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Jul 7, - Social Media Ethics: Let's help each other better present my own work to people so that we can help each other grow, remain as relevant and productive as they might be in the real world. Plot Factory is an online story planner that lets writers plan, organize and create stories & fictional universes.
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But, ultimately, not knowing how to let go has no real benefit — it only holds you back from achieving your true potential. Remember that nasty thing someone did to you years ago? That keeps you from going to that family gathering or from having an extraordinary relationship.

Storytelling That Moves People

Those memories justify everything for you. To focus your energy on living positively and proactively, you need to learn how to let go. One of the most difficult things for most people to let go of are relationships. Are you ready to change your story and let go of relationships that no longer serve you? So, what is your story?

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Your story is what you tell yourself to justify your decisions. Your parents argued in front of you all the time and eventually divorced. You use this past experience to justify your current life state — even though your current state is actually a choice you make. When the facts are terrible or heartbreaking, it is human nature to blame someone else or a past incident instead of ourselves.

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This is why you blame your significant other at the end of a relationship or another person for something terrible that happened to you. Letting go of a relationship can be one of the most difficult things you will do in life, but you cannot let bad experiences dictate your future. Instead, use your experiences as a tool to push you to learn and grow so you can create a healthy relationship with someone else. Not letting go of a relationship that has run its course only has negative effects on you — it has no effect on the person you blame. The energy it takes to stoke and maintain the fire of blame prevents you from moving on and connecting with others.

The BK41 was practically open 24 hours a day during July and August. Two volunteers moved into the back part of the place and slept there. They spent their evenings and often their nights by taking stock and preparing the daily inventory, determining what we needed to ask for the next day.


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The place was packed so full during the day that we could not move anything around to organize things. Some eatables, e. Although volunteers worked very hard to keep up with the inventory, we often had to buy things very quickly when we ran out of something vital. We tried to use various methods for taking stock, but at the end of each day we rarely had enough time and energy to do it properly.

After a while we worked out a system of daily managers. Each of the regular, trustworthy volunteers took responsibility for a whole day when they were in charge of operations. They supervised the work of volunteers, accepted donations, tried to cover sudden needs by asking for help and organized the distribution of the food. They had to make sure that the place was cleaned thoroughly at the end of the day, the necessary preparations were done for the next day and they had to write a detailed report about the results, challenges and lessons of the day and post it on Facebook.

We created a separate operative Facebook group for daily managers where strategic decisions were made.

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Google sheets were used where volunteers could sign up for morning or afternoon duty indicating how many hours they could stay. Later we created positions for chefs and shift managers of meal distribution, as well. Unfortunately, the Google sheets were not used by all volunteers, and sometimes one person had to stand in for a whole team.

Usually it worked. In the beginning volunteers could join in any time, but later we tried to encourage people to sign up for duty beforehand and we started registering volunteers.

Let’s Help This Marriage Grow!

They had to fill out a form stating their name, age, experience, when they were free, what languages they spoke, what tasks they would be willing to do and how they could be reached. After initial registration they only had to sign a timesheet each day and they received a numbered badge with our logo. Unfortunately all these precautions were not enough to keep out crooks. A Hungarian woman from Szeged, who claimed to be Muslim, worked enough to become one of the leaders of the group.

She spent almost all her time in BK41 and for a time was one of the key figures. Later she helped less and less and we only met her at the Keleti Railway Station. She was very kind and helpful and was trusted by all of us. Her small lies were not noticed for a long time. Eventually it turned out that she was in connection with human smugglers and had one of our well-meaning regular helpers involved in shady business. When we started suspecting her dealings some members of our group expected our leader to take action, others urged us to report her to the police. This led to the first major conflict inside the group and some people decided to leave us.

Although we warned the leaders of Migration Aid, the crook managed to continue her work with them. Later we learned that she even claimed to be a physician for a time, then she stole a car. In the end the owner of the car reported her to the police. The refugees who spoke English were often asked to participate in our activities.

