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Table of contents
- ChapterBuzz - Where serious writers become published authors
- by Roz Purcell
- Spaces & events
- 12222 Festival Author Lineup
So while the series started off 'strong', some of the sequels failed to live up to expectations, and now the series has been "ruined" for some people. Now, while it's true that a book you appreciated when you were new to the fantasy genre or when you were say, a kid, might not read the same way when you've read better books in the genre, or when you've grown up, so to speak.
This book might not be a terribly written book of course, but the plot might be juvenile, and the characters crappy cardbord cutouts. I feel, however, that a good book is always a good book, no matter what age the reader. A good story transcends all ages. I have not just randomly tossed a bunch of books onto this list -- there are some very compelling reasons why books end up here. And if you have any of your own particular stinker reads, please share them -- they may be fodder for the next worst fantasy book update. For those angry folks out there, keep in mind this is MY opinion.
It's subjective, and I'm sure not everyone will agree with me. If you love a book on the list, fair's fair -- different strokes for different folks. However, I want to establish a "baseline" for what's good and what's not in the fantasy genre. And this, folks, is my baseline. But remarks about the books on this list are open for discussion in the comment section. A bit of a disclaimer: I hold no punches when I verbally trash books and authors on this list. This is my personal outlet for that pent-up rage that's been marinating in my brain all these years from reading bad book after bad book.
So if you are a sensitive person who is easily offended, or if you don't want to see your beloved author verbally skewered to within an inch of his or her life, be warned that you might want to SKIP this list. Don't say I didn't warn you! There's a saying that "you shouldn't judge a book by its cover", but in the case of a Robert Stanek novel, you CAN judge by the cover.
This is self-published dreck of the worst sort. I normally wouldn't spend any time actually shouting out a self-published novel here except for the one fact: Stanek habitually games the online rating systems. A suspicious number of positive reviews have been posted at Amazon. Rumor has it that Rob has been padding Amazon.
After reading book one, it was immediately apparent after the first page that the rumor is true. Stanek is, quite simply, the worst author I have had the misfortune of reading.
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He possesses not a single atom of writing ability. Ill put it like this: Keeper Martins Tale evinces all the skill of an adolescent girl, writing her first creative piece on a prancing pony.
Keep away from his books if you value your sanity. His prose is so bad, it'll make your eyes bleed. Because of all this, Stanek wins The Best Fantasy Books award for being the worst fantasy author and writing the worst fantasy novels.
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In fact, I'll go one further. Stanek is not just a bad fantasy writer, he's the nemesis of the fantasy world, the Dark Lord of fantasy authors. Please, if you see a Robert Stanek novel, run like hell, because you're risking your literary soul merely by opening the book.
ChapterBuzz - Where serious writers become published authors
The Chronicles of Blood and Stone. Oh man, what can I say about this except that it's probably one of the worst written novels in the history of publishing, let alone fantasy. What happens when you blatantly copy a bad fantasy writer? Simply, you write a really bad fantasy book. The only books Newcomb ever read were Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth and maybe a few badly written bondage novels.
At least Goodkind can write ONE novel half decently which is more than Newcomb can claim by a few miles. The blurb on The Fifth Sorceress claims it is the epic fantasy of the year. While Newcomb certainly has a fertile imagination, it's fertile in the same way a sexually frustrated, disturbed teenage boy's might be.
We get sultry sorceress after sorceress whose only role in the story is to satisfy the author's fantasies about bad, bad, bad women in leather tights.
by Roz Purcell
If you are going to write soft porn scenes every ten pages, by golly at least make them GOOD sex scenes. Newcomb can't even manage to do that right. With page after page of painful exposition, Newcomb attempts to translate his pornographic fantasies into credible plot devices.
I'm not even going to describe the insult to both women and the English language THAT attempt has birthed into the world. His books are so riddled with cliches, it's no surprise Newcomb sinks to the bottom of the quality barrel. I can't tell you how offensive to your eyes it is to just look at a page written by this man. Look, it says something when the series even garnered its very own website about how bad it really is. And rarely will you ever see a book that gets hundreds of essay-sized one-star amazon reviews throughly bashing the novel every way since Sunday.
It took to about book five of this dreck before the publisher mercifully put Newcomb out of his writing misery. When that moment happened, I'm sure there were angelic choirs singing in full force. Woah, double kill! Some people might be wondering why bestselling author Terry Goodkind is missing from the top 25 best fantasy books.
This is one of the most "asked" questions emailed to me and left in the comments section on the top list.
Spaces & events
I've drastically updated this section to more solidly make my case, to all the Goodkind fanboys out there who've been leaving the hate mail in my inbox, about just WHY Sword of Truth is so very bad. I hope this helps show why I feel these books are bad, rather than just stating that they are. Well gents and ladies, I have been saving a special spot in the Worst Fantasy section for him.
Wait, you tell me: He is a best seller. Yea, but then again so is Snooky from Jersey Shore. Let's be clear: popularity does not equal quality. Even after a full year up here, Goodkind is still staying firmly planted at the number 3 spot, and I don't plan on moving him anytime soon, unless someone manages to top the level of drivel spewing forth from his pen. Though there are some new contenders for worst title, there are no real challengers just yet. Maybe next year will bring something new to the table. So Why is BadKind so Good.
Sorry, that came out wrong.
12222 Festival Author Lineup
Why is NoGoodkind so Good? Opps, sorry, he's so bad I'm getting my words twisted up here. One more time: why is Goodkind so Bad? There we go! Seriously people, if you think Goodkind is the Second Coming of Christ to the fantasy genre, you haven't read any real fantasy books yet. Don't ask me to add his name to any of the Best Book Lists, because I'm not going to.
I'll admit that Goodkind's first few novels were kind of entertaining in a sick sort of way, but the entertainment soon got lost behind the sheer awfulness of the man's writing. The idea was good, but the problem is that Goodkind lacked the actual writing skills to translate ideas to paper. He broke just about every 'don't do this when you're writing a novel' rule in this book. Heck, he probably even broke a few writing rules that haven't been invented yet! He's the Chuck Norris of the fantasy landscape, able to defeat every dark god without breaking a sweat.