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Sandi Ward. Man kissed her cheeks and forehead, and tried to hold her, but she just Mother is my best friend, and I could see how she felt about things. placed my paw up to the face of one of the boys on her poster and made me tap him.
Table of contents

Sandi Toksvig in Conversation

This Is the Easy Part. New Flannel Sheets. Ten Fingers Ten Toes. Getting Ready for the Big Big Holiday. Empty Closet. Drawing the Line. A Sweet Life Again. Discussion Questions Teaser chapter Authors Note. She is a copywriter at a medical advertising agency.

The Astonishing Thing is her first novel. Visit Sandi at www. Subscription Notification. We have noticed that there is an issue with your subscription billing details. Please update your billing details here. Please update your billing information. The subscription details associated with this account need to be updated.

Please update your billing details here to continue enjoying your subscription. Your subscription will end shortly. Please update your billing details here to continue enjoying your access to the most informative and considered journalism in the UK. For the moment he was less engrossed in the tragedy which was occurring in the depths of the forest than in the prospect of tragedy nearer at hand. He sat under the white awning of the Zaire II and sipped a cup of cold coffee, his eyes never leaving the landing-place, where forty Houssas overawed the fifty or sixty thousand people of Rimi-Rimi. The Great King's own territory, and that of which for hundreds of years his family had been titular kings, was bounded on two of its sides by the river, which here took a wide bend.

Rimi-Rimi and the country about was set upon a plateau, the bluffs of which fell steeply to the water and presented no accessible or scalable point, save at the landing-spot opposite which the Zaire was anchored. Here the uncompromising level line of the cliffs sloped into an obtuse V.

Before him squatted one N'kama, and this philosophical prisoner, though there were handcuffs about his wrists, was a small chief whom Sanders had noted, on the night of his arrival, as being of the king's suite. Sanders brought his eyes back from the two posts which were held by Hamilton and Bones, and stared coldly down at the hunched figure at his feet.

Now, I think they will kill you more painlessly upon the land than I shall, for I shall hang you up by the heels on two sharp hooks and I will light a little fire under your head. The involuntary grimace on the prisoner's face told that the threat had been duly appreciated.

N'kama was silent, and when he did speak, it was to recall some of the legendry which was associated with Sanders's name. Often I have heard the drums of the Lesser People speaking of Your wickedness. The prisoners said you were dead, but now it seems you are alive, and my heart is full of sorrow.

Our People

Sanders did not smile. There were times when he doubted if he would ever smile again, and there was reason for his doubt, could he but foretell the future. Also I would not be here," he added naively, "but that one of your soldiers hit me on the head and then struck me in the back with his spear. Sanders knew the value of those intervals of silence which mean so much in native palavers, and resumed his scrutiny of the beach. Two nights before, in the confusion occasioned by the explosion, he and his companions had not only made their way through a panic-stricken people, but in the night he had established a bridge-head which served the double purpose of covering the Old King's city and maintaining the inviolability of his steamer, for the canoes of Rimi-Rimi were beached to the left and right of the gap.

Sanders sat up.

A Writer’s Log

In the excitement of the past days he had forgotten the murdered missionary and the horror of his daughter's fate. But the Devil Woman of Limbi came to the king and spoke for his life, and it was a terrible happening, for the old Devil Woman has never left the mountains for twenty years; but because she hates white people, the king's guard came upon the house of the God-man and slew his small woman.

But his own woman ran away in a little puc-a-puc, and it is said that she died in the swift waters. He said this so calmly and in so matter-of-fact a tone, as though he had been discussing some amusing social event, and Sanders, despite his experience, shivered. They say she has lived a thousand years, and buried her own mother under Limbi, piling up the rocks upon her until they reached the sky.

Lord, she is terrible," he said earnestly, "and all men fear her. It is said that she made the Old King, whom your lordship made to vanish, and all men know that he was older than the hills! Later in the morning Sanders withdrew his posts from the shore. His force was too small to split, and Fomba might come in considerable strength. When they sat at tiffin on the after-deck of the Zaire, Sanders related his talk with the man.

