e-book Parents Ask, Experts Answer: Nurturing Happy, Healthy Children

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• Nurturing Guidelines for Whole Parenting - Grow healthy. Grow happy.
• Dinner: 30 Minutes to a More Connected Family
• How to raise a happy baby and child (birth to 12 mo.)

Ask kids their opinions on the issues of the day, or ask them for input on a decision you have to make. Share a poem you stumbled onto today, or a mistake you made, or a decision you have to make. Jokes can be fun, but be careful, because kids' humor can easily degenerate into a dinner you won't enjoy.

Write possible agenda items on index cards and put them in a kitchen drawer, so if you're just too tired to think on some evenings you can still have a rewarding and re-energizing discussion by just pulling out a topic. Some ideas:. Click here for irresistible questions to ask your kids to get great family discussions started. Families who have already created a culture of discussion will have an easier time with this than those who introduce it to older kids, but don't give up.

Kids who don't speak up can often be coaxed to talk by asking them specific questions about their interests. Closed-mouth teens whose families haven't made a habit of dinner table conversation may take special wooing. Be prepared for some wise-cracking "The most interesting thing about me is how corny my family can be! Facilitating a positive discussion can be a challenge for parents, but is infinitely worth it for the communication and closeness it fosters in your family. What Teens Would Share if Parents Would Listen , says that tweens and teens want desperately to talk to their parents about things that are worrying them, but parents don't listen.

Kids often gain insight into solutions just by talking. Your kids won't always say things in ways that are easy for you to hear, but try to see it from their perspective. Bite your tongue or cover your mouth literally, if you're like me if you need to, so that you don't interrupt, and hear them out.

Breathe deeply so you stay calm. If a topic feels inappropriate for the dinner table, thank the person who brought it up, and ask if you can talk about it more after dinner, privately. Just keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have kids who are willing to talk with you, and breathe! Defer unpleasant topics. Adults who start to complain about their day can be asked to add "and my life is blessed" to any complaint and fined a dollar toward ice cream cones on Sunday evening. If you've tolerated a family culture where teasing is allowed -- which seems to be the norm among many families with teenage boys -- proclaim the dinner table a safe space exempt from comments that hurt another's feelings.

The key is cheerful, relaxed, and kind parental leadership so that everyone's contribution is valued and no one feels criticized. Sometimes an adult is out of town, or a child has a school event. Some parents try to keep one night as date night to keep their bond with each other fresh, and many families routinely socialize on Saturday nights or have Sunday dinner with extended family. But you can create the expectation that on certain nights, everyone comes home for dinner. Start small, if you need to, with one or two nights a week. Even those limited by a long commute or odd hours can often manage a night or two, and those nights become extra-special for everyone.

Creating a sense of fun and play at the dinner table is the single best way to make everyone look forward to that time together, and sets a wonderful tone in your house.

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Laughter really is the best medicine after a grueling day. Impersonate each other. Talk in rhyme. We think of clean-up as a chore, but really it's a sacrament: the means by which this lovely time of connection and deliciousness can happen again next time. Once children get used to the idea, the group effort can be fun, and of course it's a great learning experience for them.

Most important, it changes the dynamic of one adult serving everyone else. Teenagers, especially, often enjoy the power of deciding what the family eats one night a week; learning to cook is good practice for when they go solo. Obviously, this won't happen every night, and busy weeknights are the hardest because kids have homework, but you might want to talk as a family about whether everyone could help get dinner on the table one night a week to start.

And you can start small, with everyone gathering to set the table together and get the food onto the table.

In many families where only one person takes responsibility for cooking, that person is exempt from clearing and clean-up. For clean-up, rotate who's in charge of music, create a festive mood, and involve everyone. There's no reason this can't be a fun, connecting part of your family life. Just making it through each day intact as a family is worth celebrating!

We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me. Here's your 10 step plan. It is such high quality material, and you go into enough detail to be really helpful. You've helped me so much in my parenting. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. Similarly, if you have a colicky baby who cries for hours, the best thing for you to do is to stay calm, because babies pick up on their caregivers' stress.

With a new baby, it's normal to feel tired, overwhelmed, and even a little blue. But if you find yourself constantly stressed out or depressed, it's important to seek help. Find out more about postpartum depression and anxiety.

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Do you worry about whether your child is happy? Take our poll and tell us. What do you do when your child's in a slump? We asked BabyCenter parents, who shared their favorite tried-and-true tips to chase away the blues and bring a smile to their child's face. Read all seven tips for cheering up your child. The childhood roots of adult happiness.

Masia-Warner C, et al. Anxiety disorders in children: Family matters. Cognitive and Behavior Practice 11 1 Parent Guide News. Talking without words. Join now to personalize. By Jill Storey.

Medically reviewed by Nancy Montgomery. Learn to read your baby's emotions Have fun with your baby Help your baby master new skills Cultivate your baby's healthy habits Let your baby figure it out Allow your baby to be sad or mad Teach your baby to share and care Be a role model to your baby. Learn to read your baby's emotions As your child matures from a newborn to a more interactive baby by the age of 6 months, he'll become a master at showing you when something makes him content or upset. Let's Play: Weekly Baby Activities. Find two perfect, development-boosting activities for every week of your baby's first year.

Show sources Dr. Jill Storey. Featured video. How much do I have to play and interact with my baby? Do babies need time alone? Is it okay to let my baby use her pacifier at night? Nursing strike. Should I try to stop my baby from sucking her thumb? Toys for 3- to 6-month-olds. Can I predict my child's temperament? New to BabyCenter? Join now. Password Forgot your password?

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