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Ratna Jalisatgi. Lizzy sisters Will show you their tails. It isn't just their tails but it's their tail talent. What can they do with their tails?
Table of contents

Crew catalog. Exhibit C: Me. I rest my case. Grimace or growl at the camera. This is not socially acceptable in other settings—only models can get away with it. Wear ear muffs and look cute. Okay, NOT. Jump and kick their heels in the air while walking through random Christmas tree farms and scenic meadows.

Non-models end up arrested or medicated for such behavior.


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Wear 16 ethnic necklaces, 13 bangle bracelets, 5 watches and perhaps even a Santa hat and not look over-accessorized. Drink many mugs of what appears to be steaming coffee, and yet maintain a mouthful of blindingly white teeth. Perhaps the secret is to lovingly caress the mug as models do in catalogs, but never actually sip the coffee.

Love the book, hate the movie. In honor of Rage Waters and the Fellas and their twenty-five fictional years of epic rock ballads. You hear the song, and it rocks. Everything in you wants to get up and dance even if you are rhythmically challenged, like me , so you start listening closer—then you hear him talking about his untrimmed chest hair, and you start gagging.

I mean, really, the girl needs to smack that boy! What a skank! But speaking of shady. Helpful hint: If your boyfriend or girlfriend ever sings this song to you, run to the nearest police station.

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So years later, Phil tracked down the guy, invited him to a concert, and busted him by singing this song just for him. In some versions of the urban legend, the distraught man kills himself later. The aftermath would be apocalyptic. But I could still listen to it all day long. Especially to the version by Amici, which has been known to make ecstatic listeners levitate off the ground.

With soaring harmony like that. Crazy fun song. Way back when, I read the lyrics and everything, and still I was confused. I mean, all those poor sheep, missing their tails? And in some versions of the song, they never do find their tails, so those sad little sheep go baah-ing through life, tailless and forlorn, presumably being mocked by all the other sheep for the rest of their sad little lamb lives. Heartbreaking, really. I refuse to sing it to my children. A baby falling out of a tree in its cradle?

Who wrote this evil ditty? And who hangs baby cradles in trees to begin with? Well, the torment stops here. Or about being under the influence. This mysterious affliction has been known even to affect journalists at the Olympic Games. Word-for-word conversation that happened in my house a few years ago: My husband, aka Mr. Tiger Woods just hit an albatross! TDH: Hysterical laughter at my expense. But you would be wrong.

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Embarrassingly wrong. In my defense, I was picturing that legendary moment in s baseball when the pitcher hit a bird with a fastball, and the poor bird exploded in a feathery mess, right there in the air above home plate. It was horrifying. Albatross , in a golfing context, means a score of three under par. We say things are ironic, when really they are inconvenient, or unfortunate, or just a serious disappointment.

You are not a fan of Missy Franklin, aka the Smiling-est Swimmer of All Time you heartless soul, you , nor do you root for other tall swimmers. Are you a god? You have risen from the dead—where is your house of worship? Believe it or not, the Olympic torch is both flammable and inflammable at the same time. Go figure. Henceforth, I plan to reserve this word only for things related to actual deity.


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  7. I have to say. Thanks for reading. If you write mysteries, especially whodunits involving murder, then you will somehow become embroiled in all kinds of scintillating local mysteries, and will become an expert police consultant. I blame Hollywood for this myth— Castle , anyone? Love that show, by the way. I have a secret theory: Jessica Fletcher is the ultimate serial killer and con artist, and she herself committed all the murders she supposedly solved. I think not. Writers get to go hole up in beautiful, secluded resorts with stunning vistas while they pen their masterpieces. Most of us are on a first-name basis with the baristas at our local coffee shops—my children think I work at Starbucks!

    Do writers occasionally get stuck during the writing process? Do we sometimes need to take breaks from our stories?

    Wicked Appetite

    Of course. Do some stories turn out to be dead ends—at least for a while? Writing is miserable. I think we writers, being the dramatic type, sometimes enjoy making our work sound torturous and darn-near impossible—perhaps because we have so little to show for the countless hours we labor at our beloved projects, and we want people to admire and appreciate our efforts. But for me, writing is my happy place. Writers are angsty. Okay this one is kind of true, but not always. Many of us are drawn to writing because we are captivated by people, by the difficulties and intricacies of relationships, the deep questions of life.

    Writers are emotionally fragile people. It takes courage to write about real life without glossing it over. It takes even more courage to write the truth about yourself, and lay it out there for the world to see—even in fictional form. The writing life is glamorous.

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    Sure, I enjoy a fantasy and the opportunity to get away, get involved in a story, but, in my honest opinion, Wicked Appetite is wickedly ridiculous. The characters were silly. I can read silly and get involved but these people, OY! I had a problem with some of the names, like Dazzle family and the Dazzle Bakery. And this guy, Diesel?? What about Gerwulf "Wulf" Grimoire???

    Ok, if there are names out there like this I apologize. Then, making fun of the obviously overweight Shirley. Sure, make fun of the fat chick, they can take it.

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    That's just one of my pet peeves anyway, but I cringe when it's used senselessly for a joke or a laugh. I also find it ridiculous when a writer describes every freakn' thing in a scene! Writing is about scene set up and allowing the reader to use their imagination. Is JE trying to capitalize on the paranormal interest?