Raising a Father: Memoirs of a dad, challenged by his daughter to live for todays special moments

A father's exhilarating and funny love letter to his daughter with Down Little did they know how ready Jillian was to meet their challenge. “An expressive, nostalgic series of memories of living life with a special needs . Paul Daugherty's latest book, An Uncomplicated Life: A Fathers Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter.
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Daugherty likes to refer to his daughter's activities as "the Jillian show. Daugherty offers a very poetic writing style. He's fond of using analogies and often stops to wax philosophical on the difference between being alive and living, the "fairness" of life, the nature of relationships, etc. Perhaps the main strength of his work is that he holds absolutely nothing back- we get the good, the bad, and the ugly. He doesn't try to sugarcoat the dismay he felt when he first found out his daughter wasn't "perfect.

Neither does he ever miss a chance to relate how desperately he loves his little girl, and how he would do anything for her. Well, if your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness, I think we have a fine case study here.

Treasuring the Precious Moments With Your Children

From the sheer intimacy of the book, I get the distinct impression that it was not written for its readers. As it draws to an end, and Daugherty deals with the bittersweetness of Jillian's growing independence, I begin to feel like I'm eavesdropping on something private.

There are lessons for those of us who are strangers to him as he makes statements about disability, and urges us to look past the differences in those around us and see the perfect human inside, but they almost seem incidental, perhaps even obligatory. I can't shake the feeling that he wrote this book for himself, maybe for Jillian as well, a therapeutic effort as he looks back on the last something years.

That's certainly not a bad thing. I don't fault him at all for wanting to relive his journey up to this point. Unfortunately, I ended up feeling isolated. Have you ever had an elderly relative who wanted to tell you about his late wife who died before you were born? I haven't, but you know, good analogy He's a great guy, you wish you could have known his wife, you certainly feel for his loss, and you know it'll do him good to talk about it But, well, couldn't he, you know, maybe cut a few details and get to the point?

Then of course you feel like a horrible human being for having such selfish thoughts, but the fact remains that you're having difficulty relating. If that all comes across as overly negative, allow me to backtrack a little- this is a well written book, funny, sincere as heck, and with a fair amount of emotion. But eventually, as the pages begin to rack up, the emotion begins to give way to a sense that I'm an outsider here.

Daugherty hopes that those of us peeping in will share in his pain and his joy. As one who never had the privilege of knowing Jillian, I find I can only observe. Perhaps I wasn't meant to do more. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Thanks for telling us about the problem.

Return to Book Page. Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. The day Jillian was born, Paul says, was the last bad day. Hardcover , pages. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about An Uncomplicated Life , please sign up. My son was born Oct 13 with down syndrome and after spending his first two months of life in the hospital he is finally getting ready to come home.

I would love to read this book and know from this fathers point of view about raising a special little bundle of joy with down syndrome. Is there other books out there? Some of them are more …more https: Some of them are more science behind books but many are fiction or non-fiction less. See 1 question about An Uncomplicated Life….

Lists with This Book. Nov 19, Debbie "DJ" rated it it was ok Shelves: Won through GR first-reads, thank you. When I received this book I wondered why I had entered a giveaway about a father and daughter relationship, as my own is so lacking.


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Then I realized the authors daughter has Down Syndrome. I have met many folks with this syndrome, and found them to be the most loving, joyous, and live-in-the-moment people around.

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It is a shame that I found a memoir such as this lacking in depth and heart-felt connection. The author, Paul Daugherty, is a sports columnist. In t Won through GR first-reads, thank you. In this memoir, he clearly states that his marriage is the perfect mix, he likes to work, his wife, to nurture. In fact, he didn't bother to show for his first child's birth, he was busy working at a sporting event. While much is spoken of God, and how God has given them their life's work, I felt an "oh brother" escape my lips. This book chronicles the life of their second child, Jillian, born with Down Syndrome.

Daugherty describes the physical and emotional struggles of his daughter, the pain of "fitting in," and the cruelty of others. He also rejoices in Jillian's triumphs, her many achievements, graduating from high school, and finding a love of her own. The writing is somewhat pedestrian, but I can see this being an enjoyable book for mainstream readers.

In fact, I plan to give this to my conservative mother, who I imagine liking it very much. View all 12 comments. Mar 19, Melinda rated it liked it Shelves: Such an uplifting and inspirational story. Paul Daugherty shares an intimate reminiscing of his daughter Jillian from birth to present.

An entire family playing a vital role in raising Jillian and offering opportunities capable of allowing her independence while in a positive loving environment. Wonderful read all will enjoy, Jillian is a memorable young woman along with the entire Daugherty clan. A gem exploring parenting and life in general, with a variety of messages, a story encompassing much. Sep 09, Leslie rated it really liked it.

