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As he grew into a young man, he had tons of friends, the girls loved him and he had an active social life. Teachers and classmates remembered Joe for his never-ending smile and his caring nature. If you were down, he would lift you up.

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That was before the enemy called mental illness stole away his happiness, even the twinkle in his eye. He nearly died after falling from a trestle and busting his mandible in 10 places. In critical condition for several days, he had his jaw wired shut for eight weeks. Then, a painful, nasty infection developed. He took a leave of absence from school and then sank into a deep depression. Concerned with his appearance and the scars from the fall, he turned to alcohol.

In subsequent counseling, he was diagnosed not only with alcoholism, but with bipolar disorder.

Through a glass darkly: How Catholics struggle with mental illness | U.S. Catholic magazine

Over the years, diagnoses went from bipolar to schizoaffective disorder to full-blown paranoid schizophrenia. Joe was hearing and responding to voices that he could not silence. EMTs found him wandering the streets and took him to a hospital. Once, on a whim, he headed for California to visit his sister. When his car broke down, he continued on foot without regard for his own safety or any care of where he had left his vehicle. It was heartbreaking for our family to see Joe this way. The night before Joe died, we sensed that he was scared to be alone in his apartment.

We asked him to stay with us, hoping it would give him some comfort. Morning came and Karol and Joe went for a walk in the park. When they returned, my other son, John Paul, came over and we enjoyed a wonderful brunch together. I can still see where Joe was sitting, directly across from me.

After eating, Joe watched baseball on TV with his dad. An hour later, I realized Joe had left for his apartment, or so I thought. How would I get up in the morning? Would I ever feel whole again? Would I ever know joy after losing one of my children? But in the depths of my heart, I knew that God would carry me through somehow. In the weeks and months that followed, God worked many miracles.

One morning, I was curled up in a chair in the fetal position. The doorbell rang. She told me that her prayer shawl group was knitting blankets for cancer patients, but that God had spoken to her heart. She believed that the shawl she was making was meant for me. I was overwhelmed with this gift. About a week later, my friends Ken and Gretchen Wagner visited, bringing a wood carving Ken had created of two cardinals. He told me that the cardinal is a sign from heaven that your loved one is nearby.

Not long afterward, cardinals started appearing regularly. To enter a valid marriage, a person must have some basic knowledge i. A necessary element of that knowledge is to know that marriage is a permanent partnership between a man and a woman. If a person truly has no knowledge that marriage is such a partnership, because of tragic or extremely dysfunctional circumstances in his or her personal or family background, this ground may apply.

Did either you or your former spouse come from a family background where there were many divorces, separations, or live-in relationships? Did either of you have the experience of growing up in several households, whether among relatives or foster parents? Did either of you grow up in an institution, such as an orphanage? If so, can you say that there was never a role model for a happy or healthy marriage?

Can you say that either you or your former spouse did not know when you married that marriage is a permanent partnership? Were either of you reared in an environment that was extremely sheltered to an unhealthy degree? Were there any cultural factors that influenced your knowledge of what marriage was all about?

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Were either of you surprised or shocked after marriage by what marriage was all about? Did you separate or divorce quickly after discovering what marriage was all about? A necessary element of that knowledge is to know that marriage by its nature involves openness to children by means of sexual cooperation between the spouses. Although such ignorance is not presumed in persons beyond the age of puberty, this ground may be considered if one or both spouses were truly ignorant of this fact.

Were either you or your former spouse extremely young when you began dating the other?

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If so, was this dating relationship the only one before marriage? Did either of you come from a family background where there was no discussion at all of sexuality? Did either of you enter marriage with absolutely no understanding of human sexuality and sexual intercourse? Were either of you reared in an environment that was extremely sheltered or sexually repressed to an unhealthy degree?

Were there any cultural factors that influenced your knowledge of human sexuality and sexual relations? Were either of you surprised or shocked after marriage to learn about sexuality or sexual relations? Did you separate early in the marriage because of an unwillingness to engage in sexual relations? To enter a valid marriage, one must know the person he or she is marrying. In other words, marital consent is exchanged with a specific man or woman and it is essential to have true knowledge of who that person is.

If one spouse made a substantial error in judgment concerning the true identity of the intended spouse, or in other words married the wrong person, this ground could be considered. The error in question is not about details of personality or behavior, but a serious error about the identity of the other spouse. Use of this ground is extremely rare in this country and culture. Was your marriage arranged by someone else? Did you meet your former spouse for the first time at the ceremony or shortly after?

Was your courtship at a distance? Did you actually spend very little time together, alone, before marriage? Was your intended spouse not the person you thought you were marrying? Did you discover after marriage that the person you married was not, in fact, the person you intended to marry? Did you react with shock or surprise when the error was discovered? Did you separate immediately afterward, or did your marital relationship change immediately afterward?

To enter a valid marriage, one must know the essential qualities of the person he or she is marrying. If, at the time of marriage, one spouse was mistaken about a quality directly and principally intended in the other spouse almost as a condition for marriage then this ground could be considered. This ground might apply if you or your former spouse intended to marry someone who possessed a certain quality perhaps of a moral, social, physical, religious, psychological, or legal nature and the primary reason for entering this marriage was the belief that the intended spouse possessed that quality.

The intended quality must be of such a magnitude that without it, the person would not have married the other. Was there a certain quality or trait that either you or your former spouse were looking for in a prospective husband or wife for example, a certain social status, marital status, education, a certain profession, religious conviction, freedom from addiction or disease, freedom from an arrest record?

Did you or your former spouse consider that trait so important in a prospective spouse that you would marry only someone who possessed that trait? Would this marriage have been called off if the other person did not possess that quality? When it was learned that you or your former spouse did not possess that quality, did the other spouse react with shock or surprise? A person who enters marriage deceived by fraud, which is perpetrated to obtain the marital consent of the other person, marries invalidly.

Fraud is the intentional act of deception. If fraud or deceit took place in order to make marriage happen, this ground can be considered. Did you or your former spouse intentionally misrepresent or conceal information necessary for the other person to make a well-informed marital decision? Did someone else a parent, for example misrepresent or conceal information necessary for a well-informed marital decision? If the truth had been known, and the deception not carried out, would the marriage not have occurred?

If the deceit was later discovered, did it have an immediate effect on the marriage? Did the separation or divorce occur because of this? For marriage to be valid, both spouses must know that absolute faithfulness to one another is part of the nature of marriage. If one or both spouses entered marriage with an erroneous belief that infidelity, polygamy, or polyandry was possible, this ground could be considered.

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This belief must have been firmly held, or in other words, marriage could not be conceived of in any other way than allowing for infidelity or multiple spouses or sexual partners. What invalidates the marriage is the error, present from the beginning, that marriage does not include the need for sexual fidelity. Adultery itself is not a ground for nullity. At the time of marriage, did either you or your former spouse believe that it was acceptable to have other sexual partners after marriage?