e-book Help! My Grandchild Has ADHD: What These Children and Their Parents Wish You Knew

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What should you know about your grandchild's ADHD? What do the parents of these children wish they could tell you? Loaded with practical advice and honest​.
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Hearing from people who have been there can help both uplift your spirits and give you concrete suggestions for your situation. Reach out in your community for childcare help. If you are a member of a church, synagogue or other religious organization, you may be able to ask around for available babysitters. Try library storytime hours, chatting up other parents at the playground, or asking your neighbors if they have a reliable teen available to babysit or if any parents are interested in a babysitting swap. Connect with parents with children.

Even if you feel like you are from a different generation, the joys and tribulations of raising children can quickly form common bonds. It may take time, but forging friendships with parents of similar aged children can offer camaraderie and help on navigating the maze of issues facing children today. Moving to a new home is never easy, even in the best of circumstances. When children are dealing with the loss of regular contact with their parent or parents, the move is even harder.

It will take some time for your grandchildren to adjust, and in the meantime, they may act especially contrary and difficult. And if the children have suffered from emotional neglect, trauma , or abuse, those wounds will not disappear just because they are now in a safe place.

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They will need time to heal. Your grandkids may resent being separated from their parent and wish to return, even if their home situation was dangerous or abusive. The parent-child bond is powerful. They may lash out with aggressive or inappropriate behavior , or they may withdraw and push you away. No matter their behavior, your grandkids need your comfort and support. If you start to get angry or upset, put yourself in their head. Remember that children often act out in a safe place. When grandkids first arrive, they may be on their best behavior.

As mentioned previously, this can be a sign that they finally feel secure enough to vent their true feelings. While it will take your grandkids time to adjust to their new living arrangement, there are steps you can take to make the transition easier. Above all, your grandchildren need to feel secure. Children thrive in an environment that is stable and predictable.

Establish a routine. Set a schedule for mealtimes and bedtimes. Create special rituals that you and your grandchildren can share on weekends or when getting ready for bed. Encourage their input in their new home.

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Having some control will make the adjustment easier. Set clear, age-appropriate house rules and enforce them consistently. Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Loving boundaries tell the child that he or she is safe and protected. Make sure that each grandchild has a private space.


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If grandchildren are sharing a bedroom, get creative: use a divider to partition off a private area in a bigger room, erect a playhouse in the backyard, or set up a tent in the family room. Offer your time and attention. You can be a consistent, reassuring presence for your grandkids. Try to make time to interact with them at the beginning of the day, when they come home from school, and before bed. Communicating openly and honestly with your grandchildren is one of the best things you can do to help them cope with their new situation.

In this difficult time, they need an adult they can go to with their questions, concerns, and feelings. Plan regular times when you sit and talk to each other, free from TV, phones, games, and other distractions. Encourage your grandchildren to talk about their feelings, both good and bad.

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Try to listen without judging or dismissing their feelings. Help your grandkids learn to identify their emotions.


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Is something bothering you? Young children communicate through play. Young children may not be able to verbalize how they feel, but will express themselves through their play. The following tips may help:. But in general, it is healthy for your grandchildren to maintain relationships with their parents, especially if they may live with them again. Avoid venting issues or saying critical things about the parent in front of your grandchild. This can be confusing and distressing for the child.

Contact with parents will be less stressful for children if they know what to expect.

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If possible, plan visits well in advance and put them on a regular schedule. Even when kids are looking forward to a visit or call, it can bring up many feelings, including uncertainty and nervousness. Be there to reassure them. Help your grandchild deal with disappointment.

Instead, talk with your grandchild about what happened and how they feel about it. Covers legal issues, family challenges, and how to find support. If the assessment doesn't address your needs as a carer, you can ask for your own carer's assessment. Get tips on caring for a disabled child. Time away from your child can often be beneficial for you both.

Being overwhelmed and exhausted by your caring responsibilities can affect your health. If family and friends can't always step in, respite care may be a possibility. Your GP or social worker will be able to discuss all the options and organise the care. Alternatively, you could pay for respite care privately. Find out more about carers' breaks and respite care.

There are lots of organisations specifically aimed at single parents, including those with disabled children, such as Gingerbread that can provide information and advice. Local support groups provide the opportunity to talk to other single parents. Some run drop-in centres or offer home visits.


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Your local group may also publish a newsletter covering activities in your area or providing help with organising respite care. For more support, call Gingerbread's single parent helpline on or Contact on Single parents of disabled children may be entitled to a range of benefits. Check using GOV. UK's online benefits calculators.

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If you work and have a child aged 16 or under, or you have a disabled child aged under 18 and are claiming PIP, you have the right to ask your employer for a flexible working pattern. This includes changing the time, or number of hours or days you work, or applying for a job share. Grandparents sometimes assume full-time care of their grandchildren. Looking after children can be a physical and financial strain at any age but particularly if you're older.

Advice and support on being the sole carer of a grandchild is available from Grandparents Plus. It's natural to be concerned about your child's future if they are born with an illness or disability, or diagnosed at an early age. It's worth asking your local authority for an assessment of your child's needs and for your needs as a carer. The local authority should consider the needs of your whole family, especially if you have other children who may be young carers themselves. Find contact details for your local authority. Many young people who have disabilities live independent lives, while others may always need significant care.