9 Books Celebrating Dads of All Styles — Articles — Foreword Reviews

So glad my teacher made us read this book. Dec 14, Travis rated it liked it. I received this book for free in a giveaway from Goodreads First Reads. Quite frankly, all I want to know is Disclaimer: Nov 18, Kathy rated it it was ok Shelves: I received an advanced copy of this book from The Reading Room in exchange for an honest opinion. This is a father's memoir of the joys and challenges of raising a child with special needs. In this case, his daughter has Down's syndrome.

The author shares it all, good, bad, joys, sorrows, with honesty. As a grandparent of a child with special needs, I can easily relate to how the parents felt when they learned their child was not "normal", and over time, learned that they had to be constant advoc I received an advanced copy of this book from The Reading Room in exchange for an honest opinion. As a grandparent of a child with special needs, I can easily relate to how the parents felt when they learned their child was not "normal", and over time, learned that they had to be constant advocates for their child, in every situation.

It is a never-ending job! I have mixed feelings about this book. The author is a sports-writer, and it shows - there is no doubt of the author's love for his daughter, but the writing style is detached, a bit choppy, at times wordy, and very much like a report. Also, the book seems to be written for the author as a personal tool to remember his daughter's life, challenges and accomplishments, rather than for an outside reader.

While I can relate to what he was saying, he never made the reader feel part of it - I felt like an outsider through most of the book. Hard to explain what I mean.

9 Books Celebrating Dads of All Styles

Still, it was great to see all that Jillian was able to accomplish, and a reminder to not judge people based on appearances or labels, but on their character, actions and achievements. Because of my mixed feelings, I will leave it to each reader's judgement as to whether they would like to read this book. Dec 07, Mary Kenyon rated it really liked it.

I think this book should be given to every parent whose child is born with Down Syndrome and every teacher who works with them. It isn't a book about disabilities, but one about hope and "abilities," of parents helping their child reach her full potential. That said, for all his talk of God he even mentions a higher Heaven for animals , I wondered at his assertion that "virginity is quaint, damned near Victorian," when it came to his daughter's sexuality. These parents took their daughter to the doctor to get the pill and then arranged for her boyfriend to spend the night.

Then they asked about "it" the next morning. They insisted on treating their daughter like any other child Would they have "arranged" the same overnight for their son? I can't help but think that they encouraged their daughter to have sex before she was married, when she would have been fine waiting, with a different kind of encouragement. Daugherty, you expected so much from your daughter. You couldn't expect her to wait until she was married? Especially when you knew that marriage was coming?

And you have already decided there won't be any children resulting from the union of these two beautiful adults who live together? You and the young man's parents know that at "some undetermined time" you will have to sit down with them and explain "they wouldn't be having children. And yet, now it is YOU putting limits on her. I have to wonder, after learning so much about your determined daughter, if SHE might have something to say about that when the time comes. Jan 24, Shari Larsen rated it it was amazing Shelves: Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome, to parents with an overwhelming love for her.

They wanted the best for their daughter. While Jillian had special needs, they also wanted to her to have the chances that other so called "normal" children had. The refused to put her into special education, and fought for right to a mainstream education. They did not try to force her to be "like everybody else", rather, they just wanted her to have the same chances.

This memoir traces Jillian's journey Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome, to parents with an overwhelming love for her. This memoir traces Jillian's journey through birth, and on through to graduations from high school and college, and ends with Jillian working to support herself and engaged to Ryan, the love of her life. I really enjoyed Jillian's story, and her inspiring spirit. Everyone she met had their lives changed for the better because of knowing her.

I especially loved reading about some of her mischievous adventures during her childhood, and I was laughing WITH her and her parents, not AT her. I recommend this book not only to those who may have a family member or know someone with Down syndrome, but to anyone who likes who likes to read uplifting and inspiring stories. I won an advanced reader's copy of this book from TheReadingRoom.

View all 6 comments. Sep 27, Christine rated it it was amazing. I have a three year old with Ds. I live in the town just South of where Jillian was raised and I already look up to the Daughertys for paving the path for those of us who come after them. This book helps me keep a high bar for her and her achievements. I try not to think too far ahead and stay in the current goodness. Will my daughter have friends? Will we have to battle our school for her education? Will my husband and I have some sliver of freedom down the road?

Will my daughter have freedom? This book acts as our standards. It gives me a beacon of hope that my daughter will achieve everything Jillian has. Feb 22, Colleen Oakley rated it really liked it. I won this book as a First Reads giveaway! A great reminder that it's what's inside that counts.

