Guide Extenuating Circumstance: The Only Man She Trusts (Candace Mia Book 487)

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While the divorce rate has fallen over the last several decades, plenty of couples still don't pass the test of time. Fortunately, the odds as to whether or not you divorce are not a matter of pure chance, but something you can improve with intentionality. My guest has some research-backed advice on how. We then discuss communication skills you can use to defuse these common marital conflicts, including uncovering hidden issues and establishing ground rules for arguments.

Scott then makes the case that in addition to mitigating conflict, happy couples need to focus on creating positive encounters with one another. Why do some NFL teams dominate year after year? Some would chalk it up to talent, but my guest today says it all comes down to the culture the head coach intentionally develops for the entire organization.


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For over three decades, Lombardi has worked as a general manager or coach for various NFL teams and alongside some of the greatest coaches of the game, including Bill Walsh, Al Davis, and Bill Belichick. Today on the show, Michael walks us through what these coaches did to develop high performing teams and how those lessons can apply to leaders in other kinds of organizations as well.

We begin our conversation discussing how legendary 49ers coach Bill Walsh created standards of performance and a culture of excellence that turned the worst team in the league into Super Bowl champions within two years. Michael then shares the qualities top coaches and players possess, and how recruiters of every kind can really figure out whether or not someone will be successful at the next level. Michael then shares what leaders can learn from Walsh's innovating West Coast offense, why Belichick obsesses about special teams, how he and Nick Saban came up with a new approach to defense, and how Belichick prepares for games and fights complacency.

We also get into the importance of how a QB carries himself, and why it's important to begin a drive down the field with an energizing play. We end our conversation with Michael's predictions for the future of football, including how we're starting to see a return to the game's rugby roots.

Whether sitting next to someone on the subway, mingling at a wedding, or chatting around the water cooler, chances to make conversation and new friends abound in our lives. But how do you meet and talk to people without being awkward about it? My guest today has spent over three decades teaching people from all walks of life how to make small talk and socialize.

We begin our conversation discussing where Don sees people have the most problems with starting and sustaining conversations, as well as whether these issues have or haven't changed over the last thirty years.


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    • Don then walks us through how you can make yourself more approachable for small talk, why body language is so key in this area, and the best way to give a handshake. We then discuss how to break the ice with someone you've just made contact with, how to handle rejection, and how to remember people's names after you meet them. Don then shares how to keep the conversation going by offering up and homing in on certain keywords. We end our conversation, with how to end a conversation. The standard route to success in modern life goes as follows: work hard in high school, score high on your SAT, get into a good college, do well in your classes, get a good job.

    For some people, that path works, but for a lot of people, it leaves them disengaged and frustrated because it doesn't actually lead to a life of fulfillment. My guest today has spent his academic career studying individuals who have bucked the standard formula for achievement and found success on their own terms. His name is Todd Rose. We begin our conversation discussing what Todd calls the "Standardization Covenant," including how it developed to serve institutions rather than individuals and why following the standard path often leads to frustration.

    Have you ever walked into a room to get something, only to forget why you walked into that room in the first place? Do you constantly forget where you parked your car in a parking garage? Or have trouble remembering people's names? He shares the overarching system he recommends to improve your ability to retain information, and how to use it to remember where you parked, people's names, and the items on your to-do list. Nelson also explains the reason we forget what we walked into a certain room to get, and what to do if that happens to you.

    He should know: he's a former con man himself.

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    After he served time for his crimes, he dedicated the next 50 years of his life to helping the government and businesses fight fraud. Today on the show Frank gives us the inside dirt on a bunch of different modern cons, from romance scams to investment fraud to scams involving rental properties. He reveals the insidious ways that scammers have gotten more sophisticated with their cons, the red flags to look for when you're approached with one, and how to avoid getting duped.

    And he explains why he's never used a debit card. When we seek an example of great leadership, one man who often comes to mind is Winston Churchill -- the iconic, visionary prime minister, who guided his country through war and stood firmly for his beliefs and impervious to his critics. But how did Winston become the legendary British Bulldog? His name is Andrew Roberts , he's a journalist and historian, and we begin our conversation discussing why he thought another Churchill biography was needed.

