Seven Habits of Successful Doubles

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is a self- improvement book. It is written on Covey's belief that the way we see the.
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Or do you think you don't have enough maturity to maintain relationships?

And I can continue the list. No matter what ever may be your problem, I bet you'll find a solution in this book. I'm not exaggerating facts. Begin with the end in mind 3. Put first things first 4. Seek first to understand and then to be understood 6. Sharpen the saw The 7 habits are intelligently framed so as to lift a person from dependent stage to independent and then to interdependent. I don't want to explain in detail about all the habits because a "trailer" should lure you into watching it, but it should not summarise the whole movie. I feel the essence of this book is lost if I summarise the facts.

You'll feel like "Oh! There's nothing more worthy to read in the book. The concept of character ethic and personality ethic. The principles or laws are excellent. They are the foundation on which this book is written. A broad definition of success. Making us use our four 'unique human endowments' in solving our problems and even while reading this book. Covey says that he found startling contrast between the self help literature before 20th century and after 20th century. He found that the literature before 20th century concentrated more on the "character ethic" or the base or the roots or the person's character or the private victory.

In contrast the literature after 20th century concentrated more on the "personality ethic" or manipulation tricks or the leaves or public victory or communication skills or quick fixes or bandaids. Personality ethic may be required but serving character through personality ethic is unacceptable.

7 Things I Learned From The “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”

It doesn't really help. It is like trying to reach a destination in India using maps of America. He says you may be a really positive thinker and you say to yourself "well we are going to reach the correct destination". You will not reach because obviously MAPS are incorrect. But even if you don't reach your destination, you may feel ok because of your so-called "positive thinking". But that problem is that ultimately you don't reach your destination.

There are, what covey calls, natural laws or principles that govern us. We have to live in accordance with them. Exp- When you love someone unconditionally you encourage their natural growth process and give them strength. If you attach conditions to that love, the other person wants to prove that he matters as a person independent of you. You put him in a reactive state. Covey stresses that success in one area doesn't mean success in other areas too, as we live in an interdependent reality. If success in one area is enough you would probably isolate yourself from the society and work on it.

He further gives what really success is. Human beings posses four unique human endowments namely: Even the most intelligent animals possess none of these. The person producing results is called production P and the ability of that person to produce results is called production capability PC. If you concentrate more on P, you will get sick and be unfit for PC or if you concentrate too much on PC you will get no work done. This book is not something which tells you that "do this and suddenly a light will shine upon you and take you into Or do this and something miracle happens and save you bla bla bla ".

When Covey say something he means it. He follows it throughout the book. When your son doesn't agree with what you said, you get him into your way of thinking through threatening or some other thing because you are smarter, stronger and probably you think you are RIGHT. And what about the feelings of your son? Convey says there you stand at the centre of the debris of a shattered relationship, your son being outwardly submissive and inwardly suppressing feelings that would later come in uglier ways.

Instead if you ask your son what his problem is and work on a solution wouldn't it be nice? What is right in any given situation? Because if you and somebody are in a conflict and if something you think is right to you, it maybe wrong for the other person and vice versa. Here we have to go for win-win solution. Don't read this book in one go. The first pages till habit 1 starting is somewhat boring for beginners.

Don't feel your money is wasted after reading few pages. Trust those universal principles. Repeat reading this book as many times as possible and I bet every time you will discover something new.


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The principles are highly practical that you may start applying them from day-1 itself. When i was reading this book, i could hardly wait for a week because each habit filled me with energy and curiosity for further habits to come. Several positive things happened in my life after I started applying these principles. I became friend with my enemies. I got new friends. Started being much more mature in my relations. Started taking academics seriously.


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Just to give you an example, one of my old friends with whom I had a falling out, later being friends again after 2 years said "You know you have changed a lot! If you have any problem in life, the book is worth reading because you are worth it!

7 Habits of Highly Effective People [Book Summary]

See the problems in your life. You have no ill intention towards anyone or anything. You try to be as perfect as possible. Inspite of all this, you will have problems. We should, however, place a strong importance on our personal advancement and prioritise the tasks that contribute to our mission, values and goals above all others. Effective people make an effort to stay out of quadrant 3 and 4.

