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Table of contents
Now, what do you tell the likes of Harvey Weinstein, or simply a man that puts his hands were he should not? How do you shame them?
What a shame! And unless we do find an insult that clearly defines what patriarchal abusers are, we have no effective social and personal shaming mechanism.
Star Observer issue 1210
I usually find that the men I know and that fit that label do not proclaim their own gentlemanliness or feminism , for part of being a gentleman is restraint—no need to proclaim out loud what other should see for themselves. Restraint, on other hand, does not mean an inability to show feeling, a problem that indeed plagued the old-fashioned Victorian version of the gentleman.
No, restraint means here the ability to show positive feeling and control negative feeling: gentlemen do cry if they feel moved to tears but do not hit others in anger. Bullying and intimidation are not part of their conduct, either. I understand that speaking of etiquette and gentlemanliness in , rather than the pre-second wave , may sound obsolete but, believe, it is not.
This is a video published by Thames Valley Police in which very cleverly compares sexual consent with having tea. I complained that the tone is childish, and wondered whether young men shown this film would resent being treated as not too bright. But a younger female classmate patiently explained to me thank you!!! This means that women are suffering not only because gentlemanliness has been lost but also because we also have lost our own etiquette in the generalized rush to free ourselves, sexually and otherwise.
Archive for the ‘Gender Studies’ Category
We, women, need to inform each other of who is a good man and who is a patriarchal bad man, just like that. Of course, when Donald Trump is the one complaining we need to dismiss his words, for he is only protecting himself. As for the good men, whether you like being called gentlemen or not, you need to oppose the idea that all men are the same type of patriarchal abuser with more determination.
Women rejected ladyhood, beginning with the suffragettes, because it was an unsustainable burden, which limited our chances to be educated, make sound personal choices, be economically independent and, in short, full human beings. Whereas gentlemanliness limited men and regulated their behaviour in a way that benefitted them socially, it was the opposite for women oppressed by ladyhood. However, just as gentlemanliness can be recycled as a valid code for men today, I believe that ladyhood is perfectly compatible with feminism.
This is not 19th century ladyhood but a 21st version by which a woman makes the best of her own personal qualities. For me, being a lady is about being self-possessed, knowing how to behave, being sure of your own codes, insisting on mutual courtesy, treating the good men with respect, supporting other women. Now, I invite all men to make a gentlemanly impression… and reject toxic, barbaric patriarchal masculinity.
As actor Leticia Dolera quipped to one of the two male presenters no comment! Sounding bitter against all men, rather than encouraging to women, she again used the jaded stereotype according to which women film directors make intimate films that women enjoy best, and male film directors make stupid, gross action films for men which women hate.
I really tire of all this prejudice: some action films are great, others trash; some intimate films are great, others trash. In many ways. The spoof newspaper El Mundo Today , which is fast becoming my reference news media…, exposed this constant insincerity in its piece on the Golden Globes. If you recall, actresses decided to wear black dresses to show their disconformity with Hollywood sexualisation of the red carpet and of women generally.
The piece was illustrated with photos of beautiful mostly white women wearing pricey gowns and jewellery that most women in the world only see in red-carpet photo galleries. So much for feminist hashtag campaigns. No comment! This, again, highlights the immense hypocrisy behind the scapegoating of just Spacey. Then he proceeded to re-shoot some scenes, paying male lead Mark Wahlberg 1.
Wahlberg should present the award, with Spacey. And Woody Allen. And Diane Keaton. And Matt Damon. And Alec Baldwin. And Catherine Deneuve. Men like Portnow are the ones that make the hypocrisy of the apparently pro-feminist new climate most obvious. What I mean is that, as French sociologist Gilles Lipovetsky argued in The Third Woman and that was back in the idea of female victimhood plays a much bigger role in the American understanding of gender relations than in French gender culture.
Lipovetsky actually condemns American culture for instilling such fear in women that they are easy to prey on and victimize, whereas French women, he claims, are schooled in the idea that men will try to approach them in any way they can and this is why they need to fence for themselves. When I see the poor victims of the monster Larry Nassar explain in the courtroom that they are not victims but survivors what I think is that we need to raise young girls with a much greater awareness of the dangers of abuse and of their need and right to defend themselves.
I just wish the girls could have been given the support to use their courage much earlier, to stop the attacker from hurting them. You would not leave a little girl in the middle of the street to be run down by a car, so why not teach her as soon as possible to identify sexual danger and downright abuse?
This would not save all of them, of course, but it might help many. Believe it or not, someone in the University of Michigan told the girls complaining that Dr. Nassar had inserted his fingers in their vagina that this kind of rape is standard medical treatment.
The girls, befuddled and scared as they may have been, had to swallow this revolting excuse for abuse. This university, by the way, continued billing one of the mothers for sessions during which her poor daughter was being abused by the monster. This should be also punishable with jail.
Let me take a deep breath here and send my support to all the women and men! There are days when I wake up and I think that as a woman I am a barely tolerated creature, living in the tiny spaces patriarchy allows for me and others like me. This is not equality at all. I am also dismayed to realize, in view of all this hypocrisy, that patriarchy is trying to curb down its most blatant sexism racism, ageism, homophobia, etc.
Its hegemonic circles are proclaiming that a new era begins now, but this will still be an era of hierarchical dominance. More women will be given access to misogynistic industries, like cinema or videogames, but this will not significantly change any institution. I can myself see how the female majority in the Humanities school where I work has not really changed its structures: just the tone.
And this is what I fear will happen in all fields. Dismantle the pyramid, build a circle. And stop tolerating hypocrisy for this is what keeps patriarchy in its dominant position. SEE: harassment.
Agender : Intelligent individual tired of the obnoxious gender binary, who has made the wise decision to assume that gender is irrelevant sadly, it may be to yourself, but not to the others. SEE: asexual. Alleged rape : Perplexing way in which the media refer to the misogynistic hate crime of rape and which has no parallel with other crimes alleged murder? SEE: rape. Armpit vagina : Part of the female body discovered by actor Jennifer Lawrence, now a Nobel prize candidate for Medicine sub-section Anatomy. Finding body-shaming not thorough enough, Lawrence proceeded to point out how female flesh folds around armpits producing a strange vaginal hollow.
SEE: body-shaming. Asexual : Intelligent individual who, unlike most current human beings, has realized that sex occupies too much mental space considering how scant actual time is employed in having some. Asexuals are the only sane persons in our sex-crazed world although, sadly, their position appears insane to the sex-crazed.
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SEE: agender. Defenders of body-shaming claim that they mean well and their abuse is for our own good. SEE: armpit vagina.
Calaméo - Star Observer issue
Brazilian wax : Torture method consisting of getting rid of perfectly natural pubic hair in female genitalia by applying a layer of hot wax and pulling hard. This torture method, which would appal the Inquisition, is, inexplicably, endured voluntarily by millions of women all over the world as an effect of the popularity of porn among heterosexual men. Closet : Not to be confused with a wardrobe, particularly a cabinet wardrobe. In British English a closet is a small room that can be closed for privacy hence water closet, or w.
Rich houses had closets used as walk-in wardrobes or, rather, dressing rooms , but also as small studios; thus in Restoration comedy closets were often the place where adulterous affairs happened. Feminazi : A feminist in favour of building concentration camps where men can be exterminated using poison gas, while pretending this never happened. Feminism : An antidote to patriarchy.
Feminism Institutional : The terrorist branch of radical feminism. Institutional feminists force Parliaments to pass legislation designed to take all the power away from men to give it to women, so that men will know what it is like to be powerless. SEE: Feminism radical.