Feb 25, Tiffany rated it it was ok Shelves: I wanted very much to like this book and enjoy an uplifting, "uncomplicated" story of a girl with Down syndrome, but never really connected emotionally with her. Instead the author made it complicated and more about himself then about his daughter, Jillian. I felt the author was dishonest, or at least unauthentic in his writing. At one point he writes about all the close minded people still in the world who categorize "these children" because of their Down syndrome and insists that his daughters I wanted very much to like this book and enjoy an uplifting, "uncomplicated" story of a girl with Down syndrome, but never really connected emotionally with her.

At one point he writes about all the close minded people still in the world who categorize "these children" because of their Down syndrome and insists that his daughters goodness and gifts are not because of Down syndrome. In the very next chapter he writes pages about how chromosome 47 is the reason for her compassion and kindness--"nothing defines her more. He wants her to be a full participant in a regular classroom, but then insists that her work be modified, is sad when she has no social connections because she has no Down syndrome peers, and insists the school send her to extra-curricular tutoring.

For all his insisting that no one has the right to define or restrict Jillian or her goals based on their own preconceived notions, it comes across that all of his fighting about her education, etc. He admits several times in the book that he really just wanted to "win" what HE had preconceived in his mind was best for her. I addition, for all his shaming of others for making generalizing statements, he sure makes a lot. One example which is just kind of funny, but shows his narrow view of the world: I got a goldfish for my kid for Christmas and she loved it and it was a dream come true.

Finally, his position on God is very confusing. At some points in the book he is crediting God for giving them this purpose and direction in their lives and he knows it is all for a good reason. At other points he describes being confused and skeptical when his mother brings up the subject of God having a hand in all of this. Maybe he is just trying to please everyone in his writing. Regardless, I concluded my reading with the feeling that the author isn't really sure what to believe about most things he addressed in this book--except that his daughter, Jillian, is a lovely, kind and joyous person who adds to everyone's life around her.


  • Daughter’s loving but unsettling portrait of Leonard Bernstein.
  • An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter.
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  • An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter by Paul Daugherty.
  • Treasuring the Precious Moments With Your Children.
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Mar 10, Marlene rated it it was amazing. Every expectant parent wishes for a healthy baby. But what do you do when, after nine months of anticipation, you find out that your baby has Down syndrome? First you panic, then you blame God. Once you pull yourself together and realize that this is not a punishment but a blessing, you make a plan. A plan to give your child the best possible life. They refused to allo Every expectant parent wishes for a healthy baby.

Throughout, you will see the power of love and what one can do when given the proper tools. You will feel the happiness and pure joy that Jillian brings to not only her family, but everyone she encounters. As a parent to a special needs child, and an advocate for the special needs population, this book spoke volumes to me. I could relate to much of what the family has gone through. For them to be happy and live productive lives?

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Thank you, Paul, for sharing Jillian with us. She truly is an exceptional person! Sweet without being saccharine. I love Jillian's feistiness. I think the title is a bit of a misnomer. Jillian's view of the world may be uncomplicated, but her life is complicated. Or maybe what created the foundation of her life is complicated.

This isn't exactly "warts and all" like Raising My Rainbow is. I can't believe that there aren't more moments of frustration and defeat or times when Kelly Jillian's brother didn't want things to be different. Maybe those were withheld for privacy rea Sweet without being saccharine. As always, Foreword Reviews is celebrating by reading great indie books.

Below are nine wonderful reads to give to your dad on his honorary day. Man in the Moon: Essays on Fathers and Fatherhood is a compilation of work already published in literary journals and publications. Every entry—each exploring the relationship between fathers and children—is equally strong, and picking the best is a fruitless endeavor.

Humor, sincerity, and a variety of experiences reveal the bond between father and kin. Misadventures of a Parenting Yogi: What do you get when you cross an economist with a new dad? Joshua Gans and his comical observations on the functions of parenting. Gans turns his professional eye toward the personal experience of raising children and invites other parents to see habits and relationships from a different perspective.

Less a manual than a memoir by a man unafraid of laughing at himself Parentonomics is a great distraction for moms and dads navigating complicated negotiations with their children. Prodigal Father, Wayward Son: A Roadmap to Reconciliation , an autobiographical conversation exploring fatherhood and the quest to become a man.


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  • The Confessions, The Soliloquies, The City of God (With Active Table of Contents)?
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Twenty-Four Women Writers Remember Their Fathers , selected and presented by novelist Margaret McMullan, is a heartfelt, honest look at the father-daughter relationship.