“My Long Flirtation” takes the reader on a humorous adventure in a parallel world in the society and culture of Pakistan and India, a world that is both very similar.
Table of contents
- The Fearful and Wonderful Art of Flirting | Desiring God
- The Fearful and Wonderful Art of Flirting
- My Long Flirtation
- My Husband Flirts and Thinks It’s No Big Deal
He said one of the purposes of translating Zarguzasht was that in places like the US, literature which portrayed a negative image of Pakistan was being sold. So he thought there should be stuff to counter it. Also, the translation would encourage many to read the original version and would particularly be useful for the younger generation in the West. Dr Fatima Hasan shed light on the life and work of Musthaq Yousufi and read excerpts from Zarguzasht. Dear reader, online ads enable us to deliver the journalism you value.
Please support us by taking a moment to turn off Adblock on Dawn. He said a reputed English magazine once translated asli ghee as rancid butter. He added an act of smiling was a Sunnah as well. Muharram security to be strengthened. Most popular How the system failed us. Pakistan willing to open Afghan land route for India: He is flirting with disaster. When one notable pastor was caught in adultery allegedly with two different women , one of the women spoke out about the role of social media.
This pastor targeted certain women on Twitter. To some it looked harmless. He would often tweet song lyrics for me and other women. Social media normalizes voyeurism and makes it possible to stare at pictures of attractive people. She follows you on Twitter or Facebook, or she makes a kind comment. Her interest in you sparks in you a kind of curiosity in her images. You open her profile picture and study it. Your eyes linger on her profile longer than they should. You go to her Facebook or Instagram feed and you scroll for more images.
Maybe it begins with a follow back.
And then maybe a direct message, or a text, or an otherwise obscure comment in public, or even something more private. Soon enough, digital flirting leads to private conversations where you share your dreams and disappointments, your hopes and longings. She has a good vantage point because living the single life in the digital age quickly makes one an expert in picking up on e-flirting.
Single women, if you are part of a church and you think your pastor is acting in a way inappropriate with other women in the church, do not shrug this off, but ask questions privately.
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- My Husband Flirts and Thinks It’s No Big Deal.
I say this because single women are more expert in the methods of flirting than probably anyone, and by necessity. Apps like Tinder render a first move toward flirting as simple as touching an image and swiping right or left, to show interest or to ignore. On one hand, flirting in the digital age is unspeakably bold and disturbing.
On the other hand, flirting in the digital age has become incredibly subtle, now an extension of what can be read into what someone else clicks or likes or retweets. I asked pastor Matt Chandler: How has technology changed dating? For the better and worse, he said. First, between a man and woman who are serious about one another, technology is a hugely beneficial way to facilitate even long-distance relationships. Texts, used wisely, can create an incredibly deep and authentic way to communicate. But for two people not in a committed relationship, Facebook poses several challenges, Chandler said.
And so in that regard, when you have not established what the relationship is, I think it can be hurtful to constantly be involved in the technological realm, rather than the face-to-face realm. Chandler sees this trend in his church. But with every new social media platform and the ubiquity of smartphones, opportunities to connect are limitless, and the etiquette for digital flirting becomes more and more vague. To flirt is to tantalize others with your attention and to tease them with possibility, and that means flirting can become anything between the beautiful play of initial interest, foolish misleading of another, or even paving a path of sexual self-destruction.
Like all good gifts, we must flirt wisely. Blanket digital prohibitions are not the solution. In agreement with Samuel James , commanding married men and women to stop texting or Facebook-following or Instagram-liking each other is not a fix. We must learn to live and love among brothers and sisters, offline and online. This will magnify the heart issues for us to consider as we pursue purity before God. If you only know how to engage the opposite sex with flirtation, grow up.
That will always be a secondary issue. What you want is for him to stop paying attention to other women—to stop looking into their eyes, making them giggle or rubbernecking at their bikinis. The more you focus on trying to get him to stop flirting with other women, the more your husband will feel constricted, controlled and criticized. The more he feels that way, the greater his urge to be the master of his own destiny.
This is true of all control, not just control around flirting. When I tried to control him by making endless spreadsheets showing who was responsible for what housekeeping so he could see all the duties he was shirking , all I got was wall-to-wall hostility—not the gleaming bathroom and dust-free shelves I wanted. Granted, dodging the dusting is different than winking at women. The point is that trying to control my husband into doing things differently made things worse.
The Fearful and Wonderful Art of Flirting | Desiring God
I felt the need to draw the line recently when he wanted to save a limp houseplant that I wanted to throw out. Instead of expressing a desire, I decided to supervise this plant placement so that the backyard would not look messy. In my better moments, I choose my faith instead because I want to keep holding hands and laughing together.
And because I want to be my best self. The GOFL is always up for a good time, and I signal that by doing my happy dance around the house or saying how ridiculously happy I am.
