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Fergie - Love Is Pain

Sometimes, the object of their love may even be someone that they do not know. For example, they may believe that they have a nonexistent relationship with a celebrity. Some delusions may be so extreme that they cause the person to engage in stalking, abuse, or violent behavior. Erotomania also involves symptoms of paranoia.

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One case study argues that social media can make erotomania worse. This is because it allows people with obsessive tendencies to observe others from a distance, and to feel closer to them than they might otherwise feel. Learn more about erotomania here. People with borderline personality disorder may intensely fear abandonment and have trouble managing their emotions.

Why Can Love Be So Painful? 6 Ways to Heal and Move On

For example, their emotions may appear disproportionate to the situation, and they may obsess over their relationships. They often view things in black and white terms, alternating between seeing a person as completely good or completely evil. This can cause them to try to control others or manipulate partners into remaining in the relationship. People with this disorder may not have a consistent identity or sense of self.

This can worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may struggle to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships. A person's ability to form healthful attachments with others begins early in childhood. People whose parents or caregivers were unstable or abusive may develop abnormal patterns of attachment.


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This can cause them to become obsessive, controlling, or fearful in their relationships. People with insecure or reactive attachment styles may feel preoccupied by fears of loss. They may feel unable to cope without a relationship and be willing to do anything to keep their partner. Sometimes, insecure attachment keeps a person in an abusive relationship because they fear loss. In other cases, it may cause a person to become abusive in a desperate attempt to keep a partner. Some people are so afraid of abandonment that they develop obsessive tendencies. This may stem from an attachment disorder or emerge after a trauma.

For example, a person whose spouse died may be terrified of losing their current partner. This could result in them taking unusual or unhealthful measures to "protect" them. A wide range of mental health conditions can distort or alter a person's perspective, making them more fearful, obsessive, or depressed. This can increase their risk of becoming obsessed with their relationship. For example, a person with depression may believe that they are unworthy and alone, or that the only worthwhile aspect of their life is their relationship.

This can cause obsessive feelings or behavior. Learn more about the different types of personality disorder here. Some social and cultural norms demand more of one partner than the other. This could mean that some parents and caregivers expose their children to these unhealthful relationship styles during their upbringing.

For example, being exposed to various relationship "norms" during childhood might cause some people to grow up believing that love means ownership, or that their partner must do everything they want to prove their love. These thinking patterns are one hallmark of "toxic masculinity. Those who display signs of toxic masculinity may also be controlling, demand more of their partners than they are willing to give, or abuse partners who break their "rules.

The symptoms of obsessive love vary depending on the reason for the obsession. For instance, a person with a delusional disorder may experience altered reality or demonstrate unusual behavior, while a person with depression may have low self-esteem or experience suicidal thoughts. A mental health professional may decide that a person's relationship is obsessive based on the symptoms they exhibit and whether or not they negatively affect the person's life.

The role of touch in regulating inter-partner physiological coupling during empathy for pain

There are no specific diagnostic criteria for obsessive love. Because obsessive love is often a sign of another mental health condition, a healthcare professional may ask questions about a person's mental health history. They may also recommend psychological or medical testing to rule out other causes, especially if the person demonstrates delusional behavior. Treatment for obsessive love focuses on identifying the cause of the obsessive thoughts and feelings, then treating that cause. For example, a person with schizophrenia may need medication to control delusions and negative thoughts.

Treatments for delusional disorders tend to involve medication as well as psychosocial psychiatric interventions, such as family therapy or helping the individual replace negative delusions with positive thinking patterns. For most people, therapy is key in managing obsessive feelings and developing healthier relationships. A therapist can often help with untangling a history of trauma, managing underlying conditions, and establishing more healthful relationship norms.

In the early stages of treatment, individual therapy is best, especially if the relationship is abusive. If each person in the relationship is able to establish better boundaries individually, couples counseling may then help them work together and move past the obsessive love. Some people wonder how long it takes to overcome obsessive love. However, there is no set time. It is a psychological and very individual experience that depends on many things, from the level of the obsessive love to the underlying condition that could be causing it.

If the above strategies do not work, there may be a more serious underlying issue, and seeing a mental health professional may be a good idea. Also, people with obsessive love may not see their behavior as problematic. They might instead view the object of their affection as insufficiently loving or loyal, believing them to be the problem. This can mean that the person experiencing feelings of obsessive love may find it difficult to seek treatment. People who struggle to let go of relationships or who feel very insecure in a relationship should consider the possibility that their love is obsessive and try to seek treatment.

Obsessive love may be a sign of a serious mental health condition, and if it goes untreated, it can destroy friendships and relationships. It could also lead to other serious mental health concerns. If obsessive love causes someone to pursue a relationship with someone who is not interested, it could even lead to legal difficulties or violence. It is possible to treat the mental health conditions and other causes that can lead to obsessive love, especially with adequate support. However, this is only possible if the person with feelings of obsessive love feels able to seek help and support.

Some signs of emotional abuse include controlling, shaming, blaming, and purposely humiliating another person.

He has never been abusive or physically The hardest thing I'll ever do Is let go of you And look forward instead of back at my past, I wonder how long this broken heart will last. How foolish I was for letting him come back into my life.

Obsessive love disorder: Symptoms and treatment

I have been with him for half a year, and everything was going well till we started losing connection. I made promises to him like, I thought it was a dream; I thought it wasn't real, But pain really hurts and it's really how I feel. Memories keep coming back, and so do all of the tears. I hear your voice, and as quick as the smile came, it quickly disappears. Do not take that loser back. This pain is taking its toll, But my love it never gets old. The trials and defeated emotions Keeping me sane with magical potions. I'm I got my first crush in 3rd grade. I still like him.


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A lot. Over the years I've liked other people too, but never nearly as much as him. My friends have gone through similar things You broke my heart in two And took me like a bet. With all you put me through, I have so many regrets. I am in the same situation. We used to sit together during school days, and gradually I developed feelings for him. I stayed Pain, pain go away! Please do not come back another day. Tears falling down my face. Oh, how I wish for his warm embrace. Pain, pain, so much pain. So much trouble in this world.

How can someone ever feel my pain? Broken but will continue to be spoken, reaching for a hand while sinking in quicksand. So much Through all the storms and struggles- All the fights and tussles, All the disrespect, and abuse, My love was always true. Sounds just like me during the roughest times I've had yet.