My Fathers Quest: The True Story of an Orphans Journey

My Father's Quest: The True Story of an Orphan's Journey. $ Carmen Corrales Konneker. Carmen was born in a small town in the State of Sonora, Mexico.
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But she also had troubling behaviors that no one understood, including mental health professionals. His search leads to a condition known as attachment disorder, an affliction common among children who have been abandoned, neglected or abused. Paperback , First , pages. Marin County, California United States. Kindle Book Award for Nonfiction To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about The Girl Behind the Door , please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about The Girl Behind the Door.

Lists with This Book. The Girl Behind the Door was doubly sad and heartbreaking. John Brooks and his wife Erika adopted a Polish orphan in the early s when she was around 10 months old. They renamed her Casey, and brought her to live an upper middle class life in the Bay Area in California.


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The book opens with Casey's suicide at the age of 17, when she jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Throughout the rest of this memoir, Brooks recounts their tumultuous life with Casey from the time they brought her home -- her The Girl Behind the Door was doubly sad and heartbreaking. Throughout the rest of this memoir, Brooks recounts their tumultuous life with Casey from the time they brought her home -- her intelligence, wicked wit, intense mood swings, tantrums, insecurity, inconsistent academic performance, sporadic drug use, etc They tried therapy, medication, imposing strict limits, punishments, being supportive -- but Casey's difficulties were persistent.

Erika and John felt a deep love and commitment for Casey, but they were often exasperated, tired, worn down, and self doubting. And then after another bad weekend -- but no worse than others in the past -- Casey jumped off the bridge. The book is doubly sad because following the retelling of the events leading to Casey's death, Brooks recounts his search to understand what happened and ultimately in large part he lays the blame at his and Erika's feet.

He realizes that they had never considered the effects of her early childhood, and he discovers a whole wealth of writing and expertise on the traumatic effects of early childhood in an orphanage and the resulting attachment disorder. More important than anything, he comes to feel that without this understanding, he and Erika did everything wrong -- that they should not have treated her like an ordinary misbehaving child but that they should have worked to reassure her over and over again that nothing she could do would lead them to abandon her.

I feel teary as I write this. To lose a child is the worse thing that can happen. To feel that there's something you could have done and should have done to prevent the loss is unimaginable. But Brooks seems to have written this memoir as part of the healing process, and in the hopes that other adoptive parents in his shoes will be better informed. Although dealing with a hugely painful topic, in the end this book is readable because Brooks is so straightforward and sincere in sharing his story.

This is a hard book to read, but it's definitely worthwhile. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an opportunity to read an advance copy. View all 24 comments. Feb 21, Paul rated it really liked it. This is a sad memoir of the belated discovery of attachment disorder among adopted children, and how the author, whose daughter jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to her death, found out about it. Although the author sometimes seems like Dagwood Bumstead in his inability to do simple things like hold a baby, the screeching relationship that he and his wife had with their developmentally delayed adopted Polish daughter sounds like pure hell.

Sadly, he didn't even come to know about attachment disor This is a sad memoir of the belated discovery of attachment disorder among adopted children, and how the author, whose daughter jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to her death, found out about it. Sadly, he didn't even come to know about attachment disorder until after his daughter's death.

It is a cautionary tale for adoptive parents to do more early research on foreign adoptions, especially of developmentally disabled children, before they actually undertake the process. Being the father of an adopted daughter myself, I can imagine how bad it could get and how lucky my wife and I were never to have any evidence of attachment disorder with our Korean daughter.

All she ever wanted was to be boss of herself, and she certainly is as an adult. This is a valuable book because it seems that there is little research done on attachment disorders, and this may provide an impetus for more to be done and for happier adoptions to be executed in the future. Sep 15, Beth Lind rated it it was amazing. This is a gut wrenching and painfully honest story of a family who realized too late that their adopted daughter likely suffered from attachment disorder. As parents, there is no one right answer and we all plod along trying our best, sometimes we get it right and sometimes we don't.

I think this book has the potential to change mindsets and practices of how we adopt children especially children adopted from orphanages. I couldn't put this book down and it is weighing heavy on my mind. John Brooks, I think what you and your wife did for Casey was amazing. I'm sorry you lost her but maybe your memoir will help others understand the confusing and devastating behaviors associated with attachment issues.

