Manual My Baby Chase: Our Roller Coaster Ride from Infertility to Parenthood

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As the years tumbled by, Lisa found herself begrudgingly throwing away unsuccessful pregnancy tests. Even though each month offered new hope, the fear of it ending in disappointment grew stronger. Jerry and Lisa finally decided to seek help and they turned to their doctor, who suggested that the now three-year-long married couple started fertility treatments. Thus, Jerry and Lisa began the expensive, emotionally grueling and physically overwhelming regiment. The treatments begin innocently enough with a simple shot in the arm. On that sunny Monday morning, Lisa drove home with quiet optimism, hoping that it would be nice if that was all she needed.

As the days progressed, however, Lisa began to feel different, and not in a good way. The mood swings became more frequent and intense over the following weeks. Lisa felt sorry for Jerry who had to endure their uncontrollable nature. They talked to others who were pregnant and learned that hormone fluxations were normal.

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Friends reassured them that hormones would tend to level out after a few months, so Jerry and Lisa decided it was a small sacrifice to make for the benefit of their future family. Over the following months, Lisa remained on her normal menstrual cycle, which only served as a reminder of her struggles. Every period that she had was more discouraging that the one before it.

Lisa noticed how her feelings toward her period had completely changed throughout the course of her life. More than a few times in college she had a couple of scares that she might be pregnant, but her period always signified that her life would remain unchanged.

These days, however, Lisa would give anything for her life to change. One month after another, it was the same routine. Her life revolved around pregnancy tests and the anticipation of her next period. One day, after suffering through the mental anguish at the start of another period, she decided that she had had enough. Lisa walked to the phone in a daze and called her doctor.

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He explained that the hormonal and borderline suicidal tendencies she was feeling were resulting from the shot she had taken. She might even have to take the shot for several years. He told her that many women on fertility treatments feel these wild hormonal fluxations, which are often much worse than the most severe pregnancy.

These symptoms were the result of the shot trying to shock her hormones into ovulating. Devastated, Lisa called Jerry at work, pulling him out of a meeting and sharing the sad and depressing news. That night dinner was filled with the silence of fear — the fear that their journey to become parents might never be realized. The lost finances were difficult, but no amount of money could compare to what Jerry saw was happening to his wife, both physically and emotionally.

Lisa continued to feel like a lab animal being experimented on. In fact, she spent one month after treatments with almost constant diarrhea and vomiting. It all seemed like some cruel punishment. She would have the worst symptoms of pregnancy and yet never have the opportunity to become pregnant.


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Still discouraged but desperately wanting to be parents, Lisa and Jerry tried the next round of fertility treatments, which meant Lisa had to take a different kind of hormone shot. It also resulted in them turning their sex life into a planned event. And finally it led to one surgery after another. Jerry and Lisa, however, were willing to walk across hot coals if that is what they had to do become parents. One fateful day though, it all changed for Lisa.

Adoption Room

She was sitting at church quietly wondering if God was telling Jerry and Lisa not to become parents. Amidst her sad daydream, Lisa was startled. A child was pushing on her knee trying to squeeze by her. It is our little game we play. Not knowing the mother, Lisa introduced herself. The woman said her name was Linda. As they talked Linda explained that she was about to become a mother again. Lisa felt a sudden pang of sadness, an unusual feeling she had come to know.

Lisa felt happiness for Linda, but it was mixed with hopelessness and envy because of how desperately she wanted to become a mother. What would you go through to achieve your dream?

My Baby Chase : Our Roller Coaster Ride from Infertility to Parenthood

For me it was having a baby. After failing at what Mother Nature says comes naturally, my husband and I took advantage of everything modern medicine had to offer, again without results. Determined to be parents, we were left with the only remaining path — adoption.

Though this seemed a more manageable route, adoption is far from predictable.

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This time our roller coaster ride faced unpredictable birth mothers, unreliable baby brokers, media competitions, mid-night crank calls, repeatedly changing government regulations and strangling red tape. Gilda Dangot Simpkin is a trainer, mediator and counselor who has published over a dozen articles on effective communication and management. These articles have appeared in a variety of magazines including Human Resources Management and Training Magazine.