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2020: The Year Ahead

And so I want to fix that, if you let me. It was kind of relief, yeah. We had a lot of information. We have to release for 25 years' marriage what parts we did wrong and what part it was OK.

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After our conversation and after he went to leave, he hugged me, and he said, you know, just let's try one more time, and let's see how it's going to go. And he hugged me, and I thought, oh, my god, feels good. The second courtship took six months, instead of three weeks. They got married at City Hall.

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Everyone they knew was overjoyed, except for my sister and me. We boycotted the wedding. It seemed ridiculous to us.

291: Reunited (And It Feels So Good)

After three years of worrying about them and holding their hands, they were heading straight back into the misery they'd worked so hard to leave behind. But it turns out we were wrong. They traded their unhappy Iranian marriage for a happy American one. When you think about American relationships, you think about the divorces, the self-help books, the constant talking about feelings. And even though all of that seems undignified and laughable, it's all working for my parents. Now I can see my dad struggling to keep his temper in check.

He thinks about hurting my mom now, about embarrassing her in a way he never did before. I see them laugh with each other and talk to each other.

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I used to be so nervous around them, because the atmosphere was so tense. Now, they actually seem to like each other. And for a long time, I attributed everything to my father's change. He learned to control his temper, and now they're happy. But that's not the way they see it. Basically, I had a lot of problem in my life that he wasn't the cause of it. When two years I sat down, I always thought, he's not here.

I still have those problems, you know? I don't socialize not because of-- it's not him, it's me. Living on her own allowed my mother to see my father the way he'd always seen her-- as a choice she wanted to make. And now she says she loves him for the first time in her life.

Everybody agrees that if they'd stayed in Iran, none of this would have happened-- not the heartbreak, not the new-found compatibility. This is my sister, Nilofar.


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The West did break them up. And then, they had the freedom to get back together again, you know?

I always felt like we had such a weirdly and kind of such an American experience, like, all of a sudden in the middle. And I don't know what even that means except that my parents got divorced, and then they talked about their feelings, and they both went to therapy. And we talked to my dad about relationships. And he started dating. And I was just like-- it's like I feel like we had this family, like the crazy family on the block who doesn't put up Christmas lights, like the non-American, crazy family.

With a bad lawn all of our lives. And then all of a sudden, my parents turned All-American and had this American experience. And now we're like this little happy family. And it kind of grosses me out too, because I'm like, this is not where we fit. You know? This is not our family. You know what I mean? I'm still struggling with normal and good.

When you thought about your life as some slightly depressing, slightly boring novel lying on the bargain bookshelf, it's weird to have it end up on the bestseller rack in the self-help section. Nazanin Rafsanjani. In the years since we first broadcast that story, she was on the podcast Startup many times. And she now heads new show development for the podcast company Gimlet Media. Her parents are still together. Coming up, a reunion that attempts to defy the most powerful force on Earth. That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.

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It's This American Life. Each week on our program, we choose some theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme. Today's program, "Reunited And it Feels So Good ," stories of unlikely reunions achieved through the most difficult paths possible. And we've arrived at Act Two of our program. He's just like a big bundle of just loving whatever. If you've ever had a favorite dog that you can think of as a child, or some other animal-- and he'd lick your face, you know?

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And yes, he was cuddly. They're white, regal, ancient-looking, with huge horns and a blackened hump the size of a bowling ball that rises between their shoulders. That muscle right there is the one that throws all the bull riders off. When they flex that muscle, the rope just pops right out of their hand, and they're long gone. Yes, you're a good boy. Now, Ralph Fisher had been around bulls and steer all his life.

He'd worked the rodeo as a young man. He'd trained animals as an adult. When he found Chance at an auction, he'd never seen a bull so tame. His kids would climb all over Chance. Chance would nuzzle up to Ralph's wife, Sandra, and lean his head. I don't know if Ralph and Sandra would agree with this, but I think everything that went bad, all the trouble that eventually unfolded, it all came because they were blinded by their feelings.

With the world's largest Herd of saddle-broke tame Texas Longhorns and Brahmans, Ralph Fisher's photo animals are sure to be a crowd-pleaser at your corporate gathering, convention, sales meeting, or even at your own private party. Ralph and Sandra have a family business taking pictures of people standing next to or on top of animals at barbecues, parties, the occasional presidential inaugural ball. And Chance was the star.