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Nov 6, - 2. "All the insecurities and negative thoughts will slowly eat you apart. She ended up cheating on me again, and I felt heartbroken again. "My husband and a very short emotional affair with a coworker — she started texting.
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It takes everything you've got to just breathe, to stem the bleeding, to tuck your kids into bed at night without curling up beside them weeping. But I couldn't let them see me like that. Because we didn't tell our children. They were too young. I figured they would find out eventually when our marriage fell apart, though I couldn't imagine telling them the whole story. Kick him out? Maybe later. But right now?

Right now, you just need to figure out how to get dressed for work, and make lunch for your preschoolers, and cancel the dentist appointment that you can't imagine going to with an affair-sized boulder in your gut. I hardly told anyone about my husband's affair, except my mother, who asked me one question: "Do you love him? But I didn't have the energy to fight for my marriage. I felt like I was fighting for my life. I lost weight, enough that people who'd previously said I looked "great" began to ask if I was OK.

I didn't tell them what was going on. I couldn't bear the pity or the scorn. That's another part of cheating that we don't talk about enough. Often times, people assume that if a man cheats, that means his wife was a shrew , a nag. She let herself go. The other woman was sexy and interesting.

He was trading up. Which is why it's so shocking to so many of us that our husbands cheated with someone who looked… well, ordinary. Because here's yet another thing nobody tells you about infidelity: He didn't cheat because there was something wrong with you, or even your marriage. He cheated because there was something wrong with him. And he thought he could find the answer in the fantasy of an affair.

I went to a therapist who urged me to give myself as long as I needed to sort this out, and to learn to trust myself. Trust myself? It took me four years to realize that my husband was having an affair. How could I ever trust myself? Six months after he admitted to the affair, my husband made an off-hand remark about visiting a strip club with a colleague several years prior.

I wondered. My husband didn't visit strip clubs. Or did he? It turned out, it wasn't just his assistant. There were others. He'd had this problem long before he'd even met me.

Were They Thinking of Me?

He was in therapy for sex addiction, he told me, curled up in the fetal position. His hands were covering his face as if to both contain his shame, and to protect himself from my anger, my shock, my disgust. Suddenly, I looked at this man—my children's father—and felt… pity. He was in pieces.

My husband has stopped cheating on me after 35 years

My children needed a whole father. I told him that I could only promise him that I would be his friend as he sought help for this. I figured that—once he was fully recovered—I would leave. For Alex, having her ex-husband move on meant taking control of her life again. As a stay-at-home mom for the majority of the time, she went out and got a job and went to therapy to focus on herself. And while many people who have been cheated take on the blame themselves, which she had also done, she later realized she had done nothing to make her husband cheat.

And no matter how much time has passed, how much advice or therapy you received, and how many people talk about your cheating wife or husband behind your back, moving on is a slow process that takes patience. This means not constantly bringing up the affair, but leaving it in the past. She has also learned how to be alone and be happy about it.

My husband cheated on me | Healing After My Husband's Affair

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Close X. Scroll back to top of the page Back to top. By Arti Patel Global News. Smaller font Descrease article font size - A. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children.


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After discussing the resolution with Dr Amigo, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! Everytime i dream of my husband hes always cheating with different women. Every single dream of him. Its always different women, some i know and some i dont. When i catch him in my dream he just continues on with what they r doing. It doesnt matter if i am heart broken and crying or angry or confused they just continue with it.

The answer for me, i think, is b3cause in real life my husband is selfish in bed. I am always coming onto him and making moves, but its never him advancing toward me. He doesnt touch me in places either. He doesnt do the things i know i like in bed, but the results r always the same. He has an orgasm and i never do. Ive done everything from shaving, cleansing, cute outfits, oils, i mean everything to change myself to make him want to do more or put more into my needs but he never does.

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I think my dreams come from low self esteem because of this and feeling unwanted sexually or not worth the time to please me. Does this dream make me look fat? Yvonne January 31, at pm. Justina March 1, at am. Kris April 26, at pm. This is really stressing me out. Maria Zamora October 21, at pm. Anastasia Quainoo February 22, at pm.

What do I do about this dream,because in my real life I think I have a good husband. Sunday September 8, at am.

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Lisa October 21, at pm. Maz November 9, at pm. Allana gill November 12, at pm.