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by Brigham Young University Women's Conference. BYU Women's Conference important spiritual pattern—of simple and small things. prayers, common experiences working together, gospel conversations, tragedies and triumphs.
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This painting, by Carl Bloch, is called Christus Consolator. I love to look at each individual who seeks consolation from Christ. You can see the troubles of mortality on their faces. These are they who know they cannot do it alone. Bloch described the joy we can take in adversity when we know it brings us to Christ.

I think then that I have so much to thank God for, and it would be foolish to demand that one should be happy in this life. By that I mean always sparkling, always seeing the ideal under the light sky. Her life has many facets: church service, full-time work, devotion to family, neighborliness, church callings. She is smart and funny and faithful. And, like all of us in mortality, she confronts heart-rending challenges—the greatest of which has to do with her family.


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As her children matured, some of them began to choose different paths. She witnessed them making choices that she knew would lead to unhappiness, and she was heartbroken—even frantic. She went over and over her parenting decisions of the past and was filled with guilt. Maybe this was all her fault. She found herself anxious and fearful—wondering what she could say and how and when she could say it so that the errant child would see the light and return.

To say she felt tormented and out of control would be accurate. And she prayed. My, did she pray! One afternoon in fast meeting, she listened to a friend she admired describe how she had been troubled with a particular problem with one of her children and had determined to go to the temple once a week. The friend then testified in gratitude that after many months her prayers had been answered, and the problem had been miraculously solved. Jane was touched, she came home, kept praying, and felt inclined to make a personally ambitious yearly goal of temple attendance.

She felt sure that the Lord would honor such a significant personal sacrifice. Now I am going to interrupt our story here to point out some of the things we have talked about. Jane had faith. She understood her relationship to her Father in Heaven. She exhibited humility, an understanding that she needed divine help. And she made an individual personal choice to pray. Continuing to pray, Jane acted on the promptings she received to attend the temple more often. Now let me continue with her story.

And then there was a pause. I am a different woman. I am filled with compassion. I can actually do more and am free of my fear, anxiety, guilt, blame, and dread. I have given up my time limits and am able to wait on the Lord. He sends tender mercies, small messages that acknowledge his love for me and my children. My expectations have changed.

Instead of expecting my children to change, I expect these frequent tender mercies and am full of gratitude for them. I can do and say things that I could never do or say before. My children are respectful of my temple devotion.

By Small and Simple Things: Talks From the 2011 BYU Women's Conference

They are sweet and supportive of me, as is my husband. He and I are cemented together by these difficulties rather than blaming and pulling apart. Our marriage has never been more joyful. My ability to appreciate and enjoy the good things of my life is heightened. I am simply more present. I express more love and am more thankful. I pray to be equal to the tasks before me. I pray for an increase of charity and patience and faith. I am grateful for the trials that led me here. The Lord works in marvelous ways, and I truly am filled with the peace that passeth all understanding.

Prayer and temple attendance are not dramatic, sensational, or one-time activities. But repeated over and over, year after year, they are small and simple things by which great things come to pass. In fact, this gradual process of change seems to be the way the Lord often works with us.

I find the word consecration intriguing. And in turn, he can consecrate our experiences—sanctify them, make them holy—no matter how difficult, foolish, or destructive. All things shall be for our good? How does that work?! When I listened to Jane, I felt how the Lord had consecrated her difficulties with her children to the eternal welfare of her soul. I thought I could see before my very eyes someone who had prayed with all the energy of her heart and who had been filled with pure charity—a gift bestowed freely on all true followers of Christ.

How could this not also be helpful to her children? Nephi talks about his prayers for his people. Think of Jane and her prayers for her children. Think of yourself and your prayers for those you love.

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And I know that the Lord will consecrate my prayers for the gain of my people. Like Jane, we often add fasting, temple worship, and priesthood blessings to our prayers as we importune the Lord in times of exceptional need. And one of the great outcomes of effective prayer is that through it my will and the will of the Father become one and the same.

And why would that not be so?

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Faith coupled with pure charity—the love we extend when we pray, fast, and add names to temple rolls—makes a difference. It unifies us with one another. It unifies us with the Lord. Sister Julie Beck encourages us as Relief Society sisters to pray. Praying for one another brings strength. It knits our hearts together in unity and love. Sometimes answers to prayer are quite clear—simple and direct. But often prayer becomes a long and personal conversation.