PDF Winter in Yellowstone: Travels With Freddy - A Teardrop Travelogue

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Travels With Freddy Teardrop Travelogues have stunning color photos of state and federal lands. Winter in Yellowstone is a narrative and pictorial snowmobile.
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Hear the crew kick some serious ice in this, the first ever fan-written Rifftrax! Every quarter century or so a project comes along that so perfectly unites artist and medium that one can only stand in wonder and proclaim, "Wow, Sandra, when was the last time something this magical came along - quarter century or so, wasn't it? Mike and Weird Al join forces on the most colossally funny RiffTrax yet! That is, we feel confident saying that if you're old enough to enjoy Jurassic Park, you're old enough to enjoy this RiffTrax.

Like a previously worn diaper, The Matrix has been Reloaded! All your favorite characters are back wearing all your favorite unlaundered fetish costumes! Thrill as the Oracle and Neo have long drawn-out conversations to the effect of, "Yea, but if you know that what you know is unknowable, how can you know that what you don't know isn't unknowable, too, you know? Anderson"-saying role. Kevin, Mike and Bill re-load the RiffTrax recording studio for another go at the most Whoa-eriffic movie franchise ever!

For years we at RiffTrax have lived under the mistaken belief that we are Beowulf. So we were shocked when a cartoon version of Ray Winstone squeezed into a tiny pair of leather battle panties LBPs and set us straight in no uncertain terms. And he's right - HE. Though it took some getting used to the idea that we are not Beowulf, in all honesty it's been a whole lot more pleasant to come into the office and see pants where one once saw nothing but a sea of LBPs.

But if you haven't yet exceeded your limit, may we suggest you download our hilarious new RiffTrax for Beowulf in which a fully clothed Mike, Kevin and Bill take on our less than clothed hero, his extremely unclothed lizardy paramour played with big boobs gusto by Digi-lina Jolie , and a disappointingly unclothed Anthony Hopkins. All your favorite characters return Hoffman, Mr. Just what will his reaction be when he sees what they've done to his beautiful series?

Will he freak out and begin hitting Mike with a folding chair? Yes, he did, but we edited that out of this ArachnaRiffic Rifftrax and left only the funny!

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Mike, Kevin and Bill's RiffTrax was found by the Department of Defense and then thrown away, but we dug it out of a garbage can. Let's not get into the contentious issue of exactly who is Legend. No matter, the movie making the claim that it is Legend makes a strong case, bringing a pretty slick PowerPoint presentation featuring lots of shirtless Will Smith, a dog that can act, and plenty of slim-hipped digital zombies. Confronted with it all, Mike, Bill and Kevin slip into their own panic room and unseal a number 10 can of low-sodium whoop-ass in heavy syrup.

The epic story of tiny men doing very important things continues. You see, whereas one tower is the domain of a once great but now evil sorcerer who rules over an army of orcs and is bent on destroying man and taking possession of the One Ring, the other tower is the domain of a once great but now evil sorcerer who rules over an army of orcs and is bent on destroying man and taking possession of the One Ring, but - BUT - his name begins with an "S", and also contains the letters "a", "u", "r", "n", whereas the other tower guy's name begins with an "S", contains the letters "a", "u", "r", and "n" HAS NO "m" AND ADDS AN "o"!

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And the differences don't end there: one of the guy's names is seven letters whereas the other has six! Mike, Kevin, and Bill strap on the wizard's hats, snap into some fortifying lembas and head on the down the road that goes ever on and on Night Shalalalalalalalalalala-tee-da burst onto the scene with the biggest suspense thriller of well, right behind a relatively short list of films that includes Analyze This, Wild Wild West and Varsity Blues.

Haley Joel Osment delivers the most miraculous performance ever given by a toddler he was just 18 months old when he was nominated for the Oscar! When a guy in his underpants shoots a child psychiatrist who, to be clear, was also wearing underpants, he just happened to have pants on over them his life is turned upside down the guy wearing pants over his underpants, that is, not the guy only wearing underpants. Why does his wife seem withdrawn and narcoleptic? Why do the local children taunt him and call him "Casper"? Why does he seem tired, run down, just sort of dead?

Gary Collins apologizes for the confusion. Harry Potter is back with the second installment in the franchise that is worth more than the Tolkien, Roddenberry and Herge estates combined!

I mean, that performance? What the hell was that? Every scene he's in looks like someone from Are You Being Served forced at gunpoint to mug at a level that would make the cast of Police Academy blush. Watch Ron pull one face after another as he teams up with Harry, Hermione, Hagrid, and Hagar the Horrible to outwit an army of spiders, battle a giant lizard, and encounter an emo-chick who lives in a toilet. And what would a Harry Potter movie be without Quidditch? Answer: Better. Mike, Kevin, Bill and their respective self-mutilating house elves are here to riff until the Secret of the titular Chamber is revealed!

