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NQN's Terrifying, Torturous Halloween Party!

Why the hell would SHE tell me that? Why they hell would she tell ME that? Why was she smiling when she told me that? The next time I saw her, I asked her what she was doing that weekend and she said, "nothing, do you want to go to a movie? And I wound up getting a date out of it. And eventually, a family. I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink. His response? We don't pay for water.

Girl kisses me in the dark in her bedroom at her birthday party. I nod and leave. Can I say one I was oblivious to? I was out of town, chatting to a girl at a bar. We figured out I was 13 inches taller than her.


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She said, "That's funny, I'm going on a date with a guy who is 13 inches taller than me tomorrow. Early interaction with my boyfriend- Me: "That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor.

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Truffleshuffled Report. Jetstream-Sam Report. Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2am, in the dark Her: applying strawberry lip gloss. Me: why are you putting on lip gloss? Her: strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice. Me: haha youre weird Her: want to taste? Me: nah I already know what it tastes like Commence several years of late night self loathing and regret.

LordCande Report. Via text Girl: Are you going to that party? Me: Yeah for a little bit. Probably gonna be boring. Girl: Yeah Me: Probably a good plan. Girl: So yeah I'll just be here tonight. Roommates are gone. Me: Sounds nice; my roommates never leave. Girl: Ok.

I'll be here all alone in my apartment. If the party sucks. Me: Very good. One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. I sent him a text replying, "come over and find out" and he replied two minutes later, "nevermind, I just Googled it". A few years ago I was working at my elementary school's annual spring fling. That day I volunteered to be the school mascot a big-ass bear costume for the morning shift.

It was a boring job of feeling like a pedophile the whole time because little kids would hug you constantly and be all over you. They were at just the perfect height for every kid's face to be just in your crotch.

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It was nearing noon and my shift was soon to be over when a girl my age, 17, stole the bear head right from my own head and ran away with it. I wasn't gonna pay for a damn bear head if she didn't return it, so I ran after her and followed her into an empty classroom with the lights off and the shudders shut tightly. I was staying the night at a female friend's house. I had a huge crush on her and it was the first night sleeping in the same bed. Her: Just so you know, jeans aren't allowed in my bed.

You have to take them off. Me: Hahaha that's a dumb rule keeps them on That one still stings. Czar-Fox Report. Oh my god my friend fits this sign completely. He was working on his doctorate in some science, I think physics and he was very busy, I had only seen him once in the past few weeks and he was always with this girl who was really cool. They would hang out a lot while he would do research and she would do work for her masters' thesis, would text each other every day and also they would once a week go out to burger king poor college students and have stuff from the dollar menu.

It was pretty clear that they dug each other as they seemed to be very similar and were both very interesting. They had met when he was finishing up his doctoral work and so I asked him what he planned to do. Well he said that he planned on asking her out. Now this confused me, as I had thought they had been dating for roughly the last six months, so I ask him if they've ever hooked up. And he's like yeah every time she comes over and they sleep in the same bed roughly 5 nights out of the week. Do you go out with her? He took her to burger king.

Do you really enjoy talking to her? Yeah I'm glad we talk all the time and stuff. And I say "Dude this sounds suspiciously close to a relationship".


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And he goes "Oh that explains this then". She had sent him a text saying "happy 6 months baby!! Even after this he still wasn't sure.


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  4. So yes my friend is retarded. They are still together to this day. A girl once asked to use my shower, and left the door wide open as an invitation. So I thought I'd be a funny guy and throw ice cubes at her. Me: I think you're really cute and I like you. A lot.

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    Accepting this unrequited crush, I decided I was happy being friends with him. When I asked why he didn't say anything when I told him my feelings "but I wasn't sure you liked me" That was 4 years ago, he's still as cute and dense now, and is fast asleep next to me. InappropriateUnicorn Report.

    Girl: Mind if we go somewhere a little more quiet to talk?

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    Me: Its not that noisy in here, just tell me here. I'm a certified dumbass. She told me she likes tall, muscular, hairy guys.

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