Gogglebox star Sandi Bogle in tears as she opens up about nephew's harrowing death

Bones, who had come aboard hungry, had in consequence kept silence; but now he rolled his table napkin briskly and smirked, and Hamilton, seeing the smirk, groaned. In re Devil Lady, why not chop off her naughty old head? You never know. One hates to miss any opportunity," he said half to himself.

If she gives trouble, and if she does instigate the people against us, that is another matter. His smile was unpleasant, and Patricia Sanders would never have recognized the quiet, soft-spoken man who picked caterpillars off his roses with tweezers in this hard-featured arbiter of Fate. There's Lubolama, chief of the Fongini; there is Fomba, chief of the Bubujala; there is the chief of Kasala and friend Kabalaka, who, I suspect, is not without his hopes of succeeding; he was a cousin of the king. And perhaps this naughty old lady, the girl of the Limbi lost—if you will pardon the jest—perhaps she's his aunt.

Why, I remember a dear old friend of mine—". It was two days later that the first of the claimants came upon the scene, and never was there a claimant less aggressive, more respectful, more frank and considerate in his attitude to all the world than Fomba, chief of the Bubujala. They saw him came in the dawn, twenty-four canoes that came down the river six abreast and keeping perfect line, and the whole crew and company of the Zaire stood to arms, anticipating an attack.

The Astonishing Thing by Sandi Ward - Book - Read Online

But the canoes swept round the bend and made for the shore, and at ten o'clock that morning Fomba presented himself on the ship. He was a big man, broad of shoulder and inclined to rotundity.

His cheeks were round and his eyes and expression intelligent. Unerringly he came straight to Sanders and saluted in the fashion of the territory. He turned to a waiting servant who carried a bowl, and scooped up a great heap in his two palms. He offered it to Sanders, who wetted his finger-tips, touched the salt and tasted it, an action which the guest imitated. He has been smitten by your great ju-ju. I do not dwell in this country, and yet my spies bring me news, and I have heard these things.


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Yet it seems to me, lord, that I who am here am nearer than they who are far. For if I set you up in the king's place, all manner of men will hate you, such as Kabalaka and Lubolama and the many sons of the Old King. Also there is a certain son of the king's second wife who sits with the evil men of the Bad Village. Now, in the Bomongo language there is only one word for "law" and "power", and for unbiased "justice" there is no other word than "vengeance".

So for "law" Sanders used the word 'lobala', which means "right" as distinct from "wrong". Fomba was frankly puzzled. When two nations are warring, is he not right who has the most spears and the bravest young men? Sanders hid a smile. It was queer to bear the paraphrase of Napoleon's dictum that Providence was on the side of the big battalions from the lips of an untutored savage. But to do that now means to bring the whole of the council against me; for whatever might be the individual ambitions of the chiefs, and although they all separately may desire the throne, yet it is certain that if I put one of them up, I should have the others in arms against me, and probably a rising here in Rimi-Rimi itself.

We are facing problems now which we've never met," he said seriously.

Sandi the King-Maker

What did happen seemed the most innocent of all possible occurrences. Fomba gave a great feast in honour of his kinsman and sovereign. It was to be a feast of a thousand pots. And Fomba desires that we should join the royal circle. He said we may all dine in the white style, and be of the royal circle, though not in it. It was decided that Hamilton should go alone to the feast, but at the eleventh hour Sanders changed his plan. Keep a searchlight on the beach, and let the men stand to arms. Bones wagged his head disapprovingly, for he had given the feast much more thought than Sanders could have imagined.

He had even planned a rescue, and had spent an hour in his store cabin collecting certain articles for use in case of emergency. He could do this without exciting the derision of Hamilton, because he was in charge of the ship's stores. The naughty old fat one may he working out a stunt—". I can't exactly see what Fomba could do, for the people would be with the king, and for the moment, at any rate, the little fellow's with me.

I've worked it out, and maybe you won't despise poor old Bones when his mind gets working," he said, resigned. My dear old Excellency, if you could see my back—". Abiboo is quite reliable, and will probably keep as good a watch as you.