan 24, Teresa marked it as to-read Mar 11, Jenn marked it as to-read Apr 11, Mandi marked it as to-read May 31, Courtney marked it as to-read Dec 21, Prolifestl added it Aug 07, Rachel Auil-de Ocampo marked it as to-read Aug 22, Erlin Kurniawati marked it as to-read Jan 05, Victoria Haddock marked it as to-read Mar 06, I went through an abortion while I was married.

When I went through with it, I was the only one that had complications and after I had a lot unforgiveness towards myself for doing it because I wrong for taking a life. God has already forgiven you, forgive yourself. Pray for your husband because this will cause you to be murderer.

Once the baby has been conceived it is human living on the inside of you. Go to God in prayer and watch Him move on your behalf. Oh and by the way: I got my college degree when we had four children. I went to college while I was pregnant, and gave birth in the middle of the semester. I was out of class for a week, and aced my courses. You can do it, too.

Trust me when I say you will regret having an abortion. As David mentioned, your uncertainty leads me to believe that abortion will only bring you more problems in your life and marriage. I went along with my husbands desire for an abortion and have regretted the decision for many years. I not only lost my child, but my marriage did not survive either.

I am praying for you. You have three children. Your youngest is totally dependent on you for your protection. When your husband insists on you having an abortion, he is abusing you. Please protect your baby. Just tell him you have decided to have your baby, and it is a final decision. If he brings it up again, just walk out of the room. If he follows you, tell him not to follow you and walk out of the room again. If he continues to follow you, walk outside.

Eventually he will give up. You can also ask him why he wants you to kill his baby. As for finances, been there, done that. While our seven children were growing up, we had many periods of time when there was no income at all. The total time was six years. Our children never went hungry.

They never went without having clothes to wear, or shelter. You can, too, especially since there is so much help available. I am so sorry about the arguments you two are having. I do not know if you know Jesus Christ but I believe He really is the Son of God and really does love us and is really with us in our suffering! I hope you will ask Him to reveal Himself to you and to guide you. I will ask Him too to hold you, comfort you and give you strength to do what is right. I ask Him to bring peace to your husbands heart and to help him see that the little unborn baby is his little boy or girl and that there is no more powerful thing in the world than love!

Love can overcome even the greatest challenges and love makes life worth living, even when it is difficult. I love you and will pray for you! The law is very simple — the decision is yours and yours alone. If he loves you, he will accept it. Apparently to most men, the bay is not real until it can be felt moving — he will come round in time if you just stand your ground.


  • No Pissing in the Pool (of Consciousness).
  • So Sensitive (Hard to Get).
  • The Perfect Prey: The fall of ABN Amro, or: what went wrong in the banking industry.
  • Dry.
  • Help & Healing | After Abortion;
  • The Cost and Benefits of Moving to the ICD-10 Code Sets!

We currently have a 2 year old and he has a 5 yr old from a previous relationship. Having an abortion will not make your lives easier. It may look that way, but it is clear that you are personally at higher risk of significant emotional problems from an abortion if you went through with it. Please read our page regarding the known risk factors , from statistically validated medical studies, which predict which women will have the most problems.

Put a check mark next to each risk factor that applies to you. You should then also review the summaries of the emotional problems associated with abortion, the impact on physical health including later pregnancies , and on your longevity. Please trust that things will work out. The overwhelming number of women who have been in your situation who persevered and had the baby are glad they did.

A year from now, much less ten years from now, you and your husband will never regret your child and will be so glad you turned away from having an abortion. But the opposite will be true if you have an abortion. Please visit the pregnancy help page to find links: If you are outside the U. Yes you are in a tough spot, with you being in college, being a mommy and now pregnant again. It is sad how many abortions are done because other people whom you trust think abortion is the answer to the crisis. Your husband means well and is sincere, but one can be sincerely wrong.