They also shrink their tasks in quadrant 1 and focus all of their attention on quadrant 2. We should do it, too! We will need to refuse to deal with the majority of tasks in quadrants 3 and 4 and select only the most important tasks to do from quadrant 1. That is, if we know that something will need to be done at some point in the future — we should start by preparing in advance quadrant 2 rather than leave it till it becomes urgent quadrant 1. This is more of a promise to ourselves. A promise that we will do our best in achieving our goals, because we respect ourselves and because we know we can.

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What side do you want to be in? Effective people always think win-win. In other words, effective people have an abundance mentality — the belief that there is enough for everyone. Regular people tend to have a scarcity mentality. We feel as if we must always compete with each other in order to win or at least not to lose.

For this reason, our decisions are based on a belief that there is not enough for everyone and if we are not quick enough to grab something — someone else will. Effective successful people view life as a cooperative arena rather than competitive.

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They understand that they should always thrive to find out how to achieve mutual benefit and satisfaction. They believe that all parties can win by achieving their personal expectations if they find the way to make their collaboration mutually beneficial. In the win-win agreements, the following things should be crystal clear: What is the desired result from both parties,.

How will the results be accomplished,. What resources will need to be used,. What will be the standards of performance, and. What will be the consequences good or bad as a result of the evaluation. He suggests that our personal mission statement should also add our desire to follow abundance mentality as it will encourage us to seek win-win situations at all times. The thing is, when we are being run by a scarcity mentality — we believe that there is not enough for everyone and that we must compete with others, which affects us in various negative ways.

But if we make a decision to follow an abundance mentality, it will open new possibilities, options and alternatives. It will be easier to win together and share profits, prestige and recognition. Win-win can only survive in organisations and amongst people who support it fully.

If you say that you want win-win, but then do everything so you would get more value than the next person — then you will never experience the success that win-win gives. It may happen because you or the next person expect too much form certain collaborations. This is when you both decide not to move further.

As it turns out, effective communication is the most important skill to perfect both in our personal lives and in our professional careers. However, we not only need to know how to talk to people effectively or get our point across in writing but also be able to listen. Listen well enough so we would understand exactly what the person we are listening to is really trying to tell us. Stephen argues that the majority of people give priority to being understood rather than understanding those they are talking to.

According to him, we, as regular listeners, are only able to respond in four ways: We try to catch some keywords to get enough data to craft a response without really understanding the real meaning behind the words. And the worst thing of all? We always filter the words and expressions we hear through our own personal life experiences and frames of reference while the person might be coming from an entirely different space! So how can we go to the next level and become really good listeners?

Stephen suggests learning emphatic listening — the skill to listen with our ears, eyes and heart. We should practise to not only register, reflect and understand the words being used, but listen for feeling and meaning.

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Emphatic listening can give us more accurate data to work with. When people feel that they are truly being listened to and accepted for what they say, it makes them more willing to share more information and open up more layers. For this reason, we can discover tremendous differences in perception. When we truly try to understand others — we open the doors for creative solutions and alternatives that otherwise might never cross our minds.

According to Covey, one must be increasingly educating the conscience in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has sold more than 25 million copies in 40 languages worldwide, and the audio version has sold 1.

President Bill Clinton invited Covey to Camp David to counsel him on how to integrate the book into his presidency. Covey coined the idea of abundance mentality or abundance mindset , a concept in which a person believes there are enough resources and successes to share with others. He contrasts it with the scarcity mindset i.

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Individuals with an abundance mentality reject the notion of zero-sum games and are able to celebrate the success of others rather than feel threatened by it. Since this book's publishing, a number of books appearing in the business press have discussed the idea. Organizations may also apply an abundance mentality when doing business. This version simplifies the 7 Habits for younger readers so they can better understand them. A Guide for Teens. This guide highlights key times in the life of a teen and gives advice on how to deal with them.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Retrieved 17 July