For most of us, the experience of waking up in a strange motel room, alone and disoriented, means that you were the victim of Chinese Organ Thieves. Inconvenient, sure, but kidneys are replaceable. You see, Leonard suffers from a rare form of amnesia, usually only found in protagonists in works of fiction. Unable to form any new memories, Leonard stumbles around Southern California, vowing after every meal that he will never eat a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish again. To be fair, he does have a slightly more pressing agenda than eating pre-formed patties of vague seafood: the attack that rendered him an amnesiac also resulted in the death of his wife.

Through an intricate system of tattoos and notes to himself, he hopes to one day track down the killer and after making him beg for mercy, ask them who they are, why he has this gun and if they know directions to the nearest McDonalds. Despite this being a barely coherent thought muttered by a bearded motel attendant, it's evidently license enough to tell you the entire story in reverse, making this Mike, Kevin and Bill's first ever xarTffiR!

Take Ocean's Thirteen, pare down its cast to a trim Ocean's Twelve, then take away one more and you've got Ocean's Eleven, the swingingest, hippest, don't-they-look-like-they're-having-fun movie since Cannonball Run II! And though it was long ago mathematically proven that Mike is the least hip person who has ever lived or will ever live, he was able to up his swank quotient considerably by enlisting the talents of Las Vegas lounge singer extraordinaire, Guest Riffer Richard Cheese!

Ow, it physically hurt to type that. The most adorable pirates you've ever seen take to the high seas to do battle with an army of walking skeletons to see who is thinner. Geoffrey Rush gives it his all -- that is he does his best impression of the pirate mascot standing outside the Long John Silver's at a strip mall in Oakbrook, Illinois, and respected actor Jonathan Pryce as the girlish British governor risks being stripped of the descriptive "respected".

Mike, Kevin and Bill strap on the cutlasses and swing away! In the tradition of I, Robot comes I, Ronman, the story of a shy college student who is bitten by a radioactive guy named Ron. Our hero's DNA is transformed, his body taking on the attributes of Ron until - hang on. Apparently we got that wrong and there's nothing remotely that cool going on here.

It's Iron Man and from what we're told it's just a guy in a metal suit. Kind of looks like a Transformer. Fights another guy who looks like a Transformer.

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And you get to see Gwyneth Paltrow's back. And it's directed by the guy who did Zathura. Not only that, it made a gajillion dollars, no doubt because people got confused and thought they were seeing I, Ronman. But Mike, Kevin and Bill put aside their collective disappointment over it not being I, Ronman and give it the most iron fortified RiffTrax yet! The Happening is a departure for director M. Night Shyamalan: he abandons his trademark conceit of the twist ending to tell a straight-forward tale of horror.

It's like going to a Gallagher show where he refuses to smash watermelons with a giant mallet. The only difference is that Gallagher's comedy is grim and depressing and The Happening is hilarious. Yes, the plants of the Northeastern United States are fed up with how we've been treating them and decide to simultaneously release a toxin that causes humanity to commit suicide in various comical ways.

Evidently this is something that is entirely scientifically valid, because a hot-dog obsessed lunatic says so at one point in time during the movie. Mark Wahlberg baffles as a Lemon Drink-eyeing science teacher and the part of Zooey Deschanel is ably played by a Tarsier. Mike, Kevin and Bill lend intentionally funny riffs to this masterpiece of unintentional comedy.

Unless there's some sort of real-life Happening, in which case they pre-emptively announce their allegiance to the plants. The most beloved franchise in film history returns to the screen and quickly becomes one generally well-liked franchise among many in film history! Yes, Indy is back, and this time he has a skull. Everyone wins! And because these are officially the silliest roles ever created we are lucky to have British and Australian actors stepping in to do the jobs Americans won't do.

Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen sink their teeth into their performances as though they were big helpings of spotted dick, and Huge Ackman scowls constantly like some sort of small angry mammal. As far as plot, this is essentially Angels in America with silly hats.

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Mike, Kevin and Bill form their own justice league to give this movie what for! The story of the Hulk is a complex one but we can know a few things for sure: Hulk smash and The Ed Norton version doesn't add much new information Hulk smash, we already knew that , nor did Ang Lee's Hulk bore. In order to get the full picture we must revisit the beloved late 70's TV version, specifically the episode "The Final Round" Season 1, Disc 2, Episode 3 for those Netflixing , in which we learn that Hulk befriend untalented boxer who literally dumber than half-full bag of hammers.

Oh, and, Hulk smash in slow motion. Mike, Kevin and Bill riff!