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My Angel by Joanna Sternberg, released 12 July MY ANGEL ​ Oh my angel Darling angel You're my angel Come back to my open arms ​ How I loved.
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She was working multiple jobs, supporting herself, and I could see her start to materialize the visions for her life, and it made me so proud to see her begin to realize some of her dreams. Unfortunately, she was so easily influenced by others around her, and in the spring of , I saw things beginning to change for her. I believe she let some of the wrong people into her circle, and you could see her demeanor begin to be dragged down by those around her.

Additionally, her father and her oldest sister Stephanie had come back into her life, and she was struggling with the emotions of it all. In June of , she was over at their house and got into a heated argument with her oldest sister. She went home upset and refused to talk to her sister to make up for a few days.

Within a week of that argument, and before she ever got to speak to her sister again, Stephanie took her own life using the exact same gun that my sister had shot herself with 15 years earlier. That was the beginning of the end. I watched my sister take a nosedive and just tailspin out of control.

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It was just too heavy. She spiraled out of control, and it was only a few months until we got the next phone call. Apparently, Charity had been briefly dating a guy that I had never met. But in this weak state, her new boyfriend convinced her that they would attempt double suicide together. He convinced her that they would drink a bottle of Tylenol each, drink all the alcohol they could find, and then cut their wrists together.

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She had taken a kitchen steak knife and literally cut 12 point stars in each of her forearms that stretched all the way from her elbows to her hands. The only thing that saved her life that day is that she was so messed up, she vomited most of the poisons she put into her body and the doctors were able to save her life. As I arrived at the psychiatric hospital that day, I remember the feeling that I had been there before, and that another cycle was beginning. Every emotion and thought was raging in my own mind, and it took all I had to walk through the doors.

Something felt different this time. When I mustered up the strength to go inside, my fears were confirmed.

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This was drastically different. I walked up to her, but instead of her demeanor changing and her becoming vulnerable like all the other times before, she was cold. She looked dead to the world, and as I sat down in front of her for the first time, she simply said one thing to me I lost it. You could see it in her eyes, she was DONE.

I left and sat in my car crying uncontrollably for what felt like hours.

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Going home that night, I did the only thing I knew how to do in those types of moments. I began to write. As a songwriter, it was the easiest way for me to make sense of my own emotions. I poured my heart out, and that night I penned a song that was intended for her ears, and for her ears only. I titled it Borrow My Angel, and it was a plea to beg her to see her own sense of self-worth and find her own purpose in life.

My mom tells me to this day that it was the power of that song that helped her to grow through this last hurdle she had to overcome.

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After a few weeks, Charity was feeling well enough to go home, and she began to do better again. The doctors put her on full disability and she went to live with my mom and was getting her proper medication. You could see the hope slowly regaining in her personality, and a renewed sense of purpose.

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One day, she came to me and told me that this song was far bigger than the both of us, and needed to be shared with the world. We did place it on a local album that we released, but even that never seemed like the proper channel to tell the story. She and I both spoke about that what we should do is to start a non-profit and call it the "Borrow My Angel Foundation" and share our story with the world.

If she could overcome her fear of public speaking, she could find strength in telling her story so that others could draw strength from it as well and know that they are not alone in their struggle. We discussed ideas for our non-profit, and even had conversations with the local National Alliance on Mental Illness chapter about collaborations. Unfortunately, life has a tendency to get busy, and these types of projects can get shifted to the back burner. I was in the middle of a work day, and I received a phone call from my step dad, which was odd to begin with.

I jumped in my car and raced down the interstate getting flashbacks and ultimately ended up right behind the ambulance racing to the house. But pulling in the driveway, and seeing how slowly the volunteer firemen are moving, it was clear we were too late. She had been complaining for about a week that her medication was making her feel off. She had a reaction in her sleep, choked and simply never woke up from her nap. The full gamut of emotions were here again. She had such a genuine, giving spirit and wanted to provide hope for others who are struggling with the same demons, and share with them that even in the darkest of moments, hope for a brighter future can be found.


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Today, my family and I are actively working to establish a c 3 to launch the Borrow My Angel Foundation by the end of Our mission will be two-fold:. Increase awareness around mental disorders and mental disease. Plot Keywords. External Sites.

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