I Do...: Questions for the Biggest Day of Your Life

When you take care of yourself and make sure you're happy, you'll have a good life. You won't be jealous of others. You'll smile every day.
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This, I suspect, is profound even beyond the examples of day-to-day worship that he gives to prove his point.

He talks about money, power, beauty, and intellect as superficial artifacts of our unconscious obsession, but real-life worshiping goes a step further, and it, too, applies to everyone. We are all constantly trying to make sense of the world around us. Worshiping is our way of adding cohesion to what is otherwise scattered, and for better or worse, it guides everything else we do.

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There is a word in behavioral science I was recently introduced to that labels our lack of linguistic and cognitive model of something: You can see an object or an idea and still not realize its significance or its meaning unless you have developed the mental machinery to put it into the functional context that it needs to be in to provide you with utility. That said, in order to survive, we need to make it less complex and strange. We lay a foundation, one based on some sort of a belief, and we then build our life on top of it. We put our faith in God or reason or love, and we use these foundations to fuel action and commitment and orientation, while conveniently ignoring that the source of our foundation is still hypocognitive to the other parts of reality that contradict us.

We may be able to explain some of these other aspects away here and there, but due to the mere fact that there has been so much disagreement about what is true and what is real over the course of history, we can only be sure of one thing: We have a good reason to be skeptical about everything. Questions and answers drive the human mind.

If you formulate a question in a way that can be answered, you can temporarily come to a happy conclusion.

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The problem, however, is that no matter what answer you settle on, you can always ask another question, and another, and another. Questions are by default open-ended while answers are close-ended. But every answer can be re-opened with a new question. Given how vast the universe is and how little of it we actually understand when it comes to the really fundamental questions, this game can be played again and again, leading only to what is nonsensical.

There is always something more, and what distinguishes people and what they worship is when they stop asking the next question.

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No vehicle of worship can ever reasonably contend to be about the capital T-truth. That said, any religion is only as useful as its functionality. It all begins with the question of what it is we worship, a question we all answer either explicitly, by abiding to some philosophical framework, or implicitly, by how we live and what we pay attention to.

Given that the world is mostly incomprehensible, there is always another question to ask in regards to what it all means, how it all works, and the optimal way to live. This applies no matter where you draw the line. The gist of this ties into something Albert Einstein once wrote:.

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What health habits can you drop or add to your daily lifestyle to improve your condition, and minimize your risk for getting sick or requiring medication? We are the average of the people closest to us. Are your closest friends a reflection of your value system and your goals for your life? How are you contributing, even in a small way, to making life better for others? How are you living your life in such a way that it is not all about your own personal gain? Service to others is the easiest way to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, which is directly linked to happiness. Is there someone in your life you have wronged?


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If yes, then that is an open wound for both parties. Can you step forward to apologize and to find closure before you turn the calendar? Who must I thank, either for forgiveness, or for making a positive difference in my life or in the life of someone I love? Who in your life deserves your appreciation? If someone has measurably impacted your life in a positive way, it is a gift to both of you to share your gratefulness.

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How have you been punishing yourself? Can you reach a place of self-forgiveness through self-compassion? Can you create a clean slate of self-acceptance? What do I finally need to accept and embrace about myself, rather than seeing it as a weakness? We are all our own worst critics.

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This inner critic never serves us. What can you finally accept about yourself, and perhaps even come to love and appreciate? Can you start now? What is one quantum leap forward I have achieved since this time last year?