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One crosses the border to become a new person. One finishes a manuscript and cuts off the characters. One adopts a language.

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These are false and forced frameworks, providing illusory freedom, as time provides illusory leniency when we, in anguish, let it pass monotonously. She often directly pushes back against the disembodied arguments that call the act selfish or ungrateful. In many ways, Dear Friend, from My Life I Write to You in Your Life provides a much-needed different lens for thinking about mental illness in the sphere of ideas rather than buzzwords like self-love or self-care.

The perspective, at face value, is familiar: person-with-mental-illness-pens-memoir-after-suicide-attempts almost seems like a trope, albeit an important one. When I reached that chapter on language, I realized that I was a guest here, dwelling inside of her words.

Wishnow: A Memoir

It was not like reading a diary, a critique disproportionately wielded against female memoirists. Sign up for our newsletter to get submission announcements and stay on top of our best work. Enjoy strange, diverting work from The Commuter on Mondays, absorbing fiction from Recommended Reading on Wednesdays, and a roundup of our best work of the week on Fridays. Personalize your subscription preferences here.


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    Wishnow: A Memoir by Dennis Winegarner, Paperback | Barnes & Noble®

    Read Next. I curled my arms around my body as he stood over me like a titan and delivered the blows.

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    This was the only incident of its kind in our family. My father was never physically abusive toward my mother or sister and he was never again physically extreme with me.

    However, this beating and his worsening tendency to rages directed at my mother — which I heard in fright through the thin walls of our home — made me resolve, with icy determination, that only the most formal relationship would exist between my father and me, and for perhaps thirty years, neither he nor I did anything to repair the rift. The rest of my childhood, we hardly spoke; there was little he said to me that was not critical, and there was little I said back that was not terse or mumbled. When I graduated from high school, he offered to buy me a tuxedo.

    I refused because I had learned from him to reject all aid and assistance; he detested extravagance and pleaded with us not to give him gifts.