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Millions of people have not actually met a follower of Jesus, nor understood this faith, the faith of one third of the world's population. But hundreds of thousands of.
Table of contents
When Max gets a crazy idea to teach them both a dance routine for a contest, how can Cosmo refuse, stiff hips or no? Told in the open, optimistic, unintentionally humorous voice of a golden retriever, I, Cosmo will grab readers from the first page — and remind them that love and loyalty transcend whatever life throws your way. I've always been a sucker for dogs on book covers and this was no exception. Going into this read, I was a bit nervous but could you blame me after "Marley and Me". You can't. Nevertheless, this Tom : On reflection, I don't think the safari park was a good idea.
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Reggie : Oh thank you. That's very helpful. It's hardly started yet. We've got the monkeys on the roof to come yet, rubbing themselves against the aerial, doing their poopie-plops all over my windscreen. Elizabeth : They have stopped to look at a pride of lions Ooh, look! Look at the nice lions! Tom : Please don't say that.
Lions aren't nice.
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Tom : Well, of course it is. Linda : Don't be absurd, Dad. The car stalls, and steam comes from under the bonnet. Tom : It's overheated. Reggie : Thank you, Stirling Moss. Tch, I've seen livelier lions in Trafalgar Square! Lions that won't move, cars that won't start. Oh to hell with it, I'm going out.
Tom : Is that altogether wise? Reggie : Look, the animals are all probably doped anyway, and in any case I'm going out, alright? To a world blessedly free of garlic, and sweat, and poopie- plops. And if you don't like it you can stick it in your pipe, stick a clove of garlic up your Reggie gets out and faces the lions.
Come back! The lions stand and start to charge him.
A ranger shoots the nearest lion. Reggie races back to the car. Reggie : I'm sorry. Elizabeth : It's alright. I understand. Elizabeth : I know how you feel. With a Sunday due to be spent at his mother-in-law's, Reggie makes an excuse to stay home, and invites his secretary Joan Greengross over for an affair. But things don't quite go according to plan. Reggie : A nswering front door Hello, Joan. Come in. Joan : Hello, Mr. Reggie : Won't you sit down? Joan : she sits What's all this crisis about?
Reggie : Oh, you'll soon see. Would you like a sherry? Just a little one before we go upstairs? Joan : Upstairs? Reggie : Er, hot, isn't it? Joan : Oh, very.
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Reggie : Yes, a hot Sunday in summer. Joan : I don't know what all this is about, but I have come twenty miles. Can't we get straight down to it? Reggie : Yes, we'll get, er, we'll get straight down to it in a minute the phone rings. Excuse me. Oh, hello darling. Yes I'm getting along alright. No, I haven't had my dinner yet. Yes, of course. The pickle's on the shelf where you keep the pickle, in the jar marked 'pickle jar'. No, I'm not angry, I just happen No, you're not interrupting anything No, it's not a bad time to ring Goodbye darling.
That was my wife.
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Joan : So I gathered. Reggie : She's away for the day. The whole day. She's gone to visit the hippopotamus, er, her mother-in-law. She resembles a hippopotamus. Not Elizabeth, her mother. Elizabeth doesn't resemble a hippopotamus. More sherry? Joan : No thank you. Reggie : Certainly. Well this is nice Joan he sits next to her. Hot, isn't it? Joan : Well, it hasn't got a lot hotter in the last minute. Yes, I prefer the heat to the cold, I find it much, er Joan : Warmer? Reggie : Yes, warmer. Joan : What is this crisis all about, Mr. Reggie : There is no crisis, Joan he kisses her on the lips.
I'm sorry. Sorry, terribly sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Joan : Oh, Reggie! Why now, Reggie? Why, after all these years?
Reggie : It suddenly seemed such a waste. She pushes him back on the sofa. The phone starts to ring. Joan : Don't answer it! Reggie : No, to hell with it. No, I better had, it might be somebody he answers the phone. Hello, darling. No, I don't think I rang off abruptly.