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This is a listing of all of the episodes of the television sitcom All in the Family, which originally aired on CBS from
Table of contents

Edith : More then than now. Edith : I'm sorry, Archie. I ain't myself today. Archie : That might be an improvement, Edith. Mike : Doubleheader today, huh, Arch? Archie : What do you mean by that? Mike : You're going to cheat the insurance company and Ma.

All In The Family S3E07 - 'Edith Flips Her Wig'

Deliveryman : Look at this, Angelo. A whole half a buck. Angelo : Why don't you tell Archie what he can do with it? Deliveryman : I'd rather see him do it with the TV set. Archie : to Edith How is it always when you do the best thing, it turns out the worst? Gloria : to Mike, about his appendix If it's gotta go, it's gotta go.

Why hang on to something that's useless? Archie : That's what I've been asking you ever since you married him.

Gloria : Michael, that's our money. We each contribute in our own way. Archie : That's right. You contribute deposits, he contributes withdrawls. Archie : All them surgeons, they're highway robbers. Why do you think they wear masks when they operate? Archie : McKenzie costs more because the best always cost more.

ABC staging All in the Family, Good Times episodes for live holiday-themed special | leondumoulin.nl

That's how you tell what's good in America: it costs more. Edith : I wonder what they say when they sneeze Archie : Who's that, Edith? Edith : The Chinese. I mean, do they say "God bless you" or "Buddha bless you"? Archie : You really wanna know, the Chinks just sneeze and say nothing.

They can't speak English. Mike : Why couldn't they say "Buddha bless you" in Chinese? Archie : Because they don't say that, that's why. If they say anything at all, it's "Sayonara". Mike : That's Japanese. Archie : Same thing. Mike : It's NOT the same thing. Archie : You put a Jap and a Chink together, you're going to tell me which is which? Mike : That's right, because I find out about them.

I talk to them as individuals. Archie : Sure, you'd talk to them. You'd say, "Which one of you guys is the Chink? Archie : Why don't you take a short walk on a long pier? Mike : C'mon, Archie, two measly dollars.

All in the Family

Didn't you ever bet on anything? Archie : Yes I bet that my daughter would marry a human being and lost! Henry Jefferson : Bunker, you ain't going to get away with this. You've been cheating us for years! Archie : What are you talking about? You've only been on the block for two years. Henry : I'm talking about how you white people come to Africa to steal us, and then when you was through stealing us, and when we went around to watch you, you stolen our whole country!


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Archie : This is one of the greatest days of my life. Edith : That's wonderful. What is it?

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Archie : Oh, boy, sensational news. Are you ready? Edith : Yeah, I can hardly wait. Archie : Remember Hank Phillips from the gas station? Archie : He's dead. Edith : Oh my! Mike : A guy dies and you're happy? Archie : Will you wait a minute, I didn't say that. I'm only happy because the guy can't bowl no more. That's all. See, I'm waiting six years to get a spot on this special bowling team, and now there's a spot opened up. I'm sorry the guy is dead, but that's life. Mike : Arch, it's discrimination keeping out a guy because of what he is.

Archie : They don't keep nobody out because of what he is. They keep a guy out maybe because of what he ain't. Like, for instance if he ain't a good bowler, he ain't gettin' in—and if he ain't white and Protestant. What could be fairer than that? Mike : Letting in anybody in, no matter what color he is, no matter what religion he is. That's what this country is supposed to be about. Archie : Get out of here, that's only for the civil service. Duval : Archie! Aren't you going to introduce me to your family? Your wife Louise looks charming!

Archie : Jean, listen. Her and me ain't married. Duval : Even better! She gave you a fine-looking son anyway. Archie : She never gave me nothing but chicken soup here. Lionel, tell Jean you ain't my son. Lionel : Okay, whatever you say, Pop. Archie : Where's Gloria? Mike : Oh, she said she'd stop by on her way from work.

Archie : I wish you could say you'd stop by on the way from work. Mike : sarcastic You know Arch, it's really a thrill visiting you. Edith : Everybody has a little trouble seeing the words close-up after they pass a certain age. Archie : I told you, it ain't age! It's the ink they use in the newspaper. Edith : I've needed glasses for years, and you're older than I am. Archie : That's only because I was born first.