There are safe, confidential, resources where you can reach out for help. You can call toll free numbers like: You can visit http: These centers provide counseling, diapers, maternity and baby clothes, toys, ultrasounds of your baby, education on prenatal development, parenting classes, referrals to doctors, clinics, financial assistance, and much more. Hi, Up in the Air. I want to encourage you to let your baby live.

Your baby has only you to protect him or her right now. I agree with Liz that your husband will come around and will adore his child when he actually sees the baby. Having an abortion because your husband wants you to will likely create such deep hurt and resentment that it will forever negatively impact your marriage.

Be strong, for your whole family. I will keep you in my prayers. I pray that His grace will be sufficient for you to make the morally correct decision. I know it is difficult, but sometimes the difficult decisions that inconvenience us are the decisions that are prompted out of love and self-sacrifice, as we do the right thing. Such are the inspiring stories we read about — when people do the correct thing, despite difficulty and hardship. I will continue to pray for you and your husband. It must indeed be difficult. Please also pray to Jesus yourself and trust in Him and ask for His help.

I have over 30 years experience in counseling women and girls in unplanned pregnancies. I also counsel those who have had abortions. My experience with post abortive is that they do not do the things they had the abortion to do. They drop out of school, lose their jobs because depression leads to absenteeism and their relationships with existing children deteriorate. I have a personal experience with my 2nd husband.

I had teen-aged daughters from my first marriage and found I was pregnant at He wanted me to abort. Now, he absolutely worships his daughter. One woman I counseled had four abortions because her husband threatened to leave her if she did not. He left her anyway. Do not do it. You cannot go wrong doing the right thing. You can leave your contact info at this web site and I will contact you if you wish. There is a reason why you are struggling with this. In your heart you know it is a wrong choice. Have faith and trust that you will have provision for this child.

If your relationship is struggling then please find a place to worship foot the support that you need. I had an abortion 38 yrs ago due to financial concerns ha d two children 16 mos apart and 3rd one would have been 15 months later. Immediately after procedure I knew it was a mistake but it was too late. We had another planned pregnancy 6 months later. God provided my husband with a promotion that would have provided for us two months after the abortion.

It took years to find a heart to forgive my husband for not standing with me at the time of the 3rd pregnancy. Seek counsel and keep this precious life. You will forever regret it if you term your pregnancy. Praying for you and your husband. May God bless your household and your marriage.

A Solitary Sorrow: Finding Healing & Wholeness After Abortion

May the Father come before all the things on the earth. May you find that He is working in you to bring change into your lives. I have just heard about your new baby on the way. I can see that you are extremely conflicted and the pressures seem almost insurmountable — but they are not actually. You have considered only two options it seems — your husband believes abortion is the way and you seem to naturally want to give life to your new little one. If raising another baby would be too difficult right now — have you thought about adoption? Your little family will not become stretched financially but you baby will have a wonderful chance at life.

No one decision will be easy but at least this one will have a great outcome for your baby without stressing your family now and without the harm of abortion touching you all. I would suggest contacting churches and pro-life groups who may be in touch with pregnancy help centers, post-abortion healing ministries. Many Catholic dioceses have contacts with post-abortion ministries. My search results indicate that the contact info for the diocese in Mthatha is nolanthurston gmail.

Perhaps they can help you find a local resource. I wish I could offer more. God loves you and wants yo to find healing. Here is a link to their web site: You can email them to ask about retreats or to get support through email. The Ramah International web site http: Even if they are not located near you they may be able to offer help by phone or email, or put you in touch with someone in your area.

Alternatives Pregnancy Crisis Center Contact: Dear Woman of Faith-Yes, a woman of faith, if you that conflicted about this decision, you have faith and it will get you through. May the lord give you peace as you decide , and know that he will always provide for his children. This is my regretful story.

I felt confused rejected lonely the only motivation if any where my kids. It was a one night thing and we each went our own ways after that. We started dating and a month later I find out that I had conceived. I was happy with the news and thought he would be happy as well I told him I was pregnant his reaction was not what I had expected he said to me what are you going to do? And he then questioned if it was his child? I then realized that I once again had to face the fact of rising my unborn child by my own.

