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"Freshers' week at uni. First night I'm out, I see the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life. And no one's paying attention to her so I introduce.
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There were girls that were prettier and skinnier and all — the whole thing. I was like, well, shoot; I better do something other than try and become an actress. I wanted to do something to kind of set myself apart from everybody. So, I think I had about 50 margaritas before my first set. I sent a tape in of me doing stand-up in my living room about waitressing, because that was the only experience I had. I had been waiting tables for about two-three years in LA.

Come down and do a set on Thursday night. How did you get into Girls Behaving Badly? Girls Behaving Badly — they actually had seen me doing stand-up and asked me to come in and audition for them.

Well, not anything. Sometimes I have to be told to keep it clean. So it was a perfect fit for me. We just wrapped our fourth season.

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I t ended up opening a lot of other doors. It also helps with your stand-up, too. Was that how you caught the eyes of the Tonight Show and started being a correspondent for them? They booked me to do stand-up on the Tonight Show. The people were familiar with Girls Behaving Badly and they thought this would be a great way to have [me] come on every couple of weeks.

Because if you do stand-up, you go on maybe every three or four months.

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Do you come up with the ideas for the pieces, or do they suggest them to you? We kind of talk about it together. They come up with things that are happening around the country. Basically, their theme is to be a fish out of water. Put me in situations that I would never, ever be in naturally. The last one just did was covering a square dancing convention on Oregon. That airs this Wednesday night. The last one I saw was when you went to the line waiting for Star Wars…. Right, that was very fun. How hectic is your life right now? The last six weeks have been pretty insane. The book tour has just been amazing.

Luckily, I can go and do a club in front of people, as opposed to a Borders, where sometimes only 15 or 20 people show up. I never, ever dreamt of being a stand-up comedian. Actually, somebody just gave me her CD. The book is very funny, but does it feel a little weird letting people in on some very personal experiences?

"SEXY" TINDER DATE TURNS ONE NIGHT STAND - STORYTIME - CATHY EVANS

Very self-deprecating. I have had plenty of experiences.

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I wanted to do something that I would be interested in reading. So I must be doing something wrong…. Chelsea laughs. Ruth and come to you with all these sex questions? Another girl had a one-night-stand with one of her best friends and was asking advice. God forbid.

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I just wanted to share some of my stories. I just wanted it to be about the stories that happened to me, and share them. I know you said you are in New Jersey now. Are you visiting home? How has your family reacted to the way they were portrayed in the book?

They all have very good senses of humor.

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They are very quiet and conservative. Good for you for being a woman and not being timid about it. He likes the fact that I can take a humiliating experience and make it funny. Why do you think that weddings are of such mythic importance to many women? I know what you mean. Everything has gotten so carried away. It seems to have lost some of its sheen. Buy us gifts. Go buy me a ceiling fan or a bottle of vodka. Because everybody who goes to these weddings ends up bitching about it.

It totally backfires. Going, "C an you believe we spent this money or that money. No gifts. Just come and booze it up with me. Good quality alcohol time. What would upset your father more, if you brought home the midget or brought home George W. Would the midget be black or white? Okay, why not black…. I know that. I think he just stays out of it.

I noticed that you had a tendency to refer to a lot of the guys by nicknames — the midget, the Turtle, Thunder. Were you protecting the innocent or just forgetting the names? I mean I did have a lot of nicknames. I did definitely have to change names. I changed all the names. Legally, I had to.

Most of them. You have to kind of do that legally. But the nicknames — Turtle, Dumb Dumb; all those nicknames are true. I think one of my exes may have roomed with Dumb Dumb the nickname Chelsea gave to a former roommate. How do two such different people end up living together and how did you keep from going crazy?

I think eventually I did go crazy. I think we both went crazy. We were the odd couple. We were so different. We met waitressing at a restaurant. We had a very sisterly relationship. It was very sisterly like that.