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Traditional dads see completing domestic duties as one of the best ways to love their wife sacrificially. Most dads hold significant responsibility in caring for the daily needs of their children. is being alone with their wife, so they are excited for the kids to grow up. Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well.
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If a father is strong and valiant, she will relate closely to men of the same character. Boys will seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. If a father is caring and treats people with respect, the young boy will grow up much the same. Our practice is foc used on assisting families in the health and wellness of their children.

We are available for consultation, prevention and treatment of the physical and emotional health concerns of infants, children, adolescents and young adults. Fathers Set the Bar for Relationships with Others Fathers not only influence who we are inside, but how we have relationships with people as we grow. Fathers and Their Daughters Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. The extra aggressive treatment creates more maintained anger, fear, anxiety, and preparation for defense.

These layers take up real mental energy leaving less mental energy for thinking, learning, and reflection time. This is a new thought that goes against our present genetics models or thought that stress only occurs during some situation. The combined more aggressive treatment and less communication creates more activity for stress relief; higher muscle tension that hurts handwriting; and a lower social vocabulary that hurts communication, reading, and writing.

The higher average stress and admonitions to simply try harder also create for many boys and improper pace and intensity in approaching newer mental work. This then exacerbates their already higher average stress hurting more so their learning and motivation to learn or mental reward received for mental work expended. The lags in those areas will show up early but not seen readily by parents. Then when the child reaches middle school the lack of accumulation of academic skills begins to show its ugly head when those boys are then cast off into lower academic classes.

What A Middle School Boy Needs Most from His Parents. - Monica Swanson

Another problem for boys is the granting of love and honor only on condition of some achievement. Support is not given for fear of coddling boys. Boys then reach middle school with the false idea they are just not able or not trying hard enough, when the problem is really very long-term, differential treatment from infancy through adulthood which is given boys to make them tough. Those boys then feel they are not able and in those classrooms where they are being sectioned off in to lower classes, they learn early they are as respected by teachers by being given more busy work and more patronizing treatment by their teachers.

They are also recognizing their peers in other classes who are doing better. Those boys then give up, for they feel like failures. We must begin providing boys with the same kind, stable, verbal interaction, and care, we are providing our girls. We must remove the false genetic models which are leaving out the truth of how our individual environments and differential treatment do really affect thinking, learning, motivation, and mental health. We must begin providing tools to help students continually improve their lives by showing them how they can begin more permanently reducing many non-essential layers of maintained mental work and altering to a proper dynamics their pace and intensity in approach newer mental work.

How to Be a Modern Parent

My theory will go to all. My very loving fun middle schooler is really having a hard time with chores.


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He will either have dishes or laundry as a daily chore and then as weekly chores, he cleans up after the dog, cleans his room, and cleans a half bathroom. He whines, complains and bikers almost daily about this ,he will be 13 in about 2 months. Please help, any advice would be appreciated. Hi Hollie—You are not alone…This is not unusual and honestly it is why a lot most? You know his currency, so this might be adding a dirty job to his chore-list which he is required to do before he plays with friends or on a device, or taking away an activity, or whatever you think would make him most uncomfortable.

I think that middle school boys want to be encouraged from their parents and that is why I think encouraging them to read good books is a great start. If middle school kids read books that they like it may enhance them to read more. I am really at a hard place in parenting. My son is in 7th grade, so smart, tall and good looking.. I pray and pray about this but nothing changes. The kicker is he does his homework- he forgets to turn it in!! I am just at my wits end.

Thank you for commenting. You are not alone—this can be a very challenging stage, and sometimes boys especially seem to be forgetful and so spacey during the middle school years! Hang in there. Do NOT blame yourself, my goodness—that will not help anything. If you have genuine concerns, like if you see changes in his behavior or attitude, then you might consider seeing a counselor to help figure out if there are underlying issues.

What A Middle School Boy Needs Most from His Parents.

I think as he gets older and finds subjects that he really enjoys you might find he does better in school. I do understand your frustration but try to keep perspective. If he is a good kid, staying out of trouble and you have a good relationship, that is amazing. Much aloha-. Of all things and he reads fluently and has an excellent vocabulary!

Thank you for this. My oldest is 12 and In the last month have noticed changes. We have homeschooled and 2 days ago my husband and son decided public school was okay and he is enrolled starting Monday. I cannot stop crying. I have lost this boy I knew. My boy who loved to snuggle and talk. He loves to read and I feel like I want to go back and do it over.

I miss him already. The pain I feel is unreal. I may not survive this season in life. Oh Jen, I wish I could hug you right now. First of all, you can always come back to homeschooling. You might need to step back and just pray and process all of this and see how it goes. You may be totally surprised at how well this goes You never know!

I also think you and your husband need to be able to communicate with mutual respect—sounds like a good time to get a third party in on the conversation. I think as women we are more emotional and our guys can be more objective—which is good and bad, but you both need to hear the other one. Hang in there but do not panic. My husband and I have 3 boys 12, 10, and 9 and 1 girl 8. Your article was very helpful.

Thank you Chandra! So glad you enjoyed the article. What an incredible family lineup you have. My problem is his grades he has a 3. Hi Kathy—Best advice I have right off is to just find a good time to talk about what is going on underneath the grades…Is he distracted, lost interest…is there a bad influence? Give him lots of support and a safe place to share and then listen. You might be able to help him set goals with rewards. It might be good to talk about jobs and college and help him get excited about being an excellent student.

Keep me posted and I wish you all the best!! Could u do an article like this for autistic kids? That would really help. Mick, I am so sorry you feel that way. I do hope you can show the post to your parents and that they hear your feelings. I am not an expert on autism but perhaps I will have someone guest post on this one day.

Monica, I loved this blog about Middle School boys.

Step 1: Listen without interjecting

I have an 11 year old who I am struggling with … freedoms, girls and friends, it felt like none of this was there last week and one week later it all came knocking at my door. I adore this boy and as his parents we want him to feel love, encouraged and supported but we are not convinced about his maturity and responsibility level. I love the tip about activities and he just moved schools so I need to get to know his new friends quickly. I look forward to reading more. Thank you!!! I have two boys, with my eldest preparing for 6th grade in August. Bless your wise words and family!


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    8. Thank you for this article. Your advice is so in line with my parenting style. My 11 year old starts middle school in 2 months.