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Table of contents

I was able to create a safety net to protect my ego. If I succeeded, I could attribute it to my innate talents and could further inflate my ego.


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I was able to get through elementary and middle school without studying with decent grades. I decided to protect myself by saying that I simply did not care about studying. I could flourish and show everyone how smart I am. Too bad they only keep teaching me all these useless things.

I indulged in the victimhood mentality. In this world, I was powerless to my oppressors, and could pity myself for the situation I was in. If only they could realize my true potential. If only someone would see that I was a smart kid and could do well if given an opportunity. I stopped doing homework and stopped paying attention in class. I started skipping classes, which turned into days.

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I started finding ways to deceive my parents to stop them from nagging at me. School work got harder. My grades got lower. My parents and sister grew frustrated with my indifference. All they saw was a happy-go-lucky kid, only caring about playing video games and shooting hoops at the park with friends. All my parents saw was a boy throwing away potential and a great future to indulge in the short-term pleasures of life.

In those days, I did not even realize what was happening to me.

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I did not know that all of my actions stemmed from an insecurity that I had. The imposter syndrome was defining the trajectory of my life. I was scared to fail, because I thought innately smart kids did not fail at all. They were supposed to be successful at everything they did.

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The more people I met and the more I learned about the world, I realized how insignificant my accomplishments were. I met people who could beat me with one hand in basketball. I met people who were ten times smarter than me, and I met people who were twenty times funnier than me. If they were my age or younger, I was even more devastated. The image I had built for myself crumbled as I grew older, and I became less confident and less competitive.

I settled for mediocrity. I surrounded myself with mediocrity so that I could at least be exceptional there. This makes us think of their achievements as something unattainable to us. This makes us think they were destined to do great things, while we are inevitably stuck in our mediocrity. This makes us think that with their innate talents, they just thought of a great idea, immediately executed on it and gained wild success. No one wants to hear stories of their past failures. We just want to hear about the millions they raked in with their successful ideas or products.

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We just want to hear about the success story — the rags to riches, the kid prodigy living up to their potential, the story of the hero. One thing that connects all these great people is their ability to persevere through their failures. They learned valuable lessons from failing and never gave up even when they were challenged and doubted. He started Microsoft and is now one of the richest men in the world. Steve Jobs dropped out of college after a year and was fired from the company that he started. He ended up leading Apple to become one of the most recognized and valuable brands in the world.

Elon Musk failed to launch three rockets with his company Space X and both Tesla and Space X were on the brink of bankruptcy in He is now one of the most successful entrepreneurs and many praise him to be one of the greatest minds of the 21st century who will lead humanity to take progressive steps. Once you realize that failure is a part of the process of learning and growth, you will be able to remove the fear and anxiety of tackling challenges or starting new things.

Part of the healing process was writing her memoir. Nique is born and goes into vivid detail about her life growing up. Since the book came out, Ms. Nique has been traveling around the country sharing her story of hope and inspiration with fellow abuse victims.


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    • She has several appearances planned for Chicago in March. On Monday, March 26, , Ms. Nique will speak to clients of Family Rescue Incorporated. On Tuesday, March 27, , she will meet with center staff.

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    Nique from Noon — p. About the Author Ms. Nique was born Monique L.