Fortunately this did not happen and none of them abused their position. They helped us by arranging the refugees into queues during the distribution of meals and conveying information to the others e. Often they acted as interpreters. Such a helper was Aziz, the Afghani youngster who spent more than a month in Budapest.

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He came to help us every day and even saved the life of a Hungarian homeless man who accidentally cut his own arteries in a drunken rage at BK41 and almost bled to death. As two photographers were present at the incident and they made photos, the story was posted on Facebook and immediately turned Aziz into a media star. Dozens of reporters wanted to interview him and while at the beginning he was willing to answer their questions, eventually he got fed up and just wanted to continue his quiet work as a helper.

In the beginning of September one of our volunteers took him to Vienna by car, taking a considerable risk as he could have been accused of human smuggling. Our volunteer chose to ignore the regulations as the Hungarian state violated all international conventions repeatedly. The Croatian—Hungarian border was closed on 15 September and refugees disappeared from Budapest in a few days. They had to walk a few kilometres from the railway station to reach Austria.


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  • This was a serious challenge for our group. The school year started on 1 September and several of our volunteers teachers and parents became too busy.

    Gossip: How to Protect Yourself and Others

    Others just grew tired of working continuously. Donations still arrived in large quantities, but we had to ask for them more often. We decided to keep helping by transporting food and bottles of water to Hegyeshalom. This required much more organization and we had to rearrange our working structure.

    We started preparing food packages by the thousands and transported these to the border. We asked our supporters to donate petrol cards, but we could not collect enough to make the journey every day. Trains arrived irregularly, usually during the night or very early in the morning.

    Only a few of our volunteers could help us in these circumstances. The Hungarian Red Cross was also present at the railway station of Hegyeshalom, but we had very bad experiences with them. They had little equipment, but they wanted to control all the volunteers. Food packages were made by 4—5 volunteers daily, and approximately 20 people worked regularly. Work was no longer as intense as during the summer months and personal conflicts became more pronounced among the members.

    We planned new projects to help the needy, the poor in the countryside and other marginalized groups in Hungary. Eventually we could not agree on which projects to pursue and kept to the occasional cooking of hot meals and distributing rugs, clothes and roll mats to the needy of the neighbourhood. A month later the Hungarian state closed the Croatian—Hungarian border as well.

    The refugees had to take a new route through Slovenia to Austria. This led to an even deeper crisis among the volunteer organizations. We had to ask ourselves whether we should follow the refugees over our borders or concentrate on the refugees still living in camps in Hungary. We had to take into consideration that by that time most of the donations came from foreigners who wished to support our work with the refugees.

    After several unsuccessful attempts we finally managed to form a base in Dobova, Slovenia. The Slovenian army and the local Caritas were in charge of controlling the situation there and although they appreciated our help, we had to stick to their rules to be allowed to stay. We co-operated with other volunteer groups because we could not have provided enough help on our own. We tried to organize our volunteers to provide a continuous presence there. From time to time various personal conflicts arose with other volunteers due to ideological differences, e.

    We refused to participate in such actions. Some of them only wanted to help certain nationalities, not all the refugees. We refused. We kept collecting food donations in Budapest and when we had a significant amount we transported that to Dobova by car. Meanwhile those members who could not travel to Slovenia tried to start other projects that needed our enthusiasm and manpower. Together with a cultural and educational foundation we successfully applied for a grant from the Open Society Foundation and created a scholarship programme for Hungarian teenagers.

    The youngsters take part in minute-long seminars for 15 weeks with those members of our group who have teaching or training experience. They are taught the rudiments of voluntary work and they take part in activities every month. We prepare hot food together and involve them in its distribution to the needy. We also help families who live in a run-down block of flats without water, heating or electricity by providing them with food, gas cylinders and a generator.

    After a while we could not manage on the sole donation of commodities and giving up our earlier principles we were forced to accept money donations. I have become the treasurer and I collect the bills and accounts. How to Simple Choices.