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Others, to mend the matter, will make a drawing of you in the Camera ;—that is most unfair of all,—because, there you are sure to be represented in some of your most ridiculous attitudes. Indeed, the gait and figure of him was so strange, and so utterly unlike was he, from his head to his tail, to any one of the whole species, that it was now and then made a matter of dispute,——whether he was really a Hobby-Horse or no: but as the Philosopher would use no other argument to the Sceptic, who disputed with him against the reality of motion, save that of rising up upon his legs, and walking across the room;—so would my uncle Toby use no other argument to prove his Hobby-Horse was a Hobby-Horse indeed, but by getting upon his back and riding him about;—leaving the world, after that, to determine the point as it thought fit.

If the reader has the curiosity to see the question upon baptism by injection , as presented to the Doctors of the Sorbonne , with their consultation thereupon, it is as follows. Vide Deventer, Paris edit. Pentagraph , an instrument to copy Prints and Pictures mechanically, and in any proportion.

I have begun a new book, on purpose that I might have room enough to explain the nature of the perplexities in which my uncle Toby was involved, from the many discourses and interrogations about the siege of Namur , where he received his wound. Nicolas , which inclosed the great sluice or water-stop, where the English were terribly exposed to the shot of the counter-guard and demi-bastion of St.

The issue of which hot dispute, in three words, was this; That the Dutch lodged themselves upon the counter-guard,—and that the English made themselves masters of the covered-way before St. Nicolas -gate, notwithstanding the gallantry of the French officers, who exposed themselves upon the glacis sword in hand.

Writers themselves are too apt to confound these terms; so that you will the less wonder, if in his endeavours to explain them, and in opposition to many misconceptions, that my uncle Toby did oft-times puzzle his visitors, and sometimes himself too. What rendered the account of this affair the more intricate to my uncle Toby , was this,—that in the attack of the counterscarp, before the gate of St.

Nicolas , extending itself from the bank of the Maes , quite up to the great water-stop,—the ground was cut and cross cut with such a multitude of dykes, drains, rivulets, and sluices, on all sides,—and he would get so sadly bewildered, and set fast amongst them, that frequently he could neither get backwards or forwards to save his life; and was oft-times obliged to give up the attack upon that very account only.

James Mackenzie , and has considered well the effects which the passions and affections of the mind have upon the digestion— Why not of a wound as well as of a dinner? He was one morning lying upon his back in his bed, the anguish and nature of the wound upon his groin suffering him to lie in no other position, when a thought came into his head, that if he could purchase such a thing, and have it pasted down upon a board, as a large map of the fortification of the town and citadel of Namur , with its environs, it might be a means of giving him ease.

Roch :——so that he was pretty confident he could stick a pin upon the identical spot of ground where he was standing on when the stone struck him. All this succeeded to his wishes, and not only freed him from a world of sad explanations, but, in the end, it proved the happy means, as you will read, of procuring my uncle Toby his Hobby-Horse.

So, Sir Critick, I could have replied; but I scorn it. You see as plain as can be, that I write as a man of erudition;—that even my similies, my allusions, my illustrations, my metaphors, are erudite,—and that I must sustain my character properly, and contrast it properly too,—else what would become of me? Now if you will venture to go along with me, and look down into the bottom of this matter, it will be found that the cause of obscurity and confusion, in the mind of a man, is threefold. Dull organs, dear Sir, in the first place.

Secondly, slight and transient impressions made by the objects, when the said organs are not dull. When this is melted, and dropped upon the letter, if Dolly fumbles too long for her thimble, till the wax is over hardened, it will not receive the mark of her thimble from the usual impulse 63 which was wont to imprint it. Very well. What it did arise from, I have hinted above, and a fertile source of obscurity it is,—and ever will be,—and that is the unsteady uses of words, which have perplexed the clearest and most exalted understandings.

Gentle critick! When my uncle Toby got his map of Namur to his mind, he began immediately to apply himself, and with the utmost diligence, to the study of it; for nothing being of more 64 importance to him than his recovery, and his recovery depending, as you have read, upon the passions and affections of his mind, it behoved him to take the nicest care to make himself so far master of his subject, as to be able to talk upon it without emotion. Nicolas , where he had the honour to receive his wound.

But desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it. The more my uncle Toby pored over his map, the more he took a liking to it! The more my uncle Toby drank of this sweet fountain of science, the greater was the heat and impatience of his thirst, so that before the first year of his confinement had well gone round, there was scarce a fortified town in Italy or Flanders , of which, by one means or other, he had not procured a plan, reading over as he got them, and carefully collating therewith the histories of their sieges, their demolitions, their improvements, and new works, all which he would read with that intense application and delight, that he would forget himself, his wound, his confinement, his dinner.

Blondel , with almost as many more books of military architecture, as Don Quixote was found to have of chivalry, when the curate and barber invaded his library. Towards the beginning of the third year, which was in August , ninety-nine, my uncle Toby found it necessary to understand a little of projectiles:—and having judged it best to draw his knowledge from the fountain-head, he began with N. Tartaglia proved to my uncle Toby to be an impossible thing.

No sooner was my uncle Toby satisfied which road the cannon-ball did not go, but he was insensibly led on, and resolved in his mind to enquire and find out which road the ball did go: For which purpose he was obliged to set off afresh with old Maltus , and studied him devoutly. Where an exact copying makes our pictures less striking, we choose the less evil; deeming it even more pardonable to trespass against truth, than beauty.

In the latter end of the third year, my uncle Toby perceiving that the parameter and semiparameter of the conic section angered his wound, he left off the study of projectiles in a kind of a huff, and betook himself to the practical part of fortification only; the pleasure of which, like a spring held back, returned upon him with redoubled force. It was in this year that my uncle began to break in upon the daily regularity of a clean shirt,——to dismiss his barber unshaven,——and to allow his surgeon scarce time sufficient to dress his wound, concerning himself so little about it, as not to ask him once in seven times dressing, how it went on: when, lo!

