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A Therapist's Manual Angela Skurtu Is cheating normal? Was it a one-time affair or is it one infidelity in a string of many indiscretions? that Lead to Cheating After finding out about his wife's long-term relationship, John came to therapy to.
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Or was it wishful thinking? Over the next year, the doubts resumed when Ed gave conflicting stories about his infidelity. Hoda Kotb: Okay, so in counseling, you were tripping. Did you notice that you were making mistakes? But Marie did. She went digging for clues, and found them hidden in a phone bill. The same number over and over again. Marie dialed it and a woman picked up. Only it wasn't the old mistress, or the other woman Ed said he had innocently smooched.

Marie Hooke: So Ed came home from work. And I had her on speakerphone, and I said, "Hi, Ed. I have so-and-so on the phone, and she's telling me a little story about the year Ed Hooke: I totally denied everything. I said to the other woman, "Why are you doing this to me?


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Hoda Kotb: Can I tell you something? I wouldn't believe one thing he ever told me, from that day. In fact, Marie didn't believe Ed. Eventually, Ed admitted them all: Mistresses one, two, three. And then he confessed, there was still someone else. Ed Hooke: Most of the time was after work, we'd go to a parking lot and talk and kiss and hold each other and comfort each other.

And I only slept with her one time. That is not a lie. But how do you know when a cheater is telling the truth? As we'll see later, Marie has a crucial question to answer: Will she ever be able to trust her husband again?

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Angela Sanders: I thought we were bulletproof. I was rock solid in that belief. Angela -- an online project consultant -- and Marshall -- a high school basketball coach -- got engaged in They were knee-deep in love. And they wanted an island wedding ceremony, something romantic -- and memorable -- on the beach. As it turned out, they got memorable -- but no marriage. Marshall Sanders: As you can see it's raining cats and dogs. There's a hurricane going on right now. The day before the ceremony - on the Carribean island of St. Thomas - Hurricane Marilyn came barreling along, busting up the best-laid plans.

Angela Sanders: We're still not married. We had to cancel the wedding, and to be announced when we're gonna re-schedule after the storm. The Sanders rode out the storm in a beachfront condo, their dream of a romantic ceremony in shreds. When they made it home to Austin -- to get married there -- family and friends told them the hurricane was an omen. Angela Sanders: They said, "This is a-- you know, a sign that maybe gettin' married's not such a great idea, or you guys are gonna be together forever.

And that's how the Sanders chose to see it -- they figured they were storm-proof. After all they'd already resolved their differences on one big issue: sex.

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For Marshall, it was all-important. And Angela learned that early on. Angela Sanders: When we got together, it was a party. You know, "woo-hoo," you know. And I said, "Honey, you have to understand that bein' physical, you know, is not an indicator of how much I love you.

Marshall Sanders: I kinda grew up equating, you know, my sexual conquests and activity with-- success, with, you know, with how much a person cared for me. Hoda Kotb: So, you meant the more sex Angela had with you, the more she loved you. Video: Once-broken couple on repairing and rebuilding. As the years passed, and their family grew to include two daughters, they admit that distance crept into their relationship.

Angela remembers Marshall not returning phone calls promptly Spending more time away from home. Angela Sanders: The text said something like, "I miss you.

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Call me," something like that. She was at home paying bills. On the computer, a drop-down menu of previous phone numbers appeared - and there was one she didn't recognize. Angela Sanders: For a split-second I thought I wasn't going to pursue it, but just-- it's like a little voice that said, "No, whose number is that? Should I call it? Do I want to be that girl, you know, to call the number? Angela Sanders: It seemed like it rang forever.

And I was just about to hang the phone up when the voice mail picked up. And it was a female's voice. She called Marshall and arranged to meet him -- without revealing why. She wanted to see his eyes when she confronted him. Marshall Sanders: She tried to make it seem like it was just a normal, you know, kinda "we need to talk. I said, "Who is so-and-so?

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And is she the reason that we're done? He looked at me and he put his head down and he put his head back up. And that-- that told me. Marshall Sanders: My heart just dropped, you know. And, you know, I-- I started to think, you know, just how much does she know? Marshall Sanders: No question. I-- at first, you know, I was gonna try to see if I could lie my way through it. Angela Sanders: I just got up and I ran out of the restaurant and-- he ran after me, and I just told him to-- leave me alone, you know, "Get away from me.

In those first stomach-churning moments, Marshall says he knew he was headed for a divorce All because of a four-month fling with a college senior he met during an out-of-town trip.

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Hoda Kotb: How much of it was the-- was the excitement of the secrecy? Marshall Sanders: I-- I think that's a huge part of it. I think that's a huge trap that we fall into, is that, you know, it-- it can be more titillating. It can be more glossy, and more glamorous.

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Or, I can go home and-- and help Angie clean up the floor I think that's a trap that I fell into, and a lot of men fall into. But now it looked like he'd destroyed his marriage. Certainly that's how his wife saw it in those early days. It's easy to see why. Even easier to blame her anguish on a man's failings.

But when it comes to infidelity and cheating husbands, maybe the fault lines are not so clear cut after all It's time to find out if your man is cheating. Can you really handle the truth? Even if you could, would you know how to uncover it? What's the first step? A trip to a psychologist's chair? Or maybe you could get the scoop from Sarah. Sarah Symonds: --I always say that I think men are born to cheat. It depends what type of relationship they The one where mistresses lurk in the shadows like secret agents Where married men are desperate for sex And wives have let things go too far Sarah Symonds: So many wives let things slip.

Mistresses don't. When a guy goes to his, mistress, guaranteed she's going to open the door looking sexy, hot, smell great, bottle of wine is in the chiller Hoda Kotb: What if the wife-- is working nine to five. She's taking care of the kids. She's doing all this stuff. Why is he running across the street to go sleep with Mary Smith?