Thank you for sharing your story. Mar 12, Kate rated it really liked it. I'm also curious what percent of adoptees from regular adoptions not orphanages have a degree of attachment disorder. This is raw as hell. I've read books about far more harrowing experiences, but this grieving father exposes his heart and soul and his pain took my breath away.

I had a difficult time reading this and not being majorly bummed. John Brooks and his wife Erika adopt Casey from Poland in the early 90s. She is already over a year old and living in an orphanage. Although she has a reasonably normal childhood, she becomes out of control as a teenager. Interesting book in that it explores Attachment Dis This is raw as hell.

Interesting book in that it explores Attachment Disorder, heavily affecting children who went without a primary caregiver, which the author is now well aware of. He knew nothing about it prior to his daughter taking her life. This dad just broke my heart. He tried so hard to do everything right and it all went so very wrong. John and Erika Brooks experienced a parent's worst nightmare, when their seventeen-year-old daughter, Casey, jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge and took her own life.

He shares Casey's and their family's story so that others may benefit from the tragedy. This book is a candid telling of their story. Poignant and heartbreaking, and yet filled with love for his daughter. I wanted to read it because I have long been interested in how the experiences of childhood translate into who we are as adults.

And, how and why seemingly insignificant events can often stay with us our entire lives. I am richer for having read this book. Jan 09, Taylar Sphapmixay rated it it was amazing. It revolves around a mystery as to why their daughter committed suicide and explains the toxic relationship between child and parent. Casey left a note for her parents apologizing and saying that she was at the Golden Gate Bridge, where she jumped and killed herself.

After her father finds out that his daughter died, the novel flashbacks to the process of him and his wife, Erika, adopting Casey in a Polish Orphanage. Throughout the novel her father explains the events of his parenting experience and the growth of Casey. When she was a toddler she often had temper tantrums and her behavior was harmful to herself and her parents.

As she grew up these tantrums and fits became worst and frequent. Her parents constantly have to deal with this bad behavior and no matter what they do, whether that is punishing her or talking to her calmly, these tantrums never ended. Everyday in their household consisted of a battle between Casey and her parents. I give this book a five out of five stars.

John Brooks did an amazing job with the layout of the novel and the topic is something that I enjoy learning.

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The psychological meaning behind the story is very touching and deep which is what kept me engaged into it. Even though I have not experienced these events in the novel, I do enjoy learning about the human behavior and the therapeutic environment that the author provides me. When I get older I dream of caring for people with mental health and hopefully become a therapist, this book helps me understand why some people may behave in a certain way.

Once again, my predilection for bereavement memoirs has gotten me into trouble, as I am faced, again, with the task of digesting the tale of someone's loss and assigning it a numerical rating. However, I don't think I can do that with this book: I've mentioned this before on my Goodreads account, but for a couple of personal reasons I find myself inexor Once again, my predilection for bereavement memoirs has gotten me into trouble, as I am faced, again, with the task of digesting the tale of someone's loss and assigning it a numerical rating.

I've mentioned this before on my Goodreads account, but for a couple of personal reasons I find myself inexorably drawn to book about the process of grieving; books I've reviewed here before that fit into that genre are A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and Blue Nights. Granted, I did have hesitations with those books about how to evaluate their literary merit in light of the subject matter, but on a fundamental level, in books like that, people like Didion and Eggers are writers first and witnesses to their own personal tragedies second.

Yes, the telling of these tales is an act of catharsis - but, consciously or not, they both still try to produce a work with artistic merit: I was ultimately able to give those works ratings based on how the succeeded or failed in that regard. I love the promise of Jesus when he speaks of children. Let the children come to me. Anyone who does harm to a child, will deal with the Creator and to enter the kingdom of heaven, we must be like a child. Not immature but full of wonder and awe. Muse has done well. A complimentary review copy was provided to me by Innovo Publishing LLC I was not required to write a positive review.

The opinions I have expressed are my own Dec 09, Joan rated it really liked it. This is an encouraging story of abandonment and ultimate restoration through God. Lynnann's story is a nightmare. She and her siblings were subjected to their mother's overnight visitors while their father was in Viet Nam. His return did not change much as he left the marriage soon. Lynnann and her sister ended up in a children's home, twice. They finally went to a relatively good foster home but Lynnann was molested by a man from her school.

