Hard Won Wisdom

Hard Won Wisdom [Fawn Germer] on leondumoulin.nl *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Oprah told the world, If you want to read a very inspiring book, read.
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This is a book that I will keep in my library. It is an excellent example of a soldier not only remembering, but reaching out and helping his buddy. We could use a lot more of that!! All the best, Jay One of my coworkers is a retired Marine turned lawyer. He requested that I read this book. From my perspective, it was just another self help book. I don't really care for them. I tend to get more out of an anecdote or history than I do from a philosophical soliloquy. That's not a jibe at the author as he sounds like an amazing individual and a clearly a great patriot.

I just don't care for the book's One of my coworkers is a retired Marine turned lawyer. I just don't care for the book's presentation. I gave it three stars since it's not bad; it's just not for me. Apr 04, Nathan Albright rated it really liked it Shelves: When I first started reading this book, I thought it would be the sort of book that would provide a look at resilience, at overcoming difficulty, and it did, in a manner of speaking. This is a book where the structure of the book, as artificial and contrived as it is, is of the utmost importance.

The author is a retired Navy SEAL who finds great purpose in encouraging other veterans, and this book is written as a series of letters about various topics to a colleague of his who had left the servi When I first started reading this book, I thought it would be the sort of book that would provide a look at resilience, at overcoming difficulty, and it did, in a manner of speaking. The author is a retired Navy SEAL who finds great purpose in encouraging other veterans, and this book is written as a series of letters about various topics to a colleague of his who had left the service with a diagnosis of PTSD [1] and fallen into alcoholism with the threat of jail and absence from his wife and young children.

The twenty-three letters that make up this sizable book of pages cover a wide variety of topics: The author is fond of namedropping playwrights and philosophers, blending biblical insights with the lessons of Kung Fu movies and Eastern religious tradition, along with the stoic heroes of Roman history, and this book shows a wide range of reading.


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The book also is full of the warmth and compassion that people show to those they know, but what we see is almost entirely only one side of the conversation, the erudite and scholarly letters written by the author, with only fleeting quotes of the other side of the conversation, as it becomes increasingly obvious that the correspondent has taken responsibility and improved his life over the course of the lengthy letters, seeing as there is no way this correspondence happened quickly.

What is one to make of this book, though, as it is. The book is obviously not all-encompassing, as the author accurately notes that it contains little about marriage and fatherhood, seeing as the author himself does not feel competent to discuss such matters. The book leans heavily on philosophy and does not appear to be a particularly religious sort of person, although the sort of discipline and habit and care for others that the author praises are precisely what tends to be the approach of those who are genuinely religious.

The resulting contradiction is that the author professes to be wise, while showing himself to be immensely foolish in striving to be his own god. Mar 02, Tim rated it it was amazing. Your Frontline — 1 Letter 2: What is Resilience — 19 Letter 4: Beginning — 32 Letter 5: Happiness — 49 Letter 6: Models — 66 Letter 7: Identity — 79 Letter 8: Habits — 95 Letter 9: Responsibility — Letter Vocation — Letter Philosophy — Letter Practice — Letter Pain — Letter Mastering Pain — Letter Reflection — Letter Friends — Letter Mentors — Letter Teams — Letter Leadership — Letter Freedom — Letter Story — Letter Death — Letter Do the same thing yourself.

Eat like a man, drink like a man … get married, have children, take part in civic life, learn how to put up with insults, and tolerate other people. If not, the philosophy fails. If so, it succeeds. Philosophy used to mean developing ideas about a life worth living, and then living that life.

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Are you aware of the way those assumptions, beliefs, and ideas add up to shape your life? Can they stand exposure to the light of day? Approach each day as if you have something new to learn.

Your task is not to begin in a noble place, but to end up in one. Selfish, silly, vain desires can create real growth when you subject them to discipline. Accept that you are imperfect and always will be. Your quest is not to perfect yourself, but to better your imperfect self. We flourish when we grow and thrive. We flourish when we exercise our powers. We flourish when we become what we are capable of becoming. The human eye can perceive missions of colors. Yet we know that we can create this wide range of colors largely from just three primary colors: In the same way that an infinite variety of colors can be created from three primary ones, we can think about the full range of happiness by looking at three primary kinds of happiness: Remember what comes first.

A focus on happiness will not lead to excellence. A focus on excellence will, over time, lead to happiness. The pursuit of excellence leads to growth, mastery, and achievement. None of these are sufficient for happiness, yet all of them are necessary. A lot of people think veterans turn to drink and drugs to forget what they experienced in war.

