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"The Stolen White Elephant" is a short story written by Mark Twain and published in by James R. Osgood. In this detective mystery, a Siamese white.
Table of contents

I stated my errand. It did not flurry him in the least; it had no more visible effect upon his iron self-possession than if I had told him somebody had stolen my dog. Ho motioned me to a seat, and said calmly — ' Allow me to think a moment, please. Several clerks were at work at tho other end of the room ; the scratching of their pens was all the sound I heard during the next six or seven minutes.

Meantime the inspector sat there buried in thought. Finally he raised his head, and there was that in the firm lines of his face which showed me that his brain had done its work and his plan was made. Said he — and his voice was low and impressive — ' This is no ordinary case.

Every step must be warily taken ; each step must be made sure before the next is ventured. And secrecy must be observed — secrecy profound and absolute. Speak to no one about the matter, not even the reporters. I will take care of them ; I will see that they get only what it may suit my ends to let them know. Nothing can be accomplished in this trade of mine without strict and minute method. Given name i ' ' Jumbo. These matters are sufficient under that head. Now please describe the elephant, and leave out no particular, however insignificant — that is, insignificant from your point of view.

To men in my profession there are no insignificant particulars ; they do not exist. When I was done, he said — ' Now listen. If I have made any mistakes, correct me. Next, I must have a photograph of the property. That is un- fortunate, and is calculated to mislead, for of course he does not usually have it in that position. The inspector said — - ' It will be necessary to offer a reward, of course. It is an intricate and difficult business ; there are a thousand avenues of escape and opportunities of conceal- ment. These thieves have friends and pals everywhere ' ' Bless me, do you know who they are?

I may, and I may not. We generally gather a pretty shrewd inkling of who our man is by the manner of his work and the size of the game he goes after.

Newest listings by Mark Twain

This property was not " lifted " by a novice. But, as I was saying, considering the amount of travel which will have to be done, and the diligence with which the thieves will cover up their traces as they move along, twenty-five thousand may be tco small a sum to offer, yet I think it worth while to start with that.

Then this man, whom nothing escaped which could by any possibility be made to serve as a clue, said — 'There are cases in detective history to show that criminals have been detected through peculiarities in their appetites. Now, what does this elephant eat, and how much 1 ' ' Well, as to ivhat he eats — he will eat anything. He will eat a man, he will eat a Bible — he will eat anything between a man and a Bible.

Details are necessary — details are the only valuable things in our trade. Very well — as to men. At one meal — or, if you prefer, during one day — how many men will he eat, if fresh 1 ' ' He would not care whether they were fresh or not ; at a single meal he would eat five ordinary men.

What nationalities would he prefer 1 ' ' He is indifferent about nationalities. He prefers ac- quaintances, but is not prejudiced against strangers. Now as to Bibles. How many Bibles would he eat at a meal 1 ' ' He would eat an entire edition.

The Mysterious Stranger and Other Stories

I refer to bulk. The ordinary octavo Bible weighs about two pounds and a half, while the great quarto with the illustrations weighs ten or twelve. He would take what they had. We must get at it somehow. The Dore costs a hundred dollars a copy, Hussia leather, bevelled. I will put that down.

Chapter 14 - The Stolen White Elephant

Very well ; he likes men and Bibles ; so far, so good. What else will he eat 1 I want particulars. General quantity at a meal — say about - ' Well, anywhere from a quarter to half a ton. Milk, water, whisky, molasses, castor oil, camphene, carbolic acid — it is no use to go into particulars ; whatever fluid occurs to you set it down.

He will drink anything that is fluid, except Euro- pean coffee.

Full text of "The stolen white elephant, etc."

As to quantity 1 ' 'Put it down five to fifteen barrels — his thirst varies; his other appetites do not. They ought to furnish quite good clues toward tracing him. Inspector Blunt unfolded the whole matter to him, detail by detail. Then he said in the clear, decisive tones of a man whose plans are clearly defined in his head, and who is accustomed to command — ' Captain Burns, detail Detectives Jones, Davis, Halsey, Bates, and Hackett to shadow the elephant. Inspector Blunt was silent and thoughtful a moment, while the fire in his eye cooled down and faded out.

The more I had seen of the man the more I liked him, and the more I admired and marvelled over the mysterious wonders of his profession. Then we parted for the night, and I went home with a far happier heart than I had carried with me to his office. Next morning it was all in the newspapers, in the minu- test detail. It even had additions — consisting of Detective This, Detective That, and Detective The Other's ' Theory ' as to how the robbery was done, who the robbers were, and whither they had flown with their booty.

Short stories by Mark Twain

There were eleven of these theories, and they covered all the possibilities; and this single fact shows what independent thinkers detec- tives are. That was, that although the rear of my building was torn out and the only door remained locked, the elephant had not been re- moved through the rent, but by some other undiscovered outlet.

All agreed that the robbers had made that rent only to mislead the detectives. That never would have occurred to me or to any other layman, perhaps, but it had not deceived the detectives for a moment. Thus, what I had supposed was the only thing that had no mystery about it was in fact the very thing I had gone furthest astray in. The eleven theories all named the supposed robbers, but no two named the same robbers ; the total number of suspected persons was thirty-seven.

The various newspaper accounts all closed with the most important opinion of all — that of Chief Inspector Blunt. Ten days before the robbery was achieved he was already aware that it was to be attempted, and had quietly proceeded to shadow these two noted villains; but unfortunately on the night in ques- tion their track was lost, and before it could be found again the bird was flown — that is, the elephant.

When I read the first half of that I was more astonished than ever at the wonderful sagacity of this strange man. He not only saw everything in the present with a clear eye, but even the future could not fee hidden from him. I was soon at his office, and said I could not help wishing he had had those men arrested, and so prevented the trouble and loss ; but his reply was simple and unanswerable — ' It is not our province to prevent crime, but to punish it.

We cannot punish it until it is committed.


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They will find that when I am ready for them, my hand will descend upon them, in their secret places, as unerringly as the hand of fate. As to the news- papers, we must keep in with them. Fame, reputation, constant public mention — these are the detective's bread and butter. He must publish his facts, else he will be supposed to have none ; he must publish his theory, for nothing is so strange or striking as a detective's theory, or brings him so much wondering respect ; we must publish our plans, for these the journals insist upon having, and we could not deny them without offending.

We must constantly show the public what we are doing, or they will believe we are doing nothing. It is much pleasanter to have a newspaper say, " Inspector Blunts ingenious and extraordinary theory is as follows," than to have it say some harsh thing, or, worse still, some sarcastic one. But I noticed that in one part of tout remarks in lie papers this morning, you refused to reread jour opinion upon a certain minor point.

Besides, I had not formed any opinion on that paint, any way. We were expecting the telegrams to begin to arrive at any moment now. I said I thonght it cngtx to be offered to anybody who would catch the elephant. The inspector sail — ' It is the detectives who will find the elephant, hence the reward will go to the right place. If other people found the ammalj it would only be by watching the detectives and taking advantage of cities and indications stolen from them, and that would entitle the detectives to the reward, after all The proper office of a reward is to stimulate the men who deliver up their time and their trained sagacities to this snrt of work, and not to confer benedts upon chance citizens who stumble upon a capture without having earned the benefits by their own merits and labours.

Found a succession of deep tracks across a farm near here. Shall now shadow him in that direction. Glass factory broken open hero during night and eight hundred bottles taken. Only water in large quantity near here is five miles distant. Shall strike for there. Elephant will be thirsty. Pro- bably oaton. Ilavo got a clue, and am off.