Help & Healing

I was very scared to face this alone after all I have been thru with my Marriage and then the thought of how my teenage children would take this news along with all others who knew me puzzled me. The happiness I felt turned into confusion specially when I even questioned who the actual father of my child was?

I went to the clinic to get a pregnancy test to confirm that the test I took at home was correct and indeed It was positive they said are you planning on continuing full term or do you want to terminate it? I Knew that I wanted to continue with my pregnancy but the remorse that I might be lying to my bf had me puzzled. Nor did I wanted to lie to my child who his father was. I feel deep inside of me that it was my bf who I conceived a child with. I had a conversation with the other guy to clear my mind out and he said to me that he felt embarrassed because of what had happened that night between us, referring to that he had been drinking.

He remembered not having an erection which was true. I was eight weeks along when I decided to get an abortion. But it was too late. I had already done the abortion thinking that I had lost him as well. My bf asked me how far I was and I lied to him making him think that it was a false alarm about my pregnancy. I did this because I felt ashamed of myself. I sometimes wish I were dead, but I know my children need me.

I hate myself for killing my innocent child. If I should tell him the truth? Ending my relationship will only lead me to depression which I feel I already have. I have lost not only my child but the spirit to move on with life. Our relationship is way much better now as each day goes by he has mentioned to me that he would like to have a child with me. Please call one of the hotline numbers listed on our resource page for post-abortion healing options. You need to talk to someone who has been through the same things you are going through.

It will help to talk to another woman who has already been through the healing process. That will strengthen your hope and resolve to help you through your own healing. Eventually, you will need to share the truth of your abortion with your boyfriend. He needs to know how your heart is aching. He will understand why you hid the truth out of shame. It might be even most ideal for the two of you to go through a post-abortion healing program together. Hi Sabrina, many women and men still struggle for a long time after losing a child.

See a Problem?

You are not alone in this. Please know that there are people who want to listen and help if you need it. If you have undergone an abortion, I would really encourage you to reach out to one of the groups listed in the resource section on this page. They offer free and confidential support and counseling. Consider just calling or emailing one of the groups to talk with someone and see where you might go from there. It may help just to read through some of the stories on their site and see how others have coped: I had an abortion in October. Mine I felt very pressured, for the guy I was seeing was married.

We had a very I thought great relationship for a year. He said he was leaving and even spoke about marriage. When I got pregnant, he immediately almost shut me out, and eventually kind of came around. However, that hurt me so much because he was all I had for a whole year. He was also my boss. He told me for weeks to have an abirtion, it was best for out situation. He said he wanted to have kids with me, but not like this. It was also twins. I am 34 and I would have loved to have them. I also have a 7 year old son. Now I have lost my job, I suffer from severe depression, and worse of all I am detached from my son.

I also look completely different, which makese not want to go anywhere. Which, sucks, cause I know that would help so much. But I feel embarrassed. Also everyone found out- so I feel I am constantly judged. When he is like the only one I can speak to- everyone else tells me I am selfish and should be grateful for what I have.

I am — but I am so distraught from the devastation this has caused in my life. I feel abandoned and I feel like I am bad at everything. When before this, I was very confident. I have a new job, and I hate it. I even wrecked my car. Hi Sara, thank you for sharing your story here. I hope you were able to read this page and find some helpful information. Please consider contacting one of the resources listed above for help. There are people available who want to listen, talk to and support you without judgement — just help. Anything you tell them will be confidential and the support is free.

Although it can be hard to take that first step, please reach out for your own sake and that of your son. Things are dark now but they can get better with help. Joanne, I am so sorry for your pain. Please know that you are not alone. If you are visiting this page I hope you have read it through and found the information at the bottom to different organizations that offer support.