My Father's Quest: The True Story of an Orphan's Journey

She ran away, made poor choices, went through two mar This is an encouraging story of abandonment and ultimate restoration through God. She ran away, made poor choices, went through two marriages and cut off all communication to her family. She finally turned to God and began her healing. It was good to read about her restoration and reconciliation to her siblings.

This book is an encouragement to those who need healing from horrible childhood experiences. See my full review at http: I highly recommend this emotionally charged book to anyone.


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    6. I almost never read a book through without stopping, but I literally could not put it down. Every time I started to, a tense line forced me to continue on to see what would happen next. I felt I was there, sharing heartbreak and happiness with these children caught up in the aftermath of their parents' addiction. They walked bravely through many doors to discover both problems and help. I believe this book could help anyone who has ever I highly recommend this emotionally charged book to anyone. I believe this book could help anyone who has ever dealt with an addicted loved one or friend.

    I would like to see this book somehow made available to groups like AA and NA. Dec 13, JoJo Sutis rated it it was amazing Shelves: This is an emotional, powerful, soul-stirring read. As the author shares her real-life story, I experienced many emotions from anger to awe to hope. For me the story made me think of ways that I can get involved and help others who are living in difficult situations. It made me think about the power of God to overcome any thing…no matter how dark or desperate. This is a riveting story of family, faith and forgiveness.

    I think that Lynnann received a special gift from God that few of us ever get, a head-on facing of our past, closure, and healing. With God's grace she was able to confront the horrors of her past and share them with us in detail so that we may learn from them as well and maybe get the courage to face some of our own demons and receive the closure and healing that we desire in order to move forward.

    Thank you for sharing your painful story and allowing us to rejoice with you in your healing proc I think that Lynnann received a special gift from God that few of us ever get, a head-on facing of our past, closure, and healing. Thank you for sharing your painful story and allowing us to rejoice with you in your healing process! Oct 14, Laurie rated it liked it Shelves: I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads The author did an amazing job of writing about her experiences as a child growing up with a negligent mother and her path to healing afterwards.

    This book shows the reader what life is like for an abandoned child growing up in an orphanage and foster care and the journey such a child must make in order to be reunited with their family. It is a heartbreaking story that is definitely worth the read.

    This book had me from the first line. Lean, visceral prose pulls you forward through emotionally charged storyline. It is one thing to to have lived a compelling story, it is another to be able to clearly tell the story. I am impressed with L. Muse's book and look forward to the next. I couldn't put it down.

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    A incredible story of overcoming insurmountable odds with God's help. I cried with tears of sadness and joy. A book I will not only cherish but give as a gift! Very touching story, I could not put the book down, I would like it to be introduced to AA and Al-Anon, I think it would help people with addiction, And children living with parents that have addiction, God bless the author, For telling her story.

    Julie rated it it was ok Jun 17, Huda rated it really liked it Aug 31, Miamikel SS rated it really liked it Nov 23, Bbpappysmall rated it it was amazing Sep 03, Judith rated it liked it Oct 16, Artheriannah rated it really liked it Oct 25, Dianne rated it really liked it Sep 03, Lizzie Hurwitz rated it did not like it Feb 28, Beverly Rowan rated it it was amazing Nov 07, Michelle rated it really liked it Nov 04, For anyone who enjoys nonfiction, this one is a must read.

    A Forest of Doors: An Orphan's Quest by L.A. Muse

    Nov 27, Kristin Pace rated it it was amazing. Imagine that everyone around you treats you differently from others. Imagine that they call you "tougee" and even though you don't understand what the word means, you know how it makes you feel. Imagine that you are abandoned by your family, left on a train Imagine that you have to make your way in the world and that nobody will help you. Imagine that you have to survive harsh winters, dig up, catch or steal food and make clothes out of straw for warmth. Now imagine that at the Imagine. Now imagine that at the start of your journey you are only four years old.

    In her new book She is Mine, author Stephanie Fast takes her readers on an emotional roller coaster as she describes in horrifying detail the trying ordeal she endured as a young girl struggling to survive in South Korea following the Korean War. The daughter of an American soldier and an unwed Korean mother, this nameless child is unwanted and unwelcomed not just by her family, but by everyone she meets.

    As you read this account, you will not help but become emotionally involved in the story, turning page after page, praying for a good outcome, for someone to take notice. As a parent your heart will ache for this child, for the physical and emotional trauma she suffers and the innocence that is lost. You will shed tears of sorrow as you are reminded of the tender young age of the one suffering.

