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There are times I go a while without playing at night, but if anything stressful happens, I can go on a spiral that goes on for a few days. It led to me dropping out of college. I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable. I admit that as far back as I can remember, even in the early years of my childhood, I have been addicted to video games.

I admit that I am powerless to control my addiction. Sometimes I think I am able to control it.

End Codependency: 12 Steps To Break The Spell Of Codependency In Just 3 Days

I can take days, weeks, sometimes even months off, or manage to limit my time, but I am in denial. I admit that I do not presently have the strength to battle this addiction alone, and that I will never have the strength to battle this addiction alone. My marriage of 6. I tried to hide my pain over my own abusive childhood with video games, and I tried to hide my addiction from her as long as I could. I was coping with the loss of my first serious relationship, a girl who loved me, but I never really loved back.

She got pregnant a few months before we broke up. My gaming addiction pushed her away, anx when she forced me to turn it off, I abused her for it, verbally and physically.

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Less than 2 weeks after the breakup, my dad, my main abuser, died, suddenly. I was lost, wallowing in pain. Drinking helped a little, drugs helped a little, but nothing helped as much as gaming. She gave me love. She gave me respect. She gave me understanding. She told herself that the games was a phase as I healed.

And we would fight. And I'd get better for a time. Then I would fall back. And the cycle of violence and abuse would begin all over again.

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I would blame what I did on her, and twist it until we both believed it and she forgave me. This went on for years. It was only her. Even when she was pregnant with our son, I abused her physically, verbally, and emotionally. When he was born it got better for a while. But as time went on it fell back into the cycle. I started abusing our children. Physically, verbally, emotionally. I intimidated and manipulated them into letting me do what I wanted, to game.

To leave me alone to game. My wife had 3 surgeries during our relationship. C-Section with our son, Breast Implants after she was done breast feeding to help her confidence and I now realize to hopefully entice me away from the computers and consoles, and removal of Endometriosis.


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And I was too busy gaming to take care of the house or the children. I got in an argument with my 14 year old stepson and physically forced him to his room. And when he left I tried again, but he fought me, we fell, and I crashed into and put a hole in the wall. I told my now 12 year old stepson that his opinion didn't matter so many times that he actually believed it.

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He believed it was worthless and felt suicidal. Through my actions I taught my now 6 year old son that the only way to spend time with dad is to play games with him, but be sure not to want to play a different game or do something other than what dad wants to do. I destroyed 4 beautiful people and countless beautiful friendships over 8 years due to my addiction, and another one before that. I don't think I'm truly a bad person.

But I made many bad choices to protect and further my addiction. My sponsor always told me, We're not bad people trying to get good, we're sick people needing to get well. I made many horrible choices when I was in active addiction.

4 STEPS to Help You END that TOXIC CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP

They affected my family and caused pain and regret. It's so good to be free of that insanity. Sometimes some of my choices are still poorly made, but mostly my life is vastly improved. I'd be glad to talk some time. Hi - I hope to find some support here as my second marriage begins to break apart for the same reasons as the first- my need to game excessively and to dedicate all my free time to it.

I am a 36 year old man. I have one son from my first marriage who I see every weekend. My habit is unmanagible, out of control and crazy. I am scared of my brain. Blizzard;s hearthstone is my drug of choice and I cannot abandon it- no matter what i try! I have a serious gaming problem. It affects my life and those around me.

ISBN 13: 9781500381417

Now to tell you a bit about myself. My name is Bryce, and I have been a serious gamer for over 20 years. I started when i was 6, I played games with my dad and enjoyed spending time with him. I would watch him play games and it excited me greatly.

Some of my fondest memories stem from those beautiful days. I got my first gameboy when I was 8, I had a sega, a dreamcast, playstation, xbox-xbox one, nintendo, psp, and eventually a pc. I was entranced by gaming, it brought out my happy, it made me feel good.

My childhood was a shaky one at best, I've nearly had as many dads as i do fingers, and we we're moving house nearly every year. Gaming was my only consistency in my life, so i held on, and held on hard. It consumed me in a way, but i was ok with it.

What is and what is not codependency?

I was in highschool, not doing terribly but also not doing well. I spent all of my free time playing games like call of duty or world of warcraft. I would stay up countless nights, sometimes until daybreak, only for my mom to come in and "wake me up" after i pretended for 10 minutes to be asleep. I would sleep in classes, on the bus, anywhere i couldn't game.

I was in college for over 4 years, failing many of my classes and passing a few. Again i was too busy committing all of my time to gaming, this time it was League of Legends. I eventually dropped out and binged on my addiction for the next couple of years, doing nothing but game. My social circle was only filled with other gamers, and they had to play the same games as me or i wouldn't associate with them.

She has been nothing but good for me, she's been supportive and understanding, trying to get me to see the addiction that i was so enveloped in. It took her 3 long hard years to finally get me tosee it for what it is, and to make matters worse, she's halfway through my first child's pregnancy.

I work, then i game. I avoid interactions in real life if it would take away from my screen time. I would avoid going to bed with my wife so i could stay up and feed my addiction in peace. I would get home from work and immediately open my computer to squeeze in any game time i could before my wife got home.

I was systematically ruining our relationship with my addiction, and to top it off I would even defend my actions. I would blame my wife, blame circumstances, blame ignorance, blame anything other than the addiction itself. My greatest failure by far to my wife and to myself is the fact that I have let this go as long as it has. There are things that can't be undone, lies that have been told that can't be untold, deceit that has found its way through the cracks of my relationship, however that doesn't spell the end for me, I know i can come back from this, i know that I'm stronger than this, and I know I can overcome this.

I look back to when my wife found out she was pregnant, a mere 13 weeks ago or so. She came out of the bathroom, bubbling with excitement, reeling in emotion and desperately wanting to share the experience with me. I couldn't even give her my undivided attention for longer than a fee moments, because guess what?