Even if you are nervous about contacting them, please do so. It may seem hopeless right now but things can get better. Please reach out for help. Have you tried calling one of the hotlines yet? If not, please do. There are women who have been exactly where you are who want to help you. There is a lot of understanding and support out there for you. Just have the patience and courage to find it. You are in our prayers. Do not give up hope. All is not lost. You will one day see your child in the arms of Christ. And in the meantime, God will use this experience of your broken heart to remake you into a better person, one who understands and has mercy on others and can reach out to help them, just as these other healed women want to help you.

Remember, God loves a humble and contrite heart Psalm Please accept it, and the help of those who have already been there and found it. I have read the commentaries on this website with great emotion. All my life I dreamt of having a child and I tried very hard to get pregnant which I finally did at age The problem was however that I was sick — in a depression and the depression and anxiety got much, much worse with the pregnancy and I developed physical problems as well.

I was more or less abadoned by the specialist doctors who provided no advice. I could not eat, drink or sleep for weeks. I felt suicidal- like throwing myself out the window because the anxiety was so bad — near psychotic. Finally it seemed to me and to my family that I was dying and that I would be incapable of carrying the pregnancy through to term, so my GP organized for me to have an abortion at 10 weeks. It was totally horrible and I wished afterwards that I had just let myself die. But I am traumatized 9 years later, I can only think of how old my child would be even though I honestly believe I would not have survived the pregnancy I am also anorexic… I have continually looked for information on the web, but find nothing for people having gone through an abortion for MEDICAL reasons.

Although initially my health improved after the abortion because I could take medication, I have been in a deep depression ever since, taking loads of drugs, being hospitalized and recently undergoing electro convulsive therapy. Seeing pregnant women and young mothers is terrible for me and I cannot bond with children. I just want to hide. I feel my abortion was inevitable given the state I was in my doctor even thought that I was to weak to undergo the anesthesia needed for the surgical abortion , but at the same time I am utterly miserable. Can you advise me?

Aleksandra, I am so sorry for this very difficult experience and the pain you must be feeling. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers, and that God loves you and is close to you in your pain. I do not know anything about help groups in the Czech Republic, but I did some searching online and found found a list of pregnancy centers that likely also offer such help. The list is here: Also, is there anyone you can trust, such as a priest, pastor, family member or close friend to talk with you? Your local Roman Catholic diocese probably has someone who would be able to advise you even if you are not Catholic.

Aleksandra, you might also want to check out these pages where you can get support and encouragement through email. I feel desperate right now I have had my first abortion when I was 16, I did not want to disappoint my parents so I chose abortion, I ended the relationship with that boyfriend, I felt no regret and I felt relieve after I did it and I was able to move on after that I had 2 children with my current partner after that I became pregnant 3 more times in which I chose to have abortion on 2 of them and 1 miscarriage..

I feel like if there is no way out of my pain and I will always stay like this. I really love my current partner and I want to stay with him despite everything we have been going through. I wonder if is still too early to go and look for help. Andrea, it is never too early or too late to seek help if you are struggling.

Healing can take time, but with the right support things can get better. Please consider contacting one of the organizations listed on this page and talking with them about what you are experiencing. Many of them have been where you are now and they want to help! Please know that you are not alone and that things can get better. I had an abortion in June this year.

I am a single mom of two kids. I am an alcoholic. When I found out I was pregnant I was sleeping with one guy regularly and another guy once in awhile, and I really had no way of knowing which one of them was the father. That is the single most important factor that made me choose abortion. BUT I was drinking heavily and working at a dental office where we routinely use nitrous, which is also not good for a pregnant woman to be around.

I was devastated, I had never been a person to have more than one sexual partner but I was going through a promiscuous stage after finally leaving my kids dad and the long term abusive relationship of nine horrific years. It makes me sick to look back at my decisions and the way I have been acting. I feel angry all the time, my kids really annoy me, and I feel very guilty. The guy that paid for the abortion and drove me to the clinic and stood by me quit speaking to me a week later.

