Manual How to Practice Optimism: 7 steps to new thinking (LifeHacks)

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A few simple techniques are all that's needed to be optimistic and program After you practice this a few times, you will be able to change to more positive thinking in just a If you don't know any, time to step up and find some—it will be fun! . thoughts and emotions more; and you'll probably learn something new about.
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It all comes down to what researchers call "explanatory style. There are three important elements here. Let's call them the Three P's: permanence, pervasiveness, and whether it's personal. Bad things are temporary. Bad things have a specific cause and aren't universal.

It's not their fault. Seligman explains :. The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about.

Such people are unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder. Optimists think good things will last forever, are universal and of their own doing. What's the ultimate result of this? Pessimists often quit. Life feels futile. And when life feels futile, you stop trying and frequently get depressed. So now we understand the kind of thinking that underlies these positions… but how do you go from one to the other?

When things don't go your way, that voice in your head is going to tell a story.


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Check which explanatory style it's using. Is it saying bad things are going to be permanent and universal? Are you blaming yourself? That's pessimism.

Selective Optimism for Pessimists - Optimism is linked to resilience.

Do you really " always screw this up"? That's probably not accurate. Was it percent your fault?

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Almost everything has multiple causes. By remembering the Three P's and flipping the script, research shows you can make yourself more optimistic over time. But that raises an interesting question: why would anyone ever want to be pessimistic?

What Negative Thoughts Do to Your Brain

There's a reason. Overall, then, there is clear evidence that nondepressed people distort reality in a self-serving direction and depressed people tend to see reality accurately. So when negative people say happy people are "lying to themselves"… sometimes they're right. The reason you predict your friends' behavior better than they do is we're all realistic about others' actions and too optimistic about our own.

And if you're in a job where seeing potential problems is vital and there are high costs to being wrong, pessimism can help you. The company also needs its pessimists, the people who have an accurate knowledge of present realities. They must make sure grim reality continually intrudes upon the optimists. The treasurer, the CPAs, the financial vice-president, the business administrators, the safety engineers — all these need an accurate sense of how much the company can afford, and of danger.

Their role is to caution, their banner is the yellow flag. Pessimistic entrepreneurs are more likely to succeed. Optimistic gamblers lose more money. Others will require some courage and stretching. Use this to acclimate yourself to a life of happiness and success. Do a "five-minute favor" for someone. Five-minute favors are selfless giving acts, without asking for anything in return from the people that you help.

Examples of five-minute favors include: sharing knowledge, making an introduction, serving as a reference for a person, product, or service, or recommending someone on LinkedIn, Yelp, or another social place. Day 2: Share your positive experiences with friends and family and watch your joy increase. Studies published in BPS Research have found that sharing the good things that happen in your life is the way to happiness. In one study, participants that journaled and shared positive experiences with another person at least twice a week were more satisfied with life.

We all have a tendency to work too much, lose our balance, and, ultimately, our joy in life. It's the unhealthy feeling that if we don't do something productive every day, we've somehow failed. So allow your perfectionism to rest. Slow down, and know that life is OK the way it is, right at this minute. As you eliminate the need to strive and be perfect, surrender to the universe. You'll begin to appreciate and focus on other, neglected priorities that bring you joy. Empathy and compassion are things you can develop, and it starts with thinking about other people's circumstances, understanding their pains and frustrations, and knowing that those emotions are every bit as real as our own.

This helps you develop perspective, and opens you up to helping others, which also enhances your sense of gratitude. Remind yourself frequently that the purpose of your life is not to work 10 hours per day, five days per week for 30 years, then retire to a golf course in Florida.

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Your true purpose should be to discover your calling in life, basking in the joy of the journey along the way, one step at a time. In the end, your legacy is left to these two questions:. There's something magical that happens when we let other people have the glory. Reading this may bruise your ego, but when we shine the spotlight on someone else and let that person be seen, heard, respected, and considered special--it becomes enjoyable to do so, and gives us a peaceful and quiet confidence.

I don't care what religion you come from, start your day by thanking your higher power for the things you take for granted. Feeling grateful now? Say a little prayer and give thanks, and then pray for the other Patience is a virtue I wish more people practiced. It helps you relax and rethink when things are snowballing out of control. Did that guy cut you off on the highway?

Relax, take a deep breath, and consider that perhaps he's rushing to the hospital with his wife in labor in the backseat.

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Patience helps you see the innocence in other people during those really frustrating moments when you'd like fist to meet wall. The tendency for so many of us is to let resentment fester after an argument or misunderstanding, and then cut off the person from our lives until he or she reaches out to us with an apology. It's convenient. But it's also just plain dumb. You lose a friendship, a family relationship, or great work connection because your ego has to have its way.

Instead, be the first to reach out to make amends, even if you're the one that has to apologize. That humble act will do wonders; the other person will soften, apologize, and allow you back into his or her life. Truly happy people live a simple life. They have a simple schedule. They don't take on more than they can handle. They live according to their values and purpose.

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They have strong boundaries around what comes into their life. And they have no problem saying no. If it doesn't serve you, if it has little value, and if it doesn't make you better tomorrow than you are today--just Researchers call it active and constructive responding ACR. If a friend or colleague shares good news say, a promotion , there are many ways in which you could respond to this news. An ACR response might be, "That's fantastic!

I had no doubts the leadership team would recognize your hard work. Let's celebrate and get some pizza and beer tonight. By doing so, you'll maintain strong personal relationships and feel more positive. Another study found that people reported the most happiness if they had been moving in the past 15 minutes than when they had been sitting or lying down.

I personally prefer my vitamin D and sea taken naturally. Research shows that: spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood but broadened thinking and improved working memory. Head outside for a walk around the block or at least station yourself near a window for a few minutes and just soak up the sun.

Several studies have found that time spent with friends and family makes a big difference in how happy we feel. Harvard happiness expert, Daniel Gilbert, says it well: We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.


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