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I've heard a appeal on my life. Then, with my children faith and by cutting myself to sign a pact with my blood, one evening I gave my life to Satan.
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It breeds selfishness within you, which is what makes it so dark - for yourself as well as those around you. Putting yourself first all the time, and not caring about others, is lonely. But, at the time, I felt like the Christian God that I grew up with, who was meant to be good, didn't seem to care about my suffering.

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I was self-harming and rebelling with drink and drugs. It seemed to be all about pretending everything was fine; there was no room for darkness or controversy.

So I rejected it. Satanism gripped me. It became my life.

My life for...... Satan lover

I drew the pentagram on everything, from my school books to my body. My friends and my girlfriend were freaked out - they all thought I'd gone too far. I went from being pretty popular to having no friends. Then one night I dreamt that Satan was standing at the end of my bed. He was well-dressed and well-spoken, like a character from a Sherlock Holmes film.

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So, I started making deals with Satan. If I stole things like booze from my parents, was honest with girls that I just wanted sex, or turned people against each other, then I got to live. After a while, I started having terrible nightmares and realised I was getting quite disturbed. There was a moment when I asked myself, 'Am I really having a conversation with Satan? I felt totally isolated and like I had nobody to turn to except Satan. Then my exams were over - and I was still alive.

Suddenly, it was clear to me that he was a liar. Salvation came in an unlikely form. It was a week-long event in the countryside.

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To be honest, I went because I thought there might be some hot girls there. But I was surprised to find that it was full of people who, like me, were unhappy with traditional Christianity. While he was praying, I felt a sense of peace flood my body. Afterwards, the man said that even though I felt there was no hope in my life, God had a plan for me and Satan was a liar. I went home feeling free and positive for the first time in ages.

I decided to look at Christianity again, but not just accepting it unquestioningly, as I had been told to do before. Slowly, I learned not to use people for money or sex, as Satanism had led me to.

Some of my friends were supportive, but it became hard to stay part of such a hedonistic scene. Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll had been my coping mechanisms throughout my teens.

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It took me years to learn that you don't need those to feel good about yourself, and I slipped up on occasion. But I started going to church more regularly, and I felt increasingly like I belonged. When I was 20, I met my wife, Sarah, through the church. I never set out to be a vicar. I got a job in south London after college, working with dyslexic kids from local gangs. At the same time, I joined a new church in the area, and found myself being asked for advice by young members of the congregation about spiritual matters.

I was like, 'Wow, this is quite a big responsibility'. I decided to do some proper studying, and took a Bible Studies degree at the University of Nottingham. In my neighbourhood, the dog collar would be a barrier. WorldCat is the world's largest library catalog, helping you find library materials online. Don't have an account? Your Web browser is not enabled for JavaScript. Some features of WorldCat will not be available. Create lists, bibliographies and reviews: or. Search WorldCat Find items in libraries near you.

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