I never heard from him again. I called and texted, no response. That part really really hurts a lot. I told my sister, but she was and still is pregnant …and there is no one else that I really want to tell. So I feel like isolated and alone and I wish this guy would talk to me but i also feel guilty because he paid for the abortion and it might not even have been his baby. I feel like a dishonest, immoral person. I cry literally all the time. Please know that no matter how hard things are right now, it can get better. You are not alone in your experiences and struggles.

I hope you have read through this page and will contact one of the groups listed for support. It might be hard to do at first but they really want to be there for you. Many have been where you are and want to help other women who are struggling. At the very least they can provide a listening ear and some encouragement before you go into your treatment program, and be there for you afterward.

I was coerced into it by my mother and father and the babies father and I went along with what everyone else wanted and did not stand up for myself. I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose and hid this too for years along with the horrendous feelings of guilt of having the terminations. I was put on a contraception injection before leaving the hospital, which I stayed on for 22 years so as to avoid ever getting pregnant again and feeling the same pain. I am 41 now and know that I will never have a child and I feel horrific inside.

I have abused substances ever since the first abortion and I have had 7 attempts at taking my own life, the most recent one being a year ago. I have been looking at Rachels vineyards online and am considering attending one although I do not expect it to take away the damage and self hatred which is ingrained in me. I cannot go on like this for the rest of my life. I cannot hold down proper relationships and cannot bear to be around my friends when they fall pregnant and I lose them due to this reaction.

I am stone cold and empty inside and although the substance abuse seemed to fill this for years I have stopped taking drugs and self harming but the feelings are as raw as the day I first became a murderer. Can anyone advise me otherwise, has anyone on this site ever been to one of these retreats or know of anyone who healed from this? I have so many regrets and I wish to get rid of the constant turmoil inside.

Thanks in advance — Sharon.

A Solitary Sorrow: Finding Healing & Wholeness After Abortion by Teri Reisser

Sharon, I am so sorry about what you have been through. I am sure they would be willing to answer any questions you might have and talk with you about the process. But having a chance to talk about your experiences in a supportive environment and getting some tools to help you work through the pain can be a beginning. I hope this might be of help.

I had to go thru it 4yrs back ,because of financial and unsupportive husband. We were very young , and my husband freaked out and we took a decision. Our struggle times ended Now I am blessed with a beautiful child last year. Thank you so much for commenting here with your story.

I hope the information on this page is helpful. As mentioned above, there are many different kinds of groups and kinds of help available. So feel free to ask lots of questions and try different organizations until you find one that you are comfortable with. Any information you share with them will be confidential. In most cases, the support is free. Some of the groups are run by women who struggled after abortion and want to help others; other groups are run by counselors or mental health professionals.

All of them want to help and be there to support you. Wishing I can have my baby back. My heart really hurts idk what to do? My partner is acting like nothing is wrong when I try to talk about it he quickly changes the subject. I feel so alone I regret it so much I just want my baby back inside of me. I understand and am sorry for all you are going through right now. For many men, their own way of dealing with it compels them to avoid thinking and talking about it. It may be harder on him than you think.

Can you imagine ever telling her? Or to put it another way, are you really prepared to keep it a secret forever? Secrets between people can harm relationships, and can be very stressful. Do you think your mother can pull it off? Even if you tell your mother, and your partner becomes a wonderful support, you should still do this. You need the support not only of loved ones, who may often not know how to be truly helpful but can at least be loving, you need the support of someone trained in post-abortion healing.

Thank you for your words, I feel a bit better just knowing that someone, somewhere, has heard my voice and can show me empathy and compassion. I have told my sister how I feel, how sorry I am and how I wish I could turn back time. I will look for counselling and therapy for both myself and my sister who is still in very dark place. Thank you for the work you are doing, thank you for caring. This website has been a great help to me. Thank you again for your reply and for hearing me.