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Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Dr. Shelley is a sexologist. Originally from New Zealand Soul Sex - a sexual adventure - Kindle edition by Dr Shelley.
Table of contents

Donna says she has always been sexually curious.

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When a boy showed interest in her, it was she who upped the ante, moving things to the next level of sexual intimacy. By the time she left high school, she had been with a good number of guys. Now, in her second year of college, Donna finally has begun to wonder where her sexual activity is headed.

What is the point? Why does she feel numb inside — as though her body is disconnected from the rest of her? Donna watches other couples and wonders if she will ever know what it feels like to have a man love her — just for her. A vague sense of regret and loss she cannot name follows her around. She longs to retrace her steps and find the innocence of soul she once knew. Her favorite brother used to slip into her room at night, just as she was turning twelve, where he held her in his arms and fondled her changing body.

Being dateraped in high school just seemed like one more act in a bad play. With the sexual walls in her life broken down, Emily accepted the terms of the inevitable: a relationship with a man comes with a sexual price tag. Used with permission. She and her husband, Stacy, have two grown children and live in Raleigh, North Carolina. Sharelines Sex and the Soul of a Woman. Topics: Intimacy Browse Topics. Starting in , respondents were asked detailed questions about their sexual biographies.


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The median American woman born in the s has had three sex partners in her lifetime. The second, third, and fourth columns of Table 1 introduce a variety of covariates intended to account for the relationship between sexual history and marital happiness. The third column adds two measures of socioeconomic status, education and inflation-adjusted family income.

The fourth column contains two measures of religiosity, denomination and frequent church attendance.

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None of these variables has an appreciable effect on the relationship between sexual background and marital happiness. As for women, men who report only one sexual partner in their lifetime are more likely to report very happy marriages. The happiness penalty for additional partners is modest, only a few percentage points. Adjusting for differences in marital history, socioeconomic status, and religion make little difference. This figure makes clear that the difference between having one and more than one, lifetime sex partner is most consequential in predicting marital quality.

That is the trend for women too, with two exceptions: female respondents with four partners or partners have significantly lower odds of very happy marriages compared to those with two partners. They are likely different from their fellows in ways that predict both premarital sexual behavior and marital happiness. Perhaps genetics can explain the relationship between sexual biographies and marital happiness. Any of these explanations are possible, but none can be identified with these data.

One thing missing from the foregoing results is any direct consideration of whether marriage age affects the association between multiple sexual partners and marital happiness. Other things being equal, older respondents have had more time to accumulate extensive sexual histories.

Books – Dr Shelley – Sexologist

To determine whether marriage age is affecting the results, I reran my analysis just for the GSS years that include data on both age at marriage and sexual history , For purposes of comparison, I also ran the analysis without marriage age to determine the extent to which it could explain the relationship between sexual history and marital happiness. For both men and women, the baseline models in Table 3 include all the independent variables listed in Tables 1 and 2.

Overall, Table 3 suggests that adding marriage age to the analysis makes essentially no difference, so it cannot explain the relationship between sexual background and marital quality. The data show that people with 21 or more partners lifetime are almost twice as likely to be unhappily married as are people with fewer partners: 5. Some caveats. First, data on sexual partners are likely prone to errors of boastfulness, shame, and memory consider, for instance, the married respondents claiming zero lifetime sex partners.

Second, data on sex partners and marital happiness are measured at the same point in time. Third, a measure of marital happiness with two or three categories is obviously a blunt psychometric instrument.

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As I suggested earlier in discussing the relationship between marital happiness and divorce, a lot more factors into whether a marriage is good. Finally, there are obvious reasons to expect sample selection bias to affect the results. Women crave sexual variety and while some stifle their desire, others will be unfaithful.


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Martin interviewed dozens of sociologists, sex researchers and anthropologists for her book on female infidelity and says the sad, sorry picture painted of the female libido is grossly wrong. It is alive and kicking — and eager to be satisfied. Forget what you heard about female libido.. Image: iStock.

While males may have higher levels of spontaneous desire, women take the lead for responsive or triggered desire. Martin says the myth that women cheat for emotional reasons while men cheat for sexual reasons is also being overturned. She cites research by Missouri State University on a group of women who used the Ashley Madison website specifically to cheat.

This was a very intentional process. They wanted to find partners for sex.