More often, veterans turn to drink and drugs to replace what they experienced in war. A veteran who comes home from war is returning from one of the most intense experiences a human being can have. Even if he was not under fire every day, he woke up every morning as part of the team. He started every day with a purpose, and a mission that mattered to those around him. It comes from working together, hurting together, fighting together, surviving together, morning together. The conditions might be miserable, the larger mission might be misguided, but your purpose easily clear every day, even if it is only to bring your friends home with honor.

We must choose actively, as an adult does. We can select the qualities we want to emulate, leaving aside the rest without regrets. We can admire the profound wisdom of Plato without accepting or ignoring his deep elitism, which held that many of us have no hope of achieving wisdom at all. We can admire the freethinking genius of Thomas Jefferson without accepting or ignoring his ownership of other human beings. We can admire without ignoring, because we are adults, and that is what adults are capable of. We have to put that ideal way, if only because such a view of heroes begins to limit our view of our own lives.

If we believe that our heroes are flawless, we begin to believe that we, being flawed, or incapable heroism. In this way, a belief in the protection of others can inhibit our own growth. Adult heroism is different. The adult knows that all heroic lives are, in a sense, a heroic struggle to overcome our own limitations.

They responded not to the whip or even the reins, but simply the sound of your voice, the total of your body. Now imagine that you put those horses in the barn and leave them there — for a year. The horses are fed and watered and the stalls are clean. How good are they going to be? Some things in life need to be done only once and they are done forever.

This is a practice that — like eating well, like keeping yourself clean — demands daily attention. And that also means there is no getting to perfect. You never win an award for mastering your emotions and call it a day. These are simple things. Being grateful and gracious. Some people try to make this business of living too complicated, Walker.

Decide who you want to be. In time, you become the person you resolve to be. Because they are embarrassed to think of themselves as being more than they are today. Shot down by a ghost sniper of their own creation. Today we spend huge effort and millions of dollars to bring more technology into the classroom, when the great majority of students in the great majority of circumstances can learn almost all of what they need to know with a supportive family, a pencil, some paper, good books, and a great teacher.

The schools that produced Shakespeare and Jefferson and Darwin had some writing materials some printed books — and that was it. For an achievement does not settle anything permanently. We still have to prove our worth anew each day: But when we have a valid alibi for not achieving anything we are fixed, so to speak, for life.

An excuse starts as a protective measure. It shields us from pain, saves our pride, keeps our ego from being punctured, allows us to obscure the brutal truth. That feels like a relief at first. We avoided the pain. Then we lay another excuse on top of the first. Excuses make us feel safe. So, we think, why not add another? How well could you climb a mountain? How well could you swim across a lake?

How well could you hug your kids? Excuses protect you, but they exact a heavy cost. In the long term, the obstacle that stands between us and healing is often not the injury we have received, but ourselves: It is not things which trouble us, but the judgements we bring to bear upon things. Consistency, like cleanliness, is usually good. But just as you can become obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness, you can become hyper-vigilant about consistency. And many of the thinkers we forget made careers out of pointing out these inconsistencies.

Poets like Walt Whitman got this. Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. Emerson had the same idea: And philosophy needs to speak to life. But the difference between a philosophy fixated on the consistent use of words and a philosophy that speaks to life is akin to the difference between dissecting a horse and riding one.

Use logic, of course. Logic is a tool, not a master. Take beauty, for example. What would it be to live without moments of beauty? The tallest person in the world is over eight feet tall. In situations like this, good intentions and heartfelt wishes were not enough. The great dividing line between words and results was courageous action. One of the greatest gulfs in life is between sounding good and doing good. We are ultimately measured by our results, by the way our actions shape the world around us. Without results, all the kind intentions in the world are just a way of entertaining ourselves.

But it can also be a selfish kind of morality. It elevates the helper above the one who should be helped. What matters is what I hope or intend, not what you deserve or receive. They talk more and more and do less and less. People content with good intentions rarely make a difference. They need your strength in action, and they need you to be open to discovering what actually works. Only by using philosophy do you come to know it. It is a practice. Frequency is important because we learn through repetition.

Our bodies and minds and spirits need to adapt between each practice. Intensity is important because we grow only when we push ourselves beyond the boundaries of our past experiences. Duration is important because we need to train as long as necessary for our bodies, minds, and spirits to adapt to our work. Recovery is important because our bodies, minds, and spirits need time to adapt to what we have learned. When we sleep after exercise we can grow stronger. When we sleep after studying, we can grow smarter. Even monks take breaks from prayer so that their spirits can grow.

