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What do you do if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, but she has a new Part 1: The Mistakes That will Push your Ex Girlfriend into Another Man's Arms.
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His mother committed suicide when he was two and he was left in the care of his family and his father was never really in his life, so I always tried to understand that that could play a huge part in why he is the way he is. Just this past April we finally got our own apartment and things when quickly down hill. Did I make the wrong decision?

But I also have depression and anxiety that he has begged me to get help with and I always took it as an attack on me…what should I do? I know and understand that relationships take hard work and attention and sacrifices on both ends, kind of like a garden, it needs to be constantly kept up and watered and nurtured and takes more than just one person to make it flourish. And I know patience is a key aspect and especially love and understanding.

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And was I right for leaving? It feels like all I needed was a break…. Melissa, first of all, thank you for trusting me enough to share your story. I honor you for that! And since then, you have been playing the guessing game in your own life on what LOVE actually looks like. But the relationship you have fallen into is NOT love… you just fell for someone who just happens to be playing the same guessing game on love too… The reason you left the relationship and the reason you are messaging me, is because deep inside you KNOW this is not love, yet the ego in you wants instant connection… which is why you more than likely will get back with him I hope for your sake AND his you do not but that is whats more than likely going to happen because the EGO will win if we allow it to which is NOT what we want directing our life.

YOUR truth wants more… You know there is something else, again the reason you messaged me. But guess what babe, that has to start with you. You have to be the first to give yourself that unconditional love. Again, we stay in relationships not just intimate we feel treat us better than how we treat ourselves. And if thats the case.. Thats where you have to begin…. I need some help! A year later we reconnect and get back together. It has been six months and I am currently not sure if he is the person I want to spend my life with. I feel lost and stuck!!! I have been in a relationship on and off for 15 years with the father of my son who is now I recently broke up with him bc he has been talking to girls.

He jas been doing this to me throughout our entire relationship. When we did get back together things fo right baxk to like it was. Deep in my heart I know its best to separate but my heart is in so much pain and I feel so confused. Thanks Arlin. I have a question, My husband and I split apart 2 months ago.

We met in church and gotarrived quickly. We got married 6 months into our relationship and 6 months after marriage, we split apart. He was going through an addiction problem on hardcore drugs. This was actually kept a secret.

After we got married, I found our about his struggle with this drug. He would go long times without it and then kind of binge. However, after I got fed up with this and his behavior towards me. He was controlling and made me feel like the most loved person but trapped at the same time by not trusting me and questioning literally my every move. We actually both agreed this was from his past sins in past relationships. Anyway, my question is do you think I should try to savey marriage. I actually feel free not being with him, not so much happier because I work with him and I see him everyday and I get sad daily thinking of how much he hurt me and we were very in love at one point like it was surreal like the love in a fantasy.

He says he wants me back and would never do anything again to hurt me..

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YET he came into work smelling like alcohol. Do you think I made a wise choice rather than help him through this? You can only help someone who wants it, but even then, if they are being completely toxic to you and your spirit, then you should not be intimately involved. I definitely agree with your choice to not be apart of this relationship anymore because essentially you are saying you deserve more than this, which you are right. But until you understand what in you attracted this type of behavior in the first place, you will constantly settle with less than you deserve.

Do I think you are equipped to help him? Probably not, so your choice to separate yourself sounds like a good one but you can always pray for him. Again, he has to WANT to be helped. We have money issues, trust issues, and by far the communication issues are our biggest delima. In the beginning of our relationship I did things that caused him not to trust me, understandably of coarse. However, it has left our relationship rocky. I feel that I try my best at having a healthy relationship with him however I believe he has a narcissism problem.

He wants to control many parts of my life. He constantly pushes my issues, my opinions, and my needs and wants aside. He says very hurtful things to me on the daily. However by doing that I eventually blow up and we get into a full blown battle with name calling and sometimes monthly well get physical. Now for the past maybe 6 months I have told him many tines that I think it would be better for us to go our separate ways.

He blackmails me into staying, using the kids, being sweet for a day or two to hook me back in to being with him.

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However, I just do not see a way to make a healthy relationship with him. We even do things to try and make our relationship better but we seem to still be caught in the cycle of heated and physical arguments. I would like to know if you think this relationship has room to grow or if I need to get out? Any advice would be very greatly appreciated! And he kept joking how he is going to break up with me. I kept forgiving him and forgiving and every once in a while, he would tell me to break up with him and to give up. Is it worth fighting anymore?

I feel like if I leave him, I will gain freedom and I can focus on my studies more often than I do now. Great questions. However, found to not be able to answer some because I feel so empty. For example when you asked what is that you will be losing if you left the relationship, my answer was nothing. It is my wedding in 4 months, but I decided I need to take a break because I felt like I was not being valued.

It took me so long, 8 years, to finally see it the guy that I want to be with is not the person I want to be for a lifetime. Is it late now?

2. Dropping “hints” and other passive-aggression

The things that bothered me, I brought to his attentions more than three times, such as hey lets have date nights, did not expect him to take me to high end nice resturants every time, but wanted to know that he cares and want to have some nice time with me. But every time he wanted to have people around and hookah bars are the only place he can socialize. I am not saying we did not have any date nights at all, no, we did but ended up with work or car conversations.

In a 8 year relationship, he did not get me flowers till I told him hey for valentine you buy your girl flowers and for the first time he got me flowers 2 years ago. I work an hour 30 minute away and he leaves 10 minutes away, told him when we get married lets have our place in between so I get home a little early and have time to my daily things, but he said no because our kids need to go to a great school we do not even have kids and not planning on having anytime soon and even if I have it tomorrow, the kids do not go to school till they are 6. I think to myself where do I stand?

After talking and taking a break for 40 days now, I still do not know what decision to make. I saw him a couple of times he says he has changed, we will live somewhere close to my workplace, he will do things he has not, how am I suppose to believe him?

I do not want him to do things based on fear, based on wanting to keep me around. My parents say I should have saw these earlier, and the thing is I did and I told him but he never took it serious.

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Sex is not even fun or exciting of passionate, because its been always the way he wanted even tho I told him what I like and dislike. I do not feel like getting ready when he says oh we are going out, because we always ended up at hookah bars. I feel like my relationship is on cruz control and everything has became blah… Please advise me to make a better decision. Thanks a bunch! Looking for advise. I am 25 years old, and have been with my BF for 7 months. I was so excited to have finally found a guy that loved me and made me feel so so special.