Manual Instant Calmness: How to Calm Down and Stay Calm in Any Tough Situation Instantly! (INSTANT Series)

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In one study, researchers from the University of Wisconsin tracked the brain-wave patterns in students who had just been told the university was considering big tuition increases. They all exhibited brain patterns signifying anger , but signing a petition to block the tuition increases seemed to provide satisfaction.

Put simply, working to right a wrong is life-affirming and positive. Stewing in a bad situation without taking action is the opposite. Think hitting something will feel cathartic and help you reduce your anger?

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In fact, the researchers found they may actually increase your hostility. Breathing deeply helps you learn how to calm down by lowering your internal anger meter. Deep breathing is just one of the many ways you can instantly turn a bad mood around. Think like a detective and track down clues about the kinds of situations, people, and events that trigger your anger, says Nicholson. You can also think of the situation as an opportunity to practice not getting worked up. Whoever loses it, loses.

To learn how to calm down fast, visualize a scene in which you got angry and replay the tape several times, each time envisioning yourself responding a different way. When you get really angry, walk away from the source, Tessina says. A 5-minute walk outside or another calming activity like yoga are both great coping strategies for dealing with anger. The idea: Create a mental or physical escape from the situation. Another mental trick you can use is to picture a red stop sign in your mind or wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever you find your anger beginning to boil.

Recognize your own personal signs of escalating anger. Those might be clenched fists, trembling, flushing, or sweating. Then, use deep breathing to regain control of yourself before your anger erupts, suggests Catheleen Jordan , PhD, a professor of social work at the University of Texas at Arlington, in Arlington, TX. Instead, suggests Nicholson, look at things in shades of gray instead of black and white. Acknowledge that sometimes life is unfair and sometimes the person who is making you angry does the wrong thing. Place your feet flat on the floor in front of you.

Extend your hands palm down and place them gently in your lap. Make sure your elbows are naturally back by your sides. Relax your shoulders so the muscles around them are neither tight nor tense. Breathe deeply in through your nose and exhale through your mouth to help your body relax into this position. Close your eyelids lightly and continue breathing deeply. When using self-control time as a regular part of the day, it should last approximately 3 minutes. When using it as a way to help regain self-control, it should last approximately 1 minute.

When dealing with angry family members, find a way to make them laugh. This is a trick family therapists often use, says Jordan.

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Or do some silly dancing together, or hide a gift in the mashed potatoes served at dinner. The point is to do something together that is lighthearted and fun. Not only does this defuse the anger, but it reminds everyone that you are in this family together, forever, and that love and forgiveness remain in ample supply. Remember that anger is really a messenger, trying to call your attention to something that is wrong, Jordan says. Put your emotions into words.

Instant Calmness: How to Calm Down and Stay Calm in Any Tough Situation Instantly! | instafo

Putting words to feelings shifts some of your brain activity from the emotional areas to the thinking areas of your brain. Open your eyes. During your mini-meditation, you can keep your eyes open. I had no idea that eyes-open meditation was even possible, let alone desirable. We are not meditating in hopes of going further into sleep, so to speak Rather, we meditate to become completely open to life. So keeping the eyes open actually demonstrates this intention to stay with the present. It is a gesture of openness. You may find that opening your eyes helps you open your mind.

One further advantage: No one needs to know that you are secretly meditating. Choose one activity to do with mindful attention. You can do any activity mindfully: Walking in nature, talking with a spouse or child, taking a shower, even sitting in a meeting — these activities can be done with deliberate intent to focus on the present moment. Start with 30 seconds of mindful attention and go from there.

Offer yourself some mindful self-compassion. If you notice that your mind is conjuring up scenarios that make you anxious or angry, give yourself some reassuring words. A little self-compassion goes a long way to calm an agitated spirit. Practice watching your thoughts pass by, as if you were watching a parade.

Instant Calmness: How to Calm Down and Stay Calm in Any Tough Situation Instantly!

By witnessing your thoughts and emotions, you can discover a lot about yourself — your preoccupations, needs, worries, and values, among others. Some themes will emerge over and over. You will also begin to notice that your emotions and thoughts change and dissolve over time. Smile a little bit. Why is the Buddha smiling? A smile can magically relax your mind and body. The smile has an amazing number of superpowers, as I point out here. If you want to tune in to your surroundings, decide to notice five interesting things you can see, hear, feel, or smell.

This simple exercise will enliven any routine activity, such as a walk, by inviting you to notice what is unique, new, or previously unseen. Recite a calming motto, mantra, or prayer. Write down a few perspective-giving sayings, tape them up, and read them to yourself when needed.


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You might also think of something a parent, friend, or colleague told you that brought you calm and reassurance. Focus on gratitude.

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Stop your stress by taking 30 seconds to focus on a few things for which you are grateful. Noticing the positive things in your life, paired with a few deep breaths, is the perfect recipe for a calmer mind and body. Some of these 12 mini-meditations require practice and persistence. But the rewards are great — less stress, more awareness of the present moment, and less self-caused mental suffering. Experiment and figure out what helps you. Tello, M. Notice Five Things. Meyers, L. Would you like more juicy tidbits on the topics of health, happiness , and habits?

Please follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn by scrolling down to my photo and clicking on the appropriate icon. Thank you for being a blog friend! Meg, This is a marvelous summation of information about meditation that we all can use, even those of us who may do formal meditation. What you offer here is a very effective method of encountering our daily reality in a simple way that benefits us, mind,body and spirit. Thank you for your insightful article. I really appreciate your feedback!

And I like the phrase, "a method of encountering our daily reality in a simple way that benefits us," because I find that these mini-meditations are so practical and doable. Thank you for these mini meditation ideas! I have also found Pema Chodron's teaching on Tonglen can be modified for short deep breathing meditations.

If it's stress I'm feeling I will breathe in stress or anxiety and breathe out calm. Within two or three cycles I am feeling better and able to address whatever is the cause of my anxiety, even if it's simply my brain spinning ridiculous scenarios. I also use it when I'm feeling exhaustion, pain, fear, uncertainty, etc.

Appreciate this article! Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! Back Psychology Today.