Our times of practice will become isolated islands unless we reflect. Reflection is the bridge between what we practice and the way we live our lives. His book on character and the pursuit of happiness, the Nicomachean Ethics, has ten chapters, each on a separate subject. Only one topic gets two chapters: No other subject in the book is discussed at greater length. Aristotle viewed friendship as an essential requirement of both happiness and excellence.

And as with almost everything he examined, Aristotle tried to break his subject down into manageable and measurable pieces. He believed that friendship could be based on one of three things: Friendships of utility bring together people who are useful to each other. Think of business partners, coworkers, teammates. Ideally you treat each other with respect and kindness.

Over time, you may grow to like each other. Such relationships are part of every human life and can be genuinely valuable. But such friendships can also be fleeting: A friendship based on virtue and excellence is different. Given the disproportionate number of 5 star ratings for this book, I was prepared to be greatly disappointed. The original material comes from a series of letters the author wrote to his friend but in book form they read more like essays trying to imitate letters. I found the mix of styles distracting.

The content is too well polished for the 'letters to a friend' motif. For this to work for me as a collection of letters I would have liked to read more of the friend's side of the conversation to Given the disproportionate number of 5 star ratings for this book, I was prepared to be greatly disappointed. For this to work for me as a collection of letters I would have liked to read more of the friend's side of the conversation too.

As it is, we only get occasional paragraphs quoted from the friend. Another thing that I had trouble with was relating to the author. At one point he mentions taking his Kindergarten teachers out to lunch to show his appreciation for them as his teachers. I don't even remember the names of my teachers that far back. These things do not diminish the quality of the book but for me they made the material less approachable. Those things aside, this was an interesting read and would make a good book for a discussion group.

And should you want to deep dive into any of the topics covered, there is an extensive bibliography provided. Not 5 stars, but worth a read. Think essay rather than letter. Philosophy rather than self-help. Just be prepared for some testosterone, frequent references to ancient Greece, and a tone that can feel condescending.

My favorite quote from this book: The aim in life is not to avoid struggles but to have the right ones; not to avoid worry, but to care about the right things; not to live without fear, but to confront worthy fears with force and passion. He was a boxer, a Navy SEAL, worked with refugees in war-torn countries, and now runs an organization that helps military veterans retur My favorite quote from this book: He was a boxer, a Navy SEAL, worked with refugees in war-torn countries, and now runs an organization that helps military veterans return to civilian life.

Greitens has given a lot of thought to what makes people effective. There are references to Epictetus and other Romans, but also the Talmud and various other philosophers.


  • Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life by Eric Greitens.
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    • What I like about this book is that the advice is all practical. Greitens has been there. He's put a lot of heart and sweat into his craft, and it shows. The value of this book or any self-help book is that it inspires you to take meaningful action. I just read the book so I can't put in perspective the effect it's had on my life. I can say that I hardly ever write book reviews, and I wrote a review here. Greitens is a role model for me and I hope he will be one for you as well. May 06, Neda rated it it was amazing. Fantastic book about surviving and thriving in life.

    What made this book so special to me besides the writing style was the honesty behind every word. The writer was not shy in addressing the paradoxes of life and after addressing the tragedies of these situations in a realistic fashion, brought the reader up to a more empowered position than before. Both bad and good were addressed and not dramatically.

    It's a story as much as a self-improvement book. Sep 10, Joe rated it it was amazing. This guy is a Renaissance Man- warrior, philosopher, humanitarian, and hopeful statesman. Undoubtedly a personality to watch for in the future. Feb 01, Lauren rated it it was ok. Greitens needs to step off his pedestal of self-importance.

    Book is unorganized and boring. Author thinks too highly of himself. Jan 03, Rachel Bayles rated it it was amazing Shelves: These are the things that wise older brother we could all use would tell us. As good a guide to life as you are likely to find. Mar 01, Timothy Tenbrink rated it it was amazing. Challenging read because of the format but tons of wisdom and practical life challenges. Mar 04, Keenan Burke-Pitts rated it it was amazing Shelves: Timeless wisdom that has withstood the ages. This book encapsulates what good philosophy is in my opinion: If I ever meet the author I owe him some combination of a firm handshake, a hug, a beer, a bow for his support and compassion through hard times.

    I find it interesting that more often than not when y Great read! This book illuminates how vital it is to truly confront our own defense mechanisms. No one escapes pain, fear and suffering. Yet from pain can come wisdom, from fear can come courage, from suffering can come strength -- if we have the virtue of resilience. Resilient people do not bounce back from hard experiences, they find healthy ways to integrate them into their lives.