When a man gives himself up to the government of a ruling passion,—or, in other words, when his Hobby-Horse grows headstrong,——farewel cool reason and fair discretion! The poor fellow had been disabled for the service, by a wound on his left knee by a musket-bullet, at the battle of Landen , which was two years before the affair of Namur ;—and as the fellow was well-beloved in the regiment, and a handy fellow into the bargain, my uncle Toby took him for his servant; and of an excellent use was he, attending my uncle Toby in the camp and in his quarters as a valet, groom, barber, cook, sempster, and nurse; and indeed, from first to last, waited upon him and served him with great fidelity and affection.

My uncle Toby loved the man in return, and what attached him more to him still, was the similitude of their knowledge. My uncle Toby was seldom either the one or the other with him,—or, at least, this fault, in Trim , broke no squares with them. My uncle Toby , as I said, loved the man;——and besides, as he ever looked upon a faithful servant,—but as an humble friend,—he could not bear to stop his mouth.

If I durst presume, continued Trim , to give your Honour my advice, and speak my opinion in this matter. Thou hast said enough, Trim ,—quoth my uncle Toby putting his 71 hand into his breeches-pocket ——I like thy project mightily.

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How my uncle Toby and Corporal Trim managed this matter,——with the history of their campaigns, which were no way barren of events,——may make no uninteresting under-plot in the epitasis and working-up of this drama. Sir, answered Obadiah , making a bow towards his left shoulder,—my Mistress is taken very badly. Slop , the man-midwife, with all our services,——and let him know your mistress is fallen into labour——and that I desire he will return with you with all speed. It is very strange, says my father, addressing himself to my uncle Toby , as Obadiah shut the door,——as there is so expert an operator as Dr.

Slop so near,—that my wife should persist to the very last in this obstinate humour of hers, in trusting the life of my child, who has had one misfortune already, to the ignorance of an old woman;——and not only the life of my child, brother,——but her own life, and with it the lives of all the children I might, peradventure, have begot out of her hereafter. Everything in this world, continued my father filling a fresh pipe —every thing in this world, my dear brother Toby , has two handles.

Slop , the man-midwife;—so that no one can say, with reason, that I have not allowed Obadiah time enough, poetically speaking, and considering the emergency too, both to go and come;——though, morally and truly speaking, the man perhaps has scarce had time to get on his boots. I would therefore desire him to consider that it is but poor eight miles from Shandy-Hall to Dr. Slop ;—and indeed he gave a dirty proof that he had met with him, and was within an ace of giving a tragical one too.

Imagine to yourself a little squat, uncourtly figure of a Doctor Slop , of about four feet and a half perpendicular height, with a breadth of back, and a sesquipedality of belly, which might have done honour to a serjeant in the horse-guards. Such were the out-lines of Dr. Imagine such a one,——for such, I say, were the outlines of Dr. Had Dr. What then do you think must the terror and hydrophobia of Dr. Slop was. What could Dr. Slop do?

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Slop ;—once as he was falling,—and then again when he saw him seated. In short, never was a Dr. Slop so beluted, and so transubstantiated, since that affair came into fashion. When Dr.

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Slop entered the back parlour, where my father and my uncle Toby were discoursing upon the nature of women,——it was hard to determine whether Dr. Here was a fair opportunity for my uncle Toby to have triumphed over my father in his turn;—for no mortal, who had beheld Dr. What business Stevinus had in this affair,—is the greatest problem of all:——It shall be solved,—but not in the next chapter. Writing , when properly managed as you may be sure I think mine is is but a different name for conversation.

For my own part, I am eternally paying him compliments of this kind, and do all that lies in my power to keep his imagination as busy as my own. Let the reader imagine then, that Dr. Slop has told his tale—and in what words, and with what aggravations, his fancy chooses;—Let him suppose, that Obadiah has told his tale also, and with such rueful looks of affected concern, as he thinks best will contrast the two figures as they stand by each other. Slop :—stay thy obstetrick hand;——return it safe into thy bosom to keep it warm;——little dost thou know what obstacles,———little dost thou think what hidden causes, retard its operation!

Slop ,—hast thou been intrusted with the secret articles of the solemn treaty which has brought thee into this place? Your sudden and unexpected arrival, quoth my uncle Toby , addressing himself to Dr. Slop all three of them sitting down to the fire together, as my uncle Toby began to speak —instantly brought the great Stevinus into my head, who, you must know, is a favourite author with me. He has so,—replied my uncle Toby.

Slop , interrupting him, and laughing most immoderately at his pun. Dennis the critic could not detest and abhor a pun, or the insinuation of a pun, more cordially than my father;—he would grow testy upon it at any time;—but to be broke in upon by one, in a serious discourse, was as bad, he would say, as a fillip upon the nose;——he saw no difference. Sir, quoth my uncle Toby , addressing himself to Dr. Slop , laughing. This is to serve for parents and governors instead of a whole volume upon the subject. The characters of the two brothers, in this view of them, reflected light upon each other, and appeared with great advantage in this affair which arose about Stevinus.

Pray, Sir, what said he? Slop , Mr. Shandy increases his own. My brother does it, quoth my uncle Toby , out of principle. At the end of the last chapter, my father and my uncle Toby were left both standing, like Brutus and Cassius , at the close of the scene, making up their accounts. Some men would have dropped the subject of Stevinus ;——but my uncle Toby had no resentment in his heart, and he went on with the subject, to shew my father that he had none.

Your sudden appearance, Dr.