    Andrew then explains how Churchill also became one of the 20th century's great historians and how his appreciation of history and sentimental outlook colored his worldview and shaped his leadership. We also discuss why Churchill was one of the few leaders to foresee the threat that Hitler posed. We end our conversation discussing whether some of the current criticisms of Churchill, such as the allegation that he masterminded genocide in India, really hold weight. I've been using the tactics and strategies that he laid out in the book in managing tasks and, well, getting things done, ever since.

    David's out with a new workbook to accompany his classic bestseller, and I have the pleasure to speak with him today about his philosophy and system for managing life.

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    We begin our conversation discussing how David came up with the GTD system in the first place and how it differs from other time management systems out there. David then explains what the "mind like water" mantra is about and how the GTD system helps you clear your head. We then dig into the specific steps of getting things done, including capturing ideas, clarifying tasks into action, organizing those actions, reflecting on your action list, and, of course, taking action!

    This is a time management system I can personally endorse, so if you're not familiar with it or have fallen off the GTD wagon, I recommend giving this show a listen. When Paul Kalanathi was 36 years old, he was on the cusp of finishing a decade's worth of training to become a neurosurgeon -- a profession he felt called to. But then he learned he had terminal stage four lung cancer. In a single moment, everything changed in his life. For the next twenty two months, Paul and his wife Lucy grappled with how to live life even when you know you have limited time left.

    In his last few months, Paul wrote a memoir about this search for meaning in life and death, as well as his experience as a medical student, neurosurgeon, and cancer patient. Today, I talk to Paul's widow, Dr. Lucy Kalanathi, about Paul's journey to uncover insights about meaning and significance during his time as both doctor and patient. Along the way, Lucy shares insights about the human side of healthcare, delivering and receiving bad news, and how your identity and sense of self changes when you're diagnosed with a terminal disease.

    She also shares her experience of being a widow and of the grieving process, as well as what to say and not say to someone who's grappling with a tragedy. Quick, name the president who's on the dime. Or think about the letters and numbers on your license plate.

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    Were you stumped for a moment? Our struggle to notice what's around us is even worse in our Smartphone Age, where we often have tunnel vision that limits itself to a little handheld screen. My guest today wrote a book that aims to help us recapture the keen use of our senses. Rob and I begin our conversation discussing what it means to notice and the benefits that come from noticing. We then spend the rest of the conversation walking through several exercises you can start doing today to strengthen your noticing muscles, including creating observational scavenger hunts and collections.

    Rob also suggests several ways to notice overlooked things at museums and why looking at the world like there's a dramatic heist about to go down causes you to notice more in your environment.

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    We all know people who have a certain magnetism and charisma. His name is Matthew Kohut and today on the show he explains why it is we find the combination of strength and warmth so attractive in others, and how we can cultivate these traits ourselves, including in the way we dress, carry ourselves, and talk. Matt then gives advice on how to display strength and warmth in different situations we might find ourselves in, from acing a job interview to managing a crisis at work. We end our conversation with that most perennial question of body language: what to do with your hands when you speak.

    In an effort to get more done and be our best selves, many of us have turned to "life hacks" that we find in blogs, books, and podcasts. I've personally experimented with several life hacks in the past decade, and we've even written about some on AoM. My guest took a look at both the positives and negatives of life hacking in his book, Hacking Life: Systemized Living and Its Discontents. We begin our conversation with a history of the life hacking movement and how blogging in the early s made this obscure cultural movement amongst computer programmers go mainstream.

    Joseph then discusses how he distinguishes between "nominal life hacking" and "optimal life hacking" and between "geeks" and "gurus. We also discuss how the minimalism movement can sometimes lead to contradictory impulses, and end our conversation talking about how using spiritual practices like meditation or Stoicism as hacks can strip them of their deeper contexts.

    Which should you do first when you work out -- cardio or weights? How long does it take to get in shape? How long does it take to get out of shape? How important is your form when you run? Does exercise really contribute to fat loss? Does music help or hurt your athletic performance?