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    Can you define jass, or ballet, or painting? The tree needs good soil and good sun. People need a life that affords them scope. Starving people find it hard to flourish. Flourishing is a condition that is created by the choices we make in the world we live in. We find it hard even to say what it means to flourish, let alone to actually flourish. And through practice, we can become who we want to be. They see someone who acts out of habit as an automation who lives without choice. But consider the ways in which habits can liberate you. That fear will manifest itself in many ways: Every worthy challenge will inspire some fear.

    To have a vocation, then, is to have work that you feel you have been called to. Your purpose will not be found; it will be forged. What people experience as revelation is often a result of their resolve. Take a disciplined look at your actions. Ask the hard questions. Education is different from training.

    Education aims to change what you know. Training aims to change who you are. Practicing practice will enable you to -- in the words of the old Army commercial -- be all that you can be. Let me suggest this. Though there are many kinds of pain, all of them can be divided into two camps. There is the pain we seek. And then there is the pain that seeks us. The pain that comes from study, from training, from pushing ourselves -- all of that, as unpleasant as it might be to bear -- is pain we seek.

    Because we have brought it into our lives, it is easier to understand, plan for, and work through. But there is also the pain that seeks us. In its milder forms, this pain is just the unfortunate and bad stuff that happens in a normal day. But in its most virulent form, this pain is the stuff of tragedy This is a different kind of pain, and philosophers and theologians and counselors and pastors and priests and poets have all tried to explain where it comes from and what it means. Unlike a pain we might seek when we set out to accomplish a goal, the pain of fortuna hits us without regard to our desires and often without warning.

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    Fortuna suggests that certain things are written into our lives, certain events are beyond our control. There is no easy answer for this pain. There is no pill to take, no prayer to make that lets us wake the next day without pain. At some point, we all have to wrestle with the pain of fortune. All that can really be said about this kind of pain was summed up by Seneca: There is a season to be sad. Allow yourself to be hurt. That tension and worry is part of a well-live life. You often do have a choice about whether you suffer, because suffering is created by your perception of, and relationship to, pain.

    You have to look at it, analyze it. Instead of being in pain, you are now thinking about what the pain is doing to you. But there is wisdom in recognizing that certain attachments can be unhealthy and cause us pain. And part of the art of living is knowing the who, what, when, where, how, and why of being attached. Start with a hypothesis, and then -- no matter how good it makes you feel, no matter how commonsensical it sounds, no matter whose authority you have to back it up -- test it.

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    See how it stands up to the facts of the world. Then let the results of that test -- whether they affirm or contradict your hunch -- shape your understanding. But to do this, you need to do more than just hypothesize and more than just act. You have to reflect on your experience. Sometimes complex things must be appreciated in their complexity. But we can always seek clarity. A mentor who knows one but not the other may be good, but isn't really great. What does it mean for someone to know your challenge? To know your challenge means to have experience of the central question before you. Unfortunately, a lot of bad advice is given, and taken, because people fail to identify the central question they face before acting.

    People can work with others and not feel any sense of common cause. Being in the same place, working for the same boss, even doing the same tasks can breed resentment, alienation, competition, and distrust just as easily as they can bring people together. The magnanimous person is not grasping, insecure, or jealous, not small or mean. The magnanimous person does not bear grudges or seek revenge. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem?

    Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Featuring never-before-published interviews from more than 50 of the world's greatest female role models, "Hard Won Wisdom" offers a practical program for living a bolder and more fulfilling life. Hardcover , pages. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Hard Won Wisdom , please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Mar 15, Jodi rated it really liked it. Some great reminders about our obligation to help other develop their her leadership roles and responsibilites.

    Had some reflective momement when I've missed the opportunity and realize that some opportunites don't knock twice. May 23, Linda added it. I don't think I will read this book word for word. I am interested in some of the women she interviewed and I think that is how I will choose to read the book. I didn't finish the book,read the parts I wanted and that was that.

    Oct 02, Keri rated it it was amazing Shelves: For women of all ages when you want to know how far we have come! Need inspiration to keep going? Try one more time? Reach a little higher? Read Hard Won Wisdom. Germer delivers the best of the best of women leaders - the first in their field of expertise. May 24, Mary rated it really liked it Shelves: Same Author as Mermaid Mambo and Linda brought the book to the book club. Just got this book from the library and will start it tonight.