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Table of contents
Lew, a tall, lanky man with a soft Missouri drawl, had a marvelous ability to make history come alive. He had an equally marvelous ability to inspire his students, and he was largely responsible for rescuing me from pursuing the social side of college life at the expense of the pursuit of knowledge.
So it was not without some apprehension that I greeted the news of March 13, Lew had been appointed dean of the college and his classes would be taken over by a newcomer named William Hochman, an even taller, lankier man. Bill had a tough row to hoe. But it became obvious immediately that this young interloper knew a thing or two about his subjects and could make them come alive at least as well as Lew had.
In May of that year, the day arrived for senior sneak.
CO, USA. There once was a man from Nantucket His cock was so long he could suck it He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it. Thank you very much Olyarms and those who voted for me. TX, USA. Little Miss Muffet went to the cubbard to find her poor doggie a bone, When she bent over, Rover took over because he had a bone of his own.
All throttle, No bottle. There was once a woman named Dot Who lived of semen and snot When she got tired of these, She ate the green cheese, That she scraped from the sides of her twat. The chestbursting kind AZ, USA. Originally Posted By LoginName: There was once a woman named Dot Who lived of semen and snot When she got tired of these, She ate the green cheese, That she scraped from the sides of her twat.
I keep it handy FL, USA. Please disregard the previous message. On 8 March and for some time after that, my post per day count averaged at UT, USA. There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in his cave, she was missing a tit and smelled like shit, but look at the money he saved.
There once was a man from Peru, who fell asleep in his canoe, while dreaming of Venus and playing with his penis, he woke up all covered with goo. Originally Posted By GreatWaputi: There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in his cave, she was missing a tit and smelled like shit, but look at the money he saved. That first one reminds me of a friend of mine who used to be a necrophiliac NE, USA.
There once was a hooker named Sue who filled her vagina with glue.
Crude limericks
She said with a grin, "They pay to get in. They can pay to get out of there too! Love and darkness and my sidearm. PA, USA. KY, USA. There once was a guy named Sweeny Who's girl was a terrible meany The hatch on her snatch had a catch that would latch and could only be fucked by Houdini. I once new a man who liked Glocks He said they were tougher than rocks He tried to shoot lead It kaboomed by his head And now he lives in a pine box.
Purveyor of 87 types of fine cowbells. VA, USA. There once was a man named Crocket He got his dick caught in a socket His wife was a bitch, she threw the switch And crocket went off like a rocket. There once was a man from Bel Air He was screwing his girl on the stair The banister broke, so he doubled his stroke and finished her off in mid-air A mathematician named Hall Had a hexahedronical ball The cube of its weight times his mothers plus eight is his phone number, give him a call.
In the Garden of Eden sat Adam Stroking the bust of his madam He laughed out with mirth, for he knew that on Earth There were only two boobs, and he had them.
Funny/Dirty Limericks? - ARCOM
Sic Semper Tyrannis Psalm 37 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. I am going to waste brain cells trying to remember these. WA, USA. There was an old man from Racene who invented a fucking machine concave or convex it would fuck either sex but, oh, what a bitch to clean There was an old lady named Alice who used a dynamite stick for a phallus They found her vagina in west indo-china and her anus in Buckingham palace "Ginger," he said.
Oldies, but goodies: Here I sit, broken hearted; Tried to shit, but only farted. Went outside, and took a chance; tried to fart but shit my pants! Instead of multiplication, She taught fornication, And never got past sixty-nine.
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There was a man from De Grasse Whose balls were made of brass. In inclement weather, He'd knock them together, And sparks would fly out of his ass. There once was a man from Blatz Whose balls were constructed of glass. When they clanked together, They played "Stormy Weather," And lightning shot out of his ass. There once was a man from Boston Who drove around in an Austin. There was room for his ass And a gallon of gas, So his balls hung out and he lost them. There was a young girl named Myrtle Who had an affair with a turtle. Her swelling abdominal Was considered phenomenal 'Til they discovered the turtle was fertile.
An unfortunate fellow named Chase Had an ass that was badly misplaced. He showed indignation When an investigation Proved that few persons shit through their faces.
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There was a young man named Hentzel Who had a terrific long pencil. He went through an actress, Two sheets and a mattress, And shattered the family utensil. There once was a man from Nantuckett With a cock so long he could suck it. Said he, with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, "If my beard was a cunt, I would fuck it. He said, "I admit I'm a bit of a shit, But think of the money I save.
To save himself trouble, He put it in double, And instead of coming, he went. There once was a rabbi from Keith Who circumcised men with his teeth. It was not for the treasure, Nor sexual pleasure, But to get at the cheese underneath. There once was a man from Iraq Who had holes down the length of his cock. Great tufts of grass Grew out of his ass, And he couldn't sit down for the weeds.