    You will want to hold onto your own children tightly and vow again to shield them from all the darkness of this world. As a human being you will be enraged at the countless abuses she endures by total strangers simply because she was born of the wrong parents.

    A Forest of Doors: An Orphan's Quest

    Through it all, your soul will give thanks as you see the hand of Providence in the rare kindnesses shown and rejoice as she comes to know the One Who loved her when nobody else did. It is also a story of survival, of living, when it seems impossible. Perhaps, the most compelling and the most horrifying thing about it is that it is a true story. It still happens today. All are crying out or a caring person to deliver them from the hands of their oppressors. However, if you are willing to open your mind to the plight of millions of children, then pick up this book.

    Sit down, open it, read it, weep, mourn and prepare to be changed as your mind is made aware not just of tragedy but also of hope that exists all around you. Feb 15, Amanda Herring rated it it was amazing. This is such an important book! The story was gripping and fast-paced. Some parts were hard to read, but this was her reality. The author is brave to tell this story, and I'm so glad she did. Jan 26, Erin rated it it was amazing.

    This is the story of a young girl rejected because of her parentage. Her mother is Korean and her father an American G. In a country torn apart by war and with a strong cultural emphasis on family and history, little Yoon Myoung is seen as a mistake -- an outcast. Fortunately, God does not judge us by man's standards. Left to fend for herself at the tender age of four, Yoon Myoung survives by sheer grit, optimism and the unbreakable spirit of a child.

    But, even the strongest warrior heart can e This is the story of a young girl rejected because of her parentage. But, even the strongest warrior heart can eventually be broken by a cruel and unrelentingly painful life. Yoon Myoung's life is spared multiple times by what Christians would say were miracles; interventions by a loving God to help this child endure and eventually, thrive. I'm not gonna lie -- this book is painful to read.

    As a mother, I found the story tearing at my heart multiple times. I wanted to rail against a bigoted and unfair world that at times, seemed determined to destroy this child. She is starved, abused, rejected, ignored, tortured, and left for dead. She witnesses things no child should have to see. And I think that's a good thing.

    Fast's story, told in the third person to give a sense of the commonality of many an orphan's story, will touch your heart and make you think. Part of me wishes I had never read the book because I am haunted by its images. But a bigger part of me is so glad I read it and had my eyes opened to a real and all-too-common truth in our broken world.

    Millions of children in this world are surviving in a cruel and unforgiving world. It will change you. Nov 25, Marjorie rated it it was amazing. This book will grab you, have you one the edge of your seat and have your turn page after page, after page and turning more pages. You won't stop until the end. It is about a young Korean girl who falls in love with an American soldier. He returns to America and she is left pregnant.

    She has her baby and her family are in shock because the baby is "tougee" - biracial. No one wants anything to do with the child. When the child is four her mother is forced to take her and leave her somewhere, the family no longer wants to have her with them or want to continue to take care of her.

    So her mother takes her to the train station and abandons her there. Yoon Myoung leaves the station and decides to look for her mother. She travels for several years looking.


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      6. People were very cruel to her. Will Yoon Myoung find her mother? Will she ever be able to live a better life? Will she know love and trust? The end is very surprising. I loved this book. I gave this book 5 stars but it deserves many, many more. This is one book that would be perfect for your bookshelf and I highly recommend it to everyone. I look forward to more from Stephanie Fast.

      Dec 21, Sandra Stiles rated it it was amazing Shelves: This is such a heartwrenching story, and yet it is so full of hope.

      The Girl Behind the Door: A Father's Journey Into the Mystery of Attachment

      No one knows the path many in this world walk or have walked. Very few could walk and survive the path Stefanie Fast walked. I am not real familiar with the Korean War since it was many, many years before my time. However, I remember hearing similar stories after the Vietnam War.

      An American soldier fathers a child with a Korean mother. It is bad enough the mother is left pregnant and unwed, but the baby is mixed which is an abs This is such a heartwrenching story, and yet it is so full of hope. It is bad enough the mother is left pregnant and unwed, but the baby is mixed which is an absolute taboo.

      When she is four years old the family has had enough. Her mother takes her to the train station and abandons her. She spends years looking for her mother. The abuse and atrocities she goes through make it a miracle she survived. God looked down on her and had great plans for her. This is one of those books you will start and continue to read until you have finished it.