Next, I make myself drop and do ten. He chose to marry me above everyone else, sleeps with me every night, makes love to me and only me, spends money on me, kisses me, sends flirty texts to me, has made himself beloved in my family, makes up silly songs every day about how cute I am, makes me laugh and makes me tea every morning.
I could go on, but ten are usually enough to calm me down so I can choose my faith by trusting him. I see him being true to me. When my husband looks into my eyes and sees that faith I have in him, he responds to me with pride in how loyal he is to me. That leaves me feeling special and gives me the inner strength that makes it easy to trust my husband. I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him.
The man who wooed me had returned. Hi I have the same priblem with my hubby but he meet the women and writes he knows i know but i am afraid we might splitt up. I admire you for having the vulnerability to reach out for support. The 6 Intimacy Skills gave me back his attention and affection so now our marriage is more playful and passionate than ever.
If I can turn things around, you can too! You can register for it at https: I wish I could trust my husband. I did twice and he kept saying it was nothing. I do not know how to get that trust back. Margaret, I hear how painful it must be to be at a loss of how to restore trust. I respect you for having such a strong commitment to your marriage and the vulnerability to come here for support. I used to be convinced that my husband was untrustworthy. If I can restore the trust, I know you can too! I find your article quite disturbing. Flirting is disrespectful, dishonoring and actually a form betrayal.
When a marry man gives another woman attention that belongs to his wife or receives the attention from another woman other than his wife, that is simply betrayal. One of my callings in life is to help women find their voice so they can be empowered to have good communication with their husbands. You gave no information on how to have healthy communication instead of what I read was to be silent.
Women do not have to be doormats nor controlling. Your advice is hurtful, not helpful.
I adore the hearts of both man and woman and giving a man passive permission to be inappropriate makes your marriage weaker not stronger! I do not condone such behavior. I love that we share the calling of empowering wives to have healthy communication. Recognizing all that my husband does for me helps me get in touch with the grateful, respectful kind of interaction I want to have with him.
Once again you are spot on Laura!
The Fearful and Wonderful Art of Flirting
I understand what Sue is saying, but I would describe the differences of your two approaches as the differences between a child and their parent, one where respect is demanded — leading to fear, begrudging compliance and unhappiness and one where respect is mutual and healthy — leading to mutual enjoyment and love!! I really admire your commitment to your relationship! I remember when biting my tongue or responding respectfully seemed impossible when my husband and I were arguing. Thankfully, the 6 Intimacy Skills provide many tools to be respectful and, ultimately, respected.
I want to empower you to get the respect you deserve too! You can register for free at https: Hi Laura, I think you just saved not only my marriage but my life. I think of my husband as my life, my air to breathe…. Until reading this blog…. My husband and I are always talking about evolution and nature. If you look at the animals behavior, you will see the male is dominant, not the female. So, its the human males nature to want to be dominant.
My Long Flirtation
I love your commitment to restoring the respect in your marriage. You are clearly a very intelligent animal! I invite you to my upcoming free Introductory Course on the 6 Intimacy Skills at https: Thanks for another great blog. My husband is a notorious flirt and DID cheat on me, but we have rebuilt the trust. I see that he has toned down the flirting in respect for my feeling, yet he does like a look now and again. I needed to hear what you had to say about controlling him. True words and great examples, Laura! This blog is Godsend to me, thank you for explaining things I actually already knew and was doing from your wise perspective.
I know I will be re reading this one often.
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I will definitely write a review. Love you Laura and everything you do for us women!!! Thanks for your positive and purposeful look on how to address a flirting husband.
My Husband Flirts and Thinks It’s No Big Deal
This is exactly what I teach the young women in my circle of influence. To be honest, I have a very sanguine husband who never meets a stranger and there are many times my jealousy is arroused when he is just talking to women. He is very engaging and I see how women respond to him. Love this article even if it is hard to do sometimes!
He may even be talking to another woman. Thank you for all your help. Carolyn, I hear how painful it is that your husband wants a divorce. Your awareness and commitment to working on yourself and saving your marriage are remarkable. I remember how lonely I felt when my husband used to avoid me. If I can turn my marriage around, I know you can too! I invite you to my free upcoming webinar: My fear when he acts inappropriate is caught by another woman ogling her, or is too attentive , is that SHE is laughing at me and thinks she could get my husband, and as a result would act more disrespectful and condescending toward me because we both know my husband finds her attractive.
Makes me want to slap him when other women get ego boosts at my expense, or people look at me in pity. Jennifer, that sounds humiliating. I know how committed you are to restoring the intimacy in your marriage and admire your dedication. I know that you can get the respect you deserve and feel cherished, desired and adored too.
I invite you to apply for a complimentary discovery call to see how working with a coach would fit for you so you can be treated like a queen! You can apply here: Thank you for your writings Laura. I have learned a lot!!!.