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If innocence is the first casualty of war, then free time is the first casualty of fatherhood. Even when kids are old enough to not require constant supervision, stealing away to test out the mattress springs is about as rare as sleeping in. Quickies have a weird rap. Sneaking away for 10 minutes to bang in a closet or bathroom is considered the exclusive territory of horny coeds, entirely too obvious couples at office holiday parties, and thinly drawn rom-com characters.
Tabletop Quickie
Here are some things to keep in mind. Despite the name, quickies take time. Voicing your turn-ons is necessary in any relationship. In the busy, often unsexy world of parenting, where kids, vomit, poo, and sobbing are regularly on the menu? The quickie is sex on the clock and always more fun in an impromptu place. Here, a few parents weigh in on their favorite locations.
Quickie (sex)
When we have the chance, we drive off somewhere and park for 15 minutes. Get those game faces on. If you know your partner likes a certain lick, squeeze, or finger just like that , do it. You might not have penetrative sex in multiple positions. But if you get your sexual priorities straight you can get the job done.
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Because the best get-laid plans are often like the best-laid plans, things will go wrong. Between the drinking, cheering, and shouting, no one will really notice if your man tries for second and makes it all the way home without striking out. And if you need more privacy, you can always opt for cheaper seats further away from the crowd. There is no greater turn-on than soaking up the summer sun at the beach!
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The ocean also offers just enough cover to make sure your public affair stays somewhat hidden. Concerts are great for quickies because they always have that anything-goes atmosphere. Some buses also have high backs and will shield you from curious onlookers. Halloween is an amazing holiday because it lets you role play in public.
Quickies - Quick Games on the App Store
After all, you do have a badge. The best part about knocking boots at this location is that role playing is a sinch—everyone else is sure to be dressed in their country best, so why not join the Wild West, little cowgirl, and find a strong stallion to ride on? Just sneaking in while your man is getting ready for work is sure to leave a giant smirk on both of your faces and sex on the brain all day. Turns out that Adam and Eve had the right idea. If you pick the right orchard, this seemingly innocent location will give you plenty of reasons to return besides slices of apple pie and cider donuts.
The best orchard for the deed will have rows and rows